Laurence Fishburne’s Daughter is a Porn Star?

Actor Laurence Fishburne’s 18 year old daughter, Montana Fishburne, will release her first X-rated DVD later this month.

Montana is a daughter from his previous marriage. He and his former wife, former actress and now personal trainer, Hajna Moss-Fishburne, divorced when Montana was two year’s old. However, Montana assures us that it wasn’t a troubled childhood of any sort that led her into the world of porn; instead, it was simply her love for sex.

In an E! News interview with Giuliana Rancic, she explained that after losing her virginity at age 16, she realized that she loved to express her sexuality and finds it very liberating to do so.  She also says that like Kim Kardashian (although Kim did not want her sex tape released), she isn’t using her new DVD to break into show business. She just loves sex.

“I think it was just wanting to explore sexuality,” she added. “Cause I know it’s such a big world I was just like, wow, well since I like sex … I wanted to see everything that I would like, every kind of fantasy I would like and porn is a way that I could explore that,”  she explained.

Montana also stated that although her mom wasn’t necessarily excited about the idea and expressed worry and concern for her, she supports her decision and just wants what’s best for her. Her dad, Laurence, on the other hand will not return her phone calls.

Laurence Fishburne is best known for his role as Furious Styles, in the 1990’s hit movie Boyz in the Hood and for his role as Morpheus in the Matrix. He has been remarried to actress, Gina Torres, who plays Dr. Dorothy Rand on the new show, Huge, since 2002. They share one child together.

Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz are Official

Its wedding season and Alicia Keys proved that you can be pregnant and still look stylish and beautiful in your wedding dress. This past Saturday Keys, who is in her last trimester, said “I do” to music producer, Swizz Beatz.  So often women shy away from walking down the aisle when they’re pregnant because of how they think they’re going to look in their dress.   Keys looked like an Egyptian Goddess in her Vera Wang gown, head piece and Christian Louboutin shoes. The 29 year old songstress and husband, whose real name is Kasseem Dean (31), had a small intimate wedding with their close family and friends in southern Corsica Piantarella, located in Italy.  The wedding may have been small but there were some really big names in attendance such as Bono, Tommy Hilfiger and Queen Latifah. Soon-to-be mother Alicia Keys is now stepmother to two sons and one daughter.

All summer Keys has shown the world how to be fabulous and pregnant at the same time. Her looks have ranged from rompers to mini dresses. Bye bye 80’s mom hello fabulous! Of course you want to be comfortable while you’re pregnant but gone are the days where you have to wear mom jeans and oversized shirts. Women are embracing their baby bump and looking like hot mama’s while doing so!

Keys on Good Morning America

Keys at BET Awards

Congratulations to the new couple and family. We wish you all the best!

Ta’Keisha Violet Ryan is currently the Assistant Director of Midwest Fashion Week and works side by side with some of the best designers in the Midwest. A love of fashion is what led her to create her blog Violet Meets Fashion where she encourages her readers to live life fabulously. Ta’Keisha is inspired by Kimora Lee Simmons but she attributes her sense of style to Sarah Jessica Parker/Carrie Bradshaw.

Halle Berry and Ex Co-Parent in Africa

National Photo Group

Halle Berry and her estranged boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry, flew to South Africa on Sunday where Berry will spend the next several months taping the film Dark Tide.

Berry and Aubry split after 5 years but not before conceiving their beautiful 2 year old daughter, Nahla.  Although the two broke up and have not yet worked out permanent custody arrangements, they will be living together in a home that was rented for Berry while she’s on location. Aubry, a successful supermodel, did not want to miss out on months of seeing his daughter and has decided to move half way around the world to take over parenting duty while Berry works. Berry 43, will pay Aubry 34, to be her full-time nanny while she works.

In May a source told Radar the following:

It’s been pretty difficult for Gabriel to see Nahla the last few weeks. He’s really getting sick of it and it’s getting to the point where he is seriously considering his options regarding pursuing permanent custody. The latest issue is that Halle is due to move to South Africa during July, August and September to work on a movie and she wants to take Nahla with her full time. That would mean Gabriel not seeing his daughter for three whole months and there’s no way he’s going to allow that.

Gabriel requested that he be allowed to keep Nahla with him in Los Angeles, but Halle wouldn’t let that happen, so the two reached a total stalemate and it started getting nasty, with both of them looking into entering a legal battle.

In the end, they reached an agreement. Basically Halle is going to pay Gabriel to be a kind of full-time nanny and to come to South Africa for the three months she’s there, and to be Nahla’s full-time caregiver.

