After reviewing our interview with Dr. Wednesday Martin I realized how tired I get of having to re-live my past over and over again. Of course the best thing I’ve ever done in my life has been having my oldest daughter who came out of my past. I don’t regret anything I went through because I have her. But living in a blended family can have its breaking points.
I am obviously divorced for a reason and I have moved on to have a very healthy happy marriage with my husband. Yes I am a part of a blended family but that doesn’t mean I have to live in my past. Writing for the Blended Family Soap opera has been a very cathartic experience for me and one which I enjoy so very much. As a matter of fact, it has blessed my life in more ways than I could imagine. When I write about issues I have within my own blended family they are geared toward my ex-husband; the issues we had to bring us to our divorce and the issues we currently face trying to raise our daughter.
The more I read and wrote the more upset I was getting because I kept having to live those past experiences and go through all of that again. It has helped me to overcome some issues and has helped me to help others – BUT I don’t want/have to live there.
I am a wife to a wonderful man and a mother to 3 amazing daughters now. I was blessed to meet my husband and have 2 more children with such an amazing man. This is my focus in my life now; my husband and my girls. Yes, living in a blended family means that we all co-parent together and try and be on the same page. At the same time, however, I don’t live over at my ex-husband’s house and he doesn’t live at mine. There has to be some space there. As much as I loved his family and my ex-mother- in-law who passed away – all of that is my past. It is HIS job to make sure my daughter has all of that now from his side, and of course his wife’s job as well because that is their family- not mine any longer.
I can’t nurture my own marriage and raise my girls as someone’s ex wife. And using the term current wife/husband just sounds like I’m some stop along the way for my husband or him for me. Titles, titles, titles! I know they have their place, but sometimes they can do more harm than good.
Was I previously married and did I have a child with that man? – Yes, we were married for a tad over a year and together for 5. I just feel that my life now is worth writing about as well.
I live in a blended family and my husband has been a part of my oldest daughter’s life for over 10.5 years now. My husband is also a great father to our 2 biological girls and a great father figure to my oldest daughter. He gets the everyday duties with her, like homework, making her clean her room, making sure she’s eaten, and picks her up from volleyball practice. Though my oldest daughter has her biological father in her life, it is nice to have a male role model to live with day in and day out. This is my life now. It all works, we all work, and we are blessed for that.
So I’m taking all of my titles and throwing them out the window because in order to make my blended family work I need to live in the present – not the past!