The Joy of Sacrifice

“In sacrificing something we believe, we can be rewarded with something we love….Morag Prunty”

Marriage is a lot like a good recipe.  It’s not an exact science, for example like baking, where every measurement counts, but it takes  a pinch of compromise, respect, love, loyalty and trust.  It also takes a pinch of sacrifice.

When problems arise in our relationships, we tend to throw the covers over our heads, stick to our attitudes and questionable actions, even when we know we are wrong. We forget that in order for our marriage or relationship to thrive and, more importantly, to survive, we have to sacrifice.  For example, I have spoken to many husbands whose main complaint in their marriage is that their wives don’t understand their need for frequent sexual intimacy.  Their needs are not being met and their wives brush their complaints off as idle chatter.  On the other hand, the complaint I hear from the wives of these men are that their husbands do not understand their emotional needs which has a direct trickle down effect on their sexual relationships with their husbands.  In both of these examples, from each of the husband and wives perspective, you can clearly see where a little sacrifice, on both sides, could turn these problems into positives.   Here are a few tips you might find handy:

• Open the lines of communication with your spouse/partner.
• Assure your spouse/partner that no problem is ever too big for the sacrifices that can be made between the two of you to fix it.
• Listen one another intently.
• Do not respond upon impulse.
• Do not let pettiness turn into hatred.
• Let go of issues that, at the end of the day, don’t really mean anything.
• Forgive.

Like any good recipe and marriage, you have to have all the right ingredients.  If you find out you are missing something after you have already begun preparing,  you have to make sacrifices to ensure the stability of  your base.   Sometimes, in order to feel more secure in ourselves, we allow ourselves to become too intermingled and caught up with the small inconsistencies in our marriages instead of finding ways around those inconsistencies to fix them  permanently.  If we spend a little more time on figuring out what it is that we, as individuals in the marriage, each can do to make sacrifices to change what we can to make our marriages better, we will find that our marriage is stronger, better and able to withstand the test of time.

The most important part of sacrifice is the ability to find acceptance.  Being able to accept each and every part of our partner or spouse, whether that be a good or bad quality, allows us to experience and to give and receive unconditional love and it is there that we find the joy in our sacrifice.

Peace & Blessings,
Di