There have been no reports of the pair permanently reconciling. This arrangement is just so that neither of them have to go several months without seeing their daughter.

Good luck to the Berry/Aubry co-parents!

Work-at-Home Moms

Whether you are a mom in a modern or biological/nuclear family, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a work-at-home mom, you have a tough balancing act to perform.  Balancing work life and family life separately is a daunting task, but for work-at-home moms  (and I personally know a few great women who make working at home a part of their daily lives) who walk a fine line daily in order to balance work and family life.  Let’s face it, us traditional working mothers are often times envious of the proverbial “stay-at-home” mom and we talk about how work-at-home moms have the best of both worlds and how it is so easy.  Granted, they do have the best of both worlds, but at a price.  Believe me, I have seen it first hand and quite honestly, although staying with my children and having the flexibility to work from home would be great, I’m not sure I could be as well organized as these women are.

Being a work-at-home mom is tough.  Trying to juggle day-to-day work activities and changing pampers at the same time isn’t always a conducive way to get things done.  However, these courageous moms find a way.  I have watched women conduct conference calls, take notes, schedule meetings,  nurse a baby, send a spreadsheet via email and put the baby down for a nap all in one afternoon.

Remember the “price” I spoke about above?  Albeit unfairly, most work-at-home moms will experience challenging pressures while walking that tightrope.  At times, husbands will take for granted the special skills their wives possess and at other times will confuse working at home with staying at home.   This especially holds true if maybe a wife was once a full-time working mom and stepped out on faith to become an entrepreneur.  During tough economic or stressful times, these women may be made to feel as if their contribution to the family has waned, which in turn causes resentment in both husband and wife. This is just one example of the ”price” some work-at-home moms pay to have the best of both worlds.  Another example is the pressures of finding balance of mixing work with family life.  Most of these women are up at the crack of dawn and don’t lie down until the wee hours of the morning in order to get work done just to start over again the next day.  Let’s not forget that nothing stops that toddler or infant from waking up in the middle of your conference call, the dishes still have to get done, the laundry folded and dinner prepared.  Granted, at the end of the day, some will say that these women “signed up” for their jobs so they should just handle the pressures that come along with it and be grateful that they can stay home with their children and make money at the same time.  Yes, they signed up for their jobs, but they also work their behinds off and deserve support from their family members and friends but especially from their spouses.

Research shows that in the past 10 years, there are more women entreprenuers (a lot of which are work-at-home moms) than ever before and the numbers are continuing to grow.  Women want to and can do both!  So, TMF husbands who have the blessing of having work-at-home wives, throw your support behind the great women you have in your lives.  I challenge you to walk that tightrope for one day and step in your wives shoes.  I can promise you will be simply amazed at their talents.  These women deserve kudos!  They are doing it all and their efforts should not go unnoticed.

Today’s Modern Family says “hats off” to all of you work-at-home moms who are doing it all.  Especially those who also balance the blended family as well.  Keep up the good work!

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Our Favorite Hollywood Blended Family - The Smiths

The Smith Family

The Smith family, which includes actor Will Smith, his beautiful wife, actress, Jada Pinkett-Smith and their 3 children, Trey (from Will’s prior marriage), Jaiden and Willow, are one of my favorite Hollywood blended families. The entire family, including Will’s ex-wife, Sheree and her husband, former NFL player, Terrell Fletcher appeared on the show.

When Oprah expressed that stepmom and ex-wife apparently get along, Jada responded by saying that she and Sheree made a conscious effort, early on, to get along.

“Sheree and I BOTH had to make that decision because at the end of the day, we had Trey and he had to be our primary focus,” she says. “So we had to put aside our own craziness, our stuff, all the baggage that comes with it. She and I just had to focus on, ‘What does he need?’”

The equally beautiful and marvelous, Sheree Fletcher, also chimed in by saying that while getting to that place took time and lots of “conversation”, it was extremely important.

Sheree Fletcher

“You realize, [Will and I] had our chance, now it’s about those kids,” said Sheree.

Will and Jada also discussed their plan for marriage, specifically called a Marriage Business Plan. This plan outlines their goals for their life and marriage.

“If you don’t have a purpose for your relationship, if you don’t have a place that you’re going, something that you want to accomplish, something that you want to do, you can really get lost in the murk of the journey,” Will says. “There has to be a vision. Like, why are we together?”

Will and Jada also said that they stay out of the spotlight (drama) because they believe the higher power put them together. As such, they focus on the greater purpose of their marriage instead of focusing on the drama. In turn, they have been able to create and sustain wonderful relationships within their blended family and raise 3 incredibly grounded children in Hollywood.

