Steve Harvey’s New Relationship Book
March 23, 2009 by Kela Price
Filed under Daily Dose
First published on Phyllis Du’Gas’s Blog. Steve Harvey, actor/comedian and divorced dad who has been married 3 times is giving relationship advice in his tell all book; Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Read the review below.
Is he serious? I’m just saying….isn’t Steve Harvey on marriage number three?
I use to be an avid listener of the Steve Harvey Morning Show before the plug was pulled from my area. The show has since moved to New York. I love Nephew Tommy, I think he’s hillarious. I never much agreed with some of the advice Steve gave his female callers because he at times can be very rude. I do however recall Shirley Strawberry mentioning on air that perhaps he should write a book. You see, whenever a woman writes one of those Strawberry Letters about problems she’s having with a man, Steve calls himself the “Code Cracker” as if he’s in a position to offer the only sane advice to women struggling in relationships.
While researching information on this feud with comedian Katt Williams, I ran across an article about his new book, “Act like a Lady – Think like a Man.” What men really think about love, relationships and intimacy. Barnes and Nobles is taking pre-sale orders as the book will be released on January 27th. I won’t lie, I laughed. You’ve got to be kidding!
Is it just me? If I’m in a failing relationship I don’t think I’d want advice from someone who’s on marriage number 3. Isn’t this the same man that cheated on his second wife with his third wife, and screwed his second wife in an ugly divorce settlement? I don’t claim to know Steve Harvey’s personal business. I do know that Mary Harvey (wife number 2) was married to Steve for 10 years and they were together for 17 years. I believe Mary Harvey was the backbone wife who helped him become the success he is today. (Spoken from his own mouth on numerous occasions during his marriage) The Steve Harvey Foundation was after all originally called, The Steve and Mary Harvey Foundation. I noticed after the divorce that her name was dropped.
Come on Steve, a relationship book?
I’m sure the book will do well just on his celebrity, but this is one woman who won’t be rushing to Barnes & Noble to buy it.
I’ve read the complaint/lawsuit filed by Mary Harvey. Steve Harvey can’t tell me squat about relationships. LOL!
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I personally know some people who are on #3 marriage and in fact one who is past #3 marriage.
I can say this… most of them should have stopped at 2. Now their business is not my business so perhaps that was harsh. I just figure that if there is a continual pattern of serial marriages, and no deliberate effort on personal growth, then odds do not seem good for success.
For me, I really do not think I would have the energy for #3 if #2 ended in divorce. I would wonder what it was about me that I am missing the boat on how to keep a marriage together.
Furthermore, I would not value input from any of the people I know who are multiply divorced. Well… with one expecption. Someone I know made a choice to marry #1 under some circumstances that were improbable of a good chance of success. Sure enough it didnt work out.
So they ran from #1 to #2 under slightly less shaky circumstances and had done a lot of self-evaluation. Unfortunately, it appears that the person they chose was less willing to self-evaluate and #2 ended in catastrophy.
They are now in #3 but between 2 and 3 they did a ton of work. Including going back to #1 and making things right for the wrong they did in leaving them. Plus a ton more soul searching and input seeking.
So if this is the progression, perhaps there is credibility to someone being multiply married being able to render advice. But if someone is a serial spouse going from marriage to marriage and just blaming the other party, or quitting without doing the real work, then I don’t see much credibility.
My wife and I did a lot of work individually and together before we made the decision to get married. We even asked our counselor to give it to us straight…. “are we nuts? Are we being naive?” We got honest answers on these questions and did some honest work to address the answers.
We also on an ongoing basis keep ourselves and our attitudes in check by getting outside input.
To me, this is what it takes to make a marriage (1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc) work in our current culture of easy divorce and shallow commitment.
In fact, my cousnelor is divorced and remarried. And it was important to me to know more about it. I found out that the counselor’s #1 left them after multiple affairs and then eventually decided they were gay. Even then, they did years of therapy to see if they could make it work. Ex refused and walked away anyway.
That to me is taking it seriously and really trying. I can take advice from such a person. I would be completely averse to taking advice from a d x 3 celeb.
Ciao.
Chaz
I agree, Chaz.
I think that circumstances for people are different regarding multiple marriages. I am on my 3rd marriage. My first marriage was at 20 and it was a nightmare for me personally — as I have described in other posts. We were only together 2 years out of the 5 that we were married. Years after, I married the man of my dreams, my high school sweetheart, and 3 months after our marriage, he passed away in a motorcycle accident — we would still be married had it not happened. 6 years later, I married my current husband and he is my knight in shining armor. So, let’s not lump everyone that has had more than one marriage in the same group — not being able to give advice on blended families, etc. Everyone’s circumstances are different.
If you want to make it now days, tear down men through books and the media. Steve Harvey got on Oprah because his book degrades men. Oprah never put on posiutive brothers on her show, If you are beating your spouse or cheating, you will make it on her show. Where is the outrage from brothers on Steve Harvey. Married three times and alleged cheating on his spoise and now he judges other brothers. Sad we live in times where if you throw yor brother under the bus you get recognition.
That’s my point, Roy. Steve Harvey is a good comedian, but with his track record, I just don’t see and can’t support him as an expert in the areas of marriage and relationships. Positive brothers need to be uplifted and showcased more often. Show me the brother who is in love with his wife, an excellent father to kids and somebody else’s and respects women and let him be the expert in marriage and relationships. Believe it or not, these men do exist; my husband is one of them.
