Team Family…by Tiya Sumter

Three Strategies Needed to Win

When a blended family is created sometimes wounds, baggage and a fear of not getting it right may come along with that. Being a product of a blended family, I placed certain expectations on my dad (he remarried). If he couldn’t get it right with my mom, he’d better show me (in this other relationship) why he chose to my step-mother instead. What I learned from that experience (it’s been 30+ years now) is that in order to make it work, we have to make sure everyone is taken care of, that everyone feels equally loved. It helps when the family spends quality time together developing bonds and coming to the realization that they are al on the same team. Here are some great ways to build up that team, we’ll call “Team Family.”

1. Family Mission Statement includes the goals and plans you have for your family. Each member must contribute. It is critical that everyone feels included and confident that their thoughts, feelings and opinions matter. Also included are the roles and importance that each member holds in the family and what you want your family to represent. A peaceful home, one filled with joy and fun, happiness and plenty of love are all wonderful goals to aim for. Whatever your primary goal is as a family, each member’s actions should reflect that mission. It is okay to refer back to the statement from time to time as a reminder of what the family said was important. After you amicably create your mission statement, it’s time to start planning. The plans for your family should encompass the vacations and activities you want to enjoy together. A fair way to plan is to alternate, have children pick the vacation one year and the parents, the next year.
2. Family Fun Nights Making family night a ritual in your home is a must. Family night can include games, cooking contests, living room sleepovers, dance contests, movie watch and review nights and much more. Just taking the time, turning off the television and computer to just talk is extremely effective for building a strong team. Be open and think outside the box when planning your family fun night. One more great option for a blended family is the get to know you game. Asking general questions, such as who’s afraid of spiders or whose favorite color is green is a great way to see how well the family knows one another. Have each family member anonymously put down a few random facts about themselves, place them in a hat and allow each member to pull one out and guess which person it is. This works well with families that have older children.
3. Always Consider The Team. Working together is what keeps the team strong. Always communicate with one another on how you can make your family better. Let the children speak up and share what they can contribute to the success of the family with the parents sharing the same. Ask yourself what you can personally do to add (that joy, peace and happiness…refer to your mission statement) to your family. Remember, actions do speak louder than words. Show true team family spirit and teamwork with every action. Each family member’s energy and positive attitude are necessary to “Team Family.” When you are on the same team, working and planning together will definitely help you reach your ultimate goal…”Winning.”

Tiya Sumter is a Certified Life and Relationship coach and owner of Life Editing. Her belief is that all of our lives tell a story and it is up to us which story our lives will tell. Her methods involve teaching her clients how to recognize what’s not working in their lives and/or relationships and removing those negative thoughts and behaviors that frequently block us from living the lives that we want. It’s about creating a life story that reads exactly how it would read, if you wrote it yourself. To learn more about Tiya and her practice please visit www.lifeediting.com.