Children Live What They Learn
October 18, 2008 by Diane Greene
Filed under Daily Dose
As you all know, I often quote the saying “Children Live What They Learn.” This quote was ingrained in me by my mother when I got pregnant with my oldest son at the age of 19. She also had this saying posted on our refrigerator for years:
“If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.”
These words are the motto in which I as a mother and step-mother try to raise my blended family up in ,and I know that these words are what keeps me grounded when it comes to any conflict that may arise in our family. My hope is that some of the readers here on our forum will take away from this post the same thing I take away from it on a daily basis. Our efforts in maintaining our blended families are so important to our children.
When we are able to come to this realization, no matter what our situations, our lives will become easier within our blended families. Conflict will become easier to handle because our first and foremost thoughts will be the children ,and what they take away from our examples will teach them which roads to take when they themselves become adults and are faced with the same conflicts or situations.
I hope you are blessed by these words as much as I am.
Diane
Our certified stepfamily coaches/counselors focus ONLY on all issues of divorce, remarriage and the step/blended family. Whether you just got a divorce and are in need of a co-parenting plan, are about to get remarried and are in need of an entry play or are currently immersed in your blended family and are in need of a recovery plan, we can help. For a consultation, please send an email to counseling@blendedfamilysoapopera.com.
On Saturday, September 25, from 10 AM to 1 PM, Wednedsay Martin, author of Stepmonster and Rachelle Katz, author of The Happy Stepmother, will be giving a workshop for stepmothers. The event will be held in NYC, at the Parkside Lounge of the Westside YMCA and costs $75 in advance and $95 at the door.
If you are a modern mom in the NYC, mental health professional, family law attorney, girlfriend of a man with kids or a divorced dad who wants to improve his relationship with his girlfriend or wife, I highly suggest you attend. For more information, please email rachelle.katz@gmail.com.
So true! I have always said that we are the example for our children. How can they learn to treat other people with respect if they don’t see us treating their other parent with respect?
Absolutely!! Although, I realize that sometimes it is hard for us adults to actually act like adults and give ourselves and our former spouses/new spouses respect, we have no idea that our children are watching everything we do and their minds are like sponges. They take in and absorb and learn from our mistakes and from our accomplishments. If we try our best to stay on the right track with our blended families, the train won’t have to make so many unnecessary pit-stops so to speak. Of course, it is completely natural for our children to feel and to see disappointments and times when we aren’t so encouraged, but it’s how we bounce back that matters.