Thanks for chiming in on the discussion, Roy. Your thoughts and insight are greatly appreciated and always welcomed.
*Kela*
Spicy Wifey is going to be reviewing Steve Harveys book soon. Its the prelude to a panel discussiong we are having!
CNN recently had Steve on as well. I know several men & women who have read the book and loved it. I think Steve is the perfect author of this TYPE of book. Its not a book on marriage or relationships. It a sort of tell all or tell it like it is book for women about men (who aren’t sincere or clear in their intentions). Very similar to the “He’s Just Not That Into You” movement. Steve is a self-admitted reformed dog and father of daughters. In fact the book is marketed toward single women.
A good man and husband without the doggie dog past may not be able to provide the perspective on this topic Steve can having been on both sides. I am fortunate to be happily married and in no rush to read Steve’s book!
I do look forward to hearing the perspective of single women who read the book though.
Phyllis Du’Gas is right on about Steve Harvey’s book!! I could only stomach this book in bits and pieces because it was so disgusting. Steve Harvey is a pig, and any man who thinks like he thinks is also a pig. DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK – it is an insult to all the intelligent and decent women (and men) out there! Hope wife number three has a pre-nup, because that dirty dog will be out hunting for wife number four in no time!
I agree. I would not support a man who has his track record as Kela says and is trying to offer advice on how a lady should expect to be treated by a man when he is guilty of being the man he describes in his book and worse.
I’m seeing this guy that has been married 3 times and has now asked my hand in marriage. Like an idiot, I said yes to keep from hurting his feelings. He has 2 children by wife number one, 1 child by wife number two and no children by wife number three. Each marriage left him busted financially and all of his 3 wives are still living. He goes out on a limb and ask for my hand in marriage and purchases a ring when he wasn’t in a position to buy a ring. I am a young financially stabled widow with a minor son and an adult daughter. Any thoughts on why people marry numerous times ?
Lisa,
I, too, have been married three (3) times. I had a child prior to my first marriage and had another during that marriage which ended in divorce. My second marriage I was also widowed. I am on my third marriage and it is great! Sometimes, there are extenuating circumstances that cause people to marry numerous times, like in my case, but other times, I believe that some people just can’t be alone. They just can’t function unless they have someone by their side that they beleive they can fall back on. Whether it be for financial reasons, emotional reasons, etc. My question to you would be….how long have you known this man before he asked for your hand? What is his financial position now–after being busted financially three times? Is he a very clingy person, etc.? How do you feel about his asking you to marry him? Do you want to be tied down with someone with all those responsibilities and unfortunately someone that doesn’t have that good of a track record with successful marriages?
Let me know what you think about these questions.
Di
Di,
I think everyone deserves one mistake in marriage but your second marriage was due to death which is not your fault. All three of his wives are very much alive and still breathing.
To answer your question, he wanted me to marry me within 6 months but gave me a ring at our 1 year anniversary. He’s NOT positioned financially because child support consumes half of his take home pay and yes, he is a very clingy person. Sounds like I’ve answered my own question.
Lisa,
I am sorry it took me so long to respond, I didn’t get an alert this time. I think you are right about answering your question. Not to pass judgment, but sweetie, sometimes when someone is too clingy, has a habit of “needing” to be with someone and not able to really function on their own, then, to me, that can be a red flag. My advice would be to just take your time. Do you have any children? I am sure his child support is fierce! Girl, just take your time. I would get a pad of paper and make a line down the middle and title one column “Pros” and the other “Cons.” Figure out all the good things about him and all the possible “cons” as well and see which side out weighs the other. I do that all the time when it comes to my decision making. It really helps a lot!!! Keep hitting us up and checking back on this post. I love hearing from you and would like to know the outcome of your situation!
My best regards,
Di
Lisa, I just realized that you did state you have a minor son and an adult daughter. Also that you are financially stable. That is sending another red flag up to me. Anyhoo, not trying to sound too negative, but just want you to see that point too. In re-reading your post, I also noted that you said you said “yes” to his proposal to keep from hurting his feelings. Another red flag! Marriage is a big step and something that you should never feel pressured into (especially if it is only so you’re not hurting the other persons feelings). Please keep us posted and take care!
Di,
You hit it on the head! I didn’t want to hurt him, but I knew when I accepted the ring, I couldn’t marry him. The thought of marriage scares me but I’m sure I won’t have the doubts I have when the right one comes along. I can say that since that time, I’ve learned to be more open about my feelings. I explained to him that he was not free to marry me and he researched the bible up and down to justify that we could marry. I stood my ground ! Drama is not a part of my life and will never be. I’ve offered my life long friendship to him which is all I’m able to give.
Lisa,
I am glad that you followed your heart and your intuition and stood your ground. There is no justification anyone can make if the other person’s feelings just aren’t there. When God sends you Mr. Right, you will DEFINITELY know it! You did the right thing. Life is too short, not just for you, but for him as well. As a former widow, you know as well as I do that life is entirely too short to not follow your heart especially when you KNOW it is telling you the right thing to do.
Keep on keeping on and stay patient!!!!!! Believe me, Mr. Right will come along. He did for me! But only in HIS time!!
All my blessings,
Di
Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting.