Sexless Marriage – [seks les mar-ij]
1. A married couple who has sex 10 times per year or less.
There are many reasons that sex seems to “get laid” (no pun intended) down by the riverside in remarriages and marriages for that matter. The stress of raising kids, combining households, running your household, the economy, dealing with ex-spouses, co-parenting issues and trying to learn each other all seem to get in the way of SEX! Not to mention that at a certain age and after a number of years of marriage, one just loses his or her motivation AND runs out of new ways to keep it spicy in the bedroom. Not only that, but finding the time to have sex seems darn near impossible.
My husband and I have been together for 8 years and in the beginning, we had sex MULTIPLE times a day! We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Since we came into this marriage with 2 kids who were both 4, we found creative ways to make time for sex. We would both come home on our lunch breaks, have late night quiet sex or have all day sex on the rare occasions when both kids were out of the house. Now…after long days, promotions hence more responsiblity at work, school activities and preparing to do it all again the next day; we’re both lucky to stay up past 9:30. I think being newly in love helps to keep that adrenaline pumping and stamina up or something. That or maybe we were just younger then and therefore didn’t require much sleep. We still can’t keep our hands off of each other, but we THOUGHT that finding the time to take it a step further would be impossible. That was until we changed our mindset and decided to put the focus back on us. We refused to fall victims to this sexless marriage epidemic that plagues over 50% of all married or remarried couples. We discovered that it was less about making an appointment for sex, but more about making US a priority and sex would naturally evolve.
Although sex is a small portion of the union, it still plays an important role in marriage. As such, it is crucial that remarried couples carve out some time just for YOU and only YOU; not the kids, not the drama with the ex-spouses, not the economy or the finances, but just YOU.
Here are some ideas that have helped keep my husband and I in love after 8 years of blended family marriage.
- We limit the drama discussions. If there is an issue with an ex-spouse that can’t be resolved for whatever reason, we don’t dwell on it. We move on and don’t discuss it over and over and over again.
- We have date nights once per month – NO KIDS. Don’t feel guilty about dropping the baby off at grandma or grandpa’s, aunt or uncle’s or a trusting friend. Your marriage and your kids will thank you for it later.
- We talk about sex A LOT!
- We touch each other often. Whether it is a kiss while I’m making dinner, a pat on the butt when he comes in from walking the dog, or holding hands while riding in the car; we make it a point to maintain frequent affectionate contact.
- We recently discovered sexting; texting little romantic/sexual messages.
All of these things help keep sex and US on the brain and help to keep it HOT in the bedroom. What about you? Give our readers some tips on how you keep it hot and spicy in the bedroom. You can email them to email@example.com or comment on this article.