A very big round of applause goes to the Smith’s blended family for creating a solid marriage for their children and putting all the craziness (as Jada describes) aside to create a healthy family for their children. I LOVE IT!!!!

Stepmom, Jada Pinkett-Smith’s Aha Moment: She tried to micromanage the world. By letting go and doing less, actress Jada Pinkett Smith realized she could actually be more.

Source: The Oprah Show and Oprah.com

Sandra Bullock Adopts Baby Boy!

People cover of Bullock and baby

Just 10 days after the Oscar’s in March, Sandra Bullock and her husband, Jesse James, split following reports that he had cheated. Four years prior, Bullock and James had begun an adoption process. However, Sandra finalized the adoption of her brand new baby boy, Louis Bardo, Bullock, as a single parent.

Bullock adopted the 3 and a half month old from New Orleans, and the 45 year old Oscar winning actress says she couldn’t be happier.

“He’s just perfect, I can’t even describe him any other way,” Bullock reveals exclusively in the new issue of PEOPLE. “It’s like he’s always been a part of our lives.”

Currently, James is in treatment for a sex addiction, but there’s  no word on whether or not these two will repair their broken marriage and family. Bullock has been like a mother to James 3 children; Sunny, Jesse and Chandler, and they all miss her very much.

This poses a question that I’ve been thinking about for quite some time now; especially since the divorce rate for second marriages is higher than the first. What happens to the children of an unfortunate second divorce? What happens to the relationship with a step-parent with whom they’ve grown close to? What happens when their biological parent finds yet a new love and even gets married again? How many parental relationships do these children have to attempt to work on; their biological parents, former step-parent and new step-parent? Is it best for a former step-parent to just back away so that the children are able to cope better? I am going to answer these questions in an upcoming article.

For now, congratulations to new mom Sandra Bullock.  I wish the best of luck to this modern family. I hope they can find a way to make it better for the children who are always caught in the middle.

“Thank you to all the parents who love children no matter where they come from.” ~Sandra Bullock

Dwayne Wade’s Estranged Wife is Suing His New Girlfriend

Dwayne Wade

I really thought I had experienced and heard it all before as a stepmother, but this just takes the cake.

Associated Press recently reported that the Miami Heat basketball star, Dwayne Wade’s estranged wife is allegedly suing Dwayne Wade’s new girlfriend, actress, Gabrielle Union! Why? Because she alleged that her ex-husband’s new relationship is causing her and their two sons, ages 8 and 2, emotional distress!

The two separated in 2007 and have been in engaged in a contentious divorce battle ever since. Adding to this nasty battle, the former Mrs. Wade, allegedly filed this lawsuit, which lists her two sons as plantiffs, in Chicago earlier this week. In it, she claims that Union engaged in sexual foreplay (hugging and kissing) in front of the boys (side note: I guess she was able to do this all by herself) causing them “severe emotional and mental distress.” Get this…It also claims that her boys only received “medium sized gifts” from Wade this year while Union received the “biggest gift of them all.”

Additionally, Wade’s estranged wife expressed that Union often plays the roles of the super sexy seductress, and has apparently “decided to take that role off the film and into the home of a married man, and in the presence of his two minor children.”  As such, she is seeking damages in excess of $50,000!

Union issued a statement insisting that the allegations were indeed false and Dwayne said that they are “baseless and meritless.”

The court ultimately rejected these claims as frivolous and Union apologized to the Cook County court for taking up their time for these “erroneous” claims.

Gabrielle Union

Wade’s soon to be ex-wife also claimed in the suit that Wade’s oldest son has been suffering from anxiety resulting in “severe hair loss and bald spots” and the younger son is suffering from feelings of rejection and depression (side note: apparently this is Union’s fault, too and the fact that the two decided to divorce BEFORE she came along doesn’t matter).

A friend of Wade’s estranged wife claims that the former Mrs. Wade threatened to find a gun and shoot the basketball star and voluntarily admitted herself into an Illinois hospital to deal with anger related issues; however, Mrs. Wade says that the allegations are false and has filed a suit against her for libel and slander.

Finally, the attorneys who represented Wade’s estranged wife in the divorce has been excused from the case, citing an “impasse and irreconcilable differences” between attorney and client.

My Commentary: As the former long time girlfriend of a basketball player, with whom I share a child, I know how that world can be and therefore, I am not excusing certain behaviors. I also know how painful separation and divorce can be for all parties involved; however, it’s not the girlfriend and in some case, new wife’s fault. You can’t blame EVERYTHING on the newcomer.  In this case, the divorced parents need to hold themselves accountable for how they are affecting their children throughout this process. Hugging and kