For years the images of second wives have always wavered from one horrible image to another. If not the gold-digging young tenderoni that the man just wants as a trophy wife; it’s the much younger secretary that the man had an affair with. The woman that the ex-wife claims stole her husband, children and family. Or worst, the second wife is simply viewed as second choice and is perceived as always living in the shadow of his one true love and mother of his children. Perhaps this is the case with some second marriages, but these images shouldn’t be the only ones that we think of when we ponder second marriages. For many men, their second wives are hardly second best, but the true loves of their lives.
My Real Life Love Story
My wonderful husband often tells me that I am his one true love. He says that he didn’t truly know what love was until he experienced it with me. He calls me one of God’s most perfect creations – I love that man!! At any rate, our love definitely doesn’t mirror that of those tarnished images mentioned above.
We met in high school. I was 14 and he was 15. He played basketball with my brother and some other boys from my neighborhood (he didn’t live in my neighborhood) on occasion. I also saw him everyday in school (between periods) and we would always exchange a friendly ‘hi’ and keep going. He undoubtedly possesed the sweetest, most gentle spirit that you’d ever meet. I immediately felt connected when in his presence and always knew that we would be [connected] in some way. I just didn’t know how and really didn’t give it much thought; it was just something that I keenly felt. We didn’t date in high school, but remained friends. We lost touch, however, for many years after that. I saw him again after college at a local pancake house. I was having breakfast with my mom, cousin and son and he, with his friend. He walked over to me and immediately, that same high school feeling returned. And, he was seemingly the same sweet, gentle individual that I knew long ago. We played catch up for a few minutes and then he walked back to his table. Although I didn’t see a ring and he didn’t mention it, I heard that he was married so that was it – so I thought. As he was getting ready to leave he came back over to our table. He said that he had a son who looked to be about my son’s age, and he would love to get them together sometime. I thought that would be a fabulous idea so we exchanged phone numbers. After playing phone tag for a few weeks, we finally got together, but without the boys! On our first date, he revealed to me that he had been separated for over 2 years and was going through a divorce. Anyway, we literally saw each other almost everyday after our first date, and it felt like we had never been apart. Our boys got along great! They are only 3 months apart and soon became best friends. To this day, he is still the same sweet, gentle, loving man that I remembered in high school, and after 8 years, it only gets stronger. Our love is not one that was obtained by default; it was by design, God’s design. And, everything that we shared with our past significant others only prepared us to receive and appreciate the true love that we currently share. It’s funny because although I always felt that we’d be connected in some way, even back in high school, I never dreamed that I was passing my true love in those hallways.
I know that there are other second marriage love stories out there. We just rarely hear about them. I want to hear yours. Leave a comment or send an email to info@blendedfamilysoapopera.com to tell me about your second marriage love story.
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I love it!!!! Our stories are similar.
Hubby and I met in high school as well. We were both in the same class. The first time we started hanging out we were sophmores and I was dating one of his friends. I remember my boyfriend at the time got tickets to see The Rolling Stones, he brought 2 friends with us. (This is bad but both of us don’t remember the other being there but we were at the concert together LOL). Later that year I dumped that loser and hubby says we hooked up at a party shortly after the break-up. I don’t remember that.
Our junior year of high school we had chemistry together and were chemistry partners. We were the main partners but had 2 other guys in our group, they would cheat off of me and make me ask other people for help – guys, what can you say LOL. During that year hubby would randomly hang out with me and my girlfriends. I remember ditching 4th period with them and other time a group of us went to a musuem for a class project. That year he also asked me to prom. I knew that he had a crush on me but I didn’t feel the same, he was too nice and I wanted a jerk. So I dated son’s dad LOL Since I dated son’s dad my senior year of high school; hubby and I didn’t hang out so much but were still friends.
It was maybe 6 years after high school and we were both at the same night club. My friends were going home so he said he would take me home. We hung out, danced and drank for the rest of the night. On the way home we made out the whole drive. He took me home and we didn’t talk again.
Fast forward 4 more years and the invention of Myspace. Yep, hubby and I reconnected on Myspace. He looked me up, we flirted a little and talked whenever. Actually he was telling me that he just broke up with his live in girlfriend of 2 years and was dating. One of our girlfriends was coming up from San Diego so the 3 of us decided to get together. He said he would come and pick me up.
Oh my goodness, when he came to pick me up I was in love. He was tall and grew into such a MAN!!!!! We hung out that night and people kept asking us how long we had been together. I brushed them on off and said we aren’t together. even others could see the connection. Well a few drinks later we were making out in the parking lot LOL From that day on we were always together.
We dated for a year, engaged for a year and almost married for a year (of the rest of our lives). Our love is like nothing I have ever experienced, we have such a mutual respect and love for each other it is unreal. We both know how to make a relationship bad and we do all that we can to keep it going good. We both think about the other person first and base our actions on that. He is the best husband and the best step-father I could ever want for my son and myself. I love him to death, the way he makes me feel is priceless. He knows me so well.
We both decided timing is everything and that is why we didn’t get together before. I don’t think it would have worked out as well as it has. We both needed to grow up a little more.
Funny how connected we were before we started dating. Once we started dating he told me that he coached a mens baseball team that son’s dad played on. K-boy would go to the games with his dad, little did hubby know at the time, that little boy would soon be his stepson. Also hubby was close to son’s dad’s family. He would hear them talk bad about me but didn’t believe it since he knew me better then the way they were describing me.
It was fate, we were supposed to end up together. It just took 10 years to get us together but now that we are together nothing is going to get between us.
Awww…Serendipitous! I love hearing these love stories. I agree with you that if my hubby and I would’ve gotten together before, it probably would not have worked out. We ended up together exactly when we were supposed to.
Here’s to loving your spouse, truly, madly and deeply! Keep these beautiful love stories coming. I just love them!
*Kela*
I just stumbled across your blog from a link from Stepmother’s Milk. What a great love story! I’ll be back to read more soon.
Thanks, Meesha! Come back, read more and tell us your love story, too!
*Kela*
Great story Serendipitous!!! I love it!
I loved this post — Second time around love stories. I have to say that all of my girlfriends that knew my husband before I really got to know him kind of warned me that he was a “player.” I was a semi-newly (about 1 1/2 years) widowed 30 something with three boys when I first met him. What was weird was there was an immediate attraction between us and we both had the same circle of friends — with me being the new kid on the block. After about 6 months of him trying to get me to go on a date, I finally gave in. I really liked him but was afraid that I was “liking” someone too soon for myself and for my boys’ since the passing of their dad (my youngest never knew his dad as I was pregnant when he died). So the story goes that I fell for Randy and he broke my heart. He was what everyone warned me about back then. I didn’t talk to him for 3 years. I made sure my friends didn’t invite him to any of our parties or get togethers and I was a real b_tch about it! Excuse my words, but there are no others to describe. Of course, I had to hear through the grapevine about every girl he was dating in the interim and I always acted like it didn’t bother me; I even tried dating someone else as well. It didn’t work.
When I would get on my knees for prayer before bed, I would tell God that if he were to ever bring me another husband, I wanted it to be someone who would love my boys’ as his own and someone who had a daughter because I never had one and couldn’t have anymore children.
On my God-Brother’s 30th birthday, we were holding a big party. My God-Brother grew up with Randy. He had not invited him to anything for the past 3 years because of me and he asked me that day if we could please bury the hatchet because he really wanted Randy at his party. Needlesstosay, I felt really dumb. Of course, I said. Invite him. I am OVER him, plus, there was another man at the party already and he was paying lots of attention to me!! ;o) Well, the party was bumpin and we were having a blast and there was a knock at the door. It was him…..he walked in and looked right at me. Later that evening, he told me he was the stupidest man in the world for ever letting me go. He said if he got another chance he would never let me go again! Of course, my God-sister was telling him right to his face “You will never get another chance!” She is so protective of me.
Long story short. That day was 1/18/04 and we were married on 11/11/04, 10 months later. We have not been apart since that day. Oh, and God surely did answer my prayers in more ways than one. My husband has one daughter so I was blessed with her and she is the most incredible little girl I have ever met in my life. We are very close.
So, I believe that when it is God’s plan for someone to be in your life, it happens no matter how hard you try to get away from that person. My husband takes care of me. He does whatever it takes to make ME happy. I have never really known that true feeling from anyone before. He cares about how I am feeling every single day. He protects me. I was a single mother for so many years (before and after the death of my kids father) and I had very low self-esteem because it is hard to do everything by yourself. Randy has taught me that it is okay to let someone care for ME. It is okay to let someone handle things for ME! God really blessed me.
Diane
I love all of your stories, they’re beautiful!!!
I met my husband on a blind date, arranged by one of my relatives who was a friend of my husband. I’d have to say that it was love at first sight for both of us. We had an immediate connection. We are so blessed in many, many, many ways. We’re absolutely compatible, and we have such close relationships with not only our biological daughters, but each others daughters as well.
I fall more in love with him every single day, and after having been married for almost 6 years, I know that I was meant to share my life with this man. He tells me daily how happy he is that I’m his wife. =)
Thanks for letting me share.
What a beautiful story! I love those love at first sight stories, especially when they last!!
I love these stories too!!! What a great initial idea to post about!!
It may be too late but I wanted to comment on this post. First, how wonderful it is to hear these stories. It really makes me feel that I am not alone and that it really IS better the second time around. Sometimes it just takes practice to win the “big game” which I feel I did with my husband now.
Not only has he given me two beautiful little girls, he has taken care of my oldest daughter as his own from day one. Never would he ever use the word “step” when it comes to her. We have three girls. That’s it.
I filed for divorce from my first husband in March of 1998 after 1 year of marriage, 1 child, and 4 years of dating. We were young and agreed it better to go our separate ways. It was final in July.
I just wanted to concentrate on getting myself together and take care of my daughter and that was it. Then I kept seeing this one guy everywhere I went. It was so strange. He wasn’t a stalker it was alway coincidence! Then my friend asked me to come out with her one night. I did not want to go but I said okay at the last minute. What do you know, there was this same guy again. So I told my friend that was the guy I had been telling her about. Come to find out she knew him and that was that. We started talking and had a nice talk. He was dragged out too by his friends. I left and didn’t think anything of it. The next day was a Sunday and I had to work (retail!). My friend called me and said the guy from the night before had called her at 7:30am to get my number and so she gave it to him. We talked for 4 hours after I had put my daughter to bed. He was truly like no one I had ever met before. He was my “breath of fresh air” or my reason to EXHALE!
I didn’t let him meet my daughter until we had been dating for about 3 months. You just never know about people anymore. But he always respected that and was so excited to finally meet her. She immediately loved him and his family and we were all hooked together since then.
I remember the first night he decided to spend the night. It was late and my daughter was with my mom for the night. We had gone out to dinner and went back to my house. He slept in his jeans and t-shirt and even in his shoes and just held me all night! Now, I was nearly in tears to know that there were men out there who actually respected women and cared about the person they were with.
From that moment on, I knew I wanted to be with him. We were together for 5 years before getting married and just celebrated 5 years of marriage. Aside from being a wonderful man, he has been the most amazing father. To watch him with our girls makes me love him more and more each day. I finally got it right – it just took me two tries!
Beautiful story, J, and no, it’s never too late to leave a comment on a post.
You are so right. Often times it takes practice to get any type of relationship right, especially if you started really young the first time around. And, having that practice run makes it so much better the second time around.
So happy you found that reason to exhale!!
Amen Julie!!! What a beautiful story.