As a person who has experienced blended family issues for nearly a decade I would have to utter a resounding NO! I love my husband with all of my heart, but it has been and still is a challenge to put up with all of the dynamics of our blended family. We not only have to deal with the unique (that’s my nice way of putting it) personalities of our respective children’s other parents, but we have to deal with their new spouses as well. In addition to that, we have to deal with trying to maintain a relationship with our own children; trying to integrate both of our children into our household; and oh yeah, at some point we actually have to try to work on building our marriage.
I must admit that I was so naive prior to dating and eventually marrying my husband. I thought that as long as we loved each other everything else would be okay – NOT! Love, life or marriage just does not work that way. The fact of the matter is that it takes a whole lot more than love to make a relationship of any type work. As a matter of fact, most “traditional” marriages, meaning those who come together to form a union and don’t have kids, end in divorce. This alone should prove that love definitely does not conquer all. So, if it is difficult to make a relationship with just two people invovled work, how do you expect it to get any easier when you involve 6 other people? And, at some point, you might even want to have your own children!!!
Having said that, I am already engrossed in my own blended family, and after 7 years there is a lot more binding my husband and I together than tearing us apart. Although our blended family issues still exist they are not an issue for our marriage any longer. We have finally formed a bond that can not be broken by ex-wives and ex-lives. Now, every time his ex attacks it only makes us that much closer. But, we went through many ups and way more downs in order for us to get to this point.
I know I must sound like a hypocrite because I had a child entering into my current marriage, but this is why I can offer the best advice for people considering the blended family. I will end by saying the best advice I can give is to: 1) Don’t have children prior to marriage – it complicates things. 2) Don’t marry someone that you can’t see yourself being divorced from! Check out your potential mate prior to marrying him or her. How does he or she deal with conflict or disagreements between you two? What are his or her views on parenting? If they have children, how do they get along with their ex-spouse? You need to ask yourself these questions and many more before seriously dating, marrying or having kids with anyone.
What about you? Would you date or marry someone with children? I want to know. Vote now on the left-hand side of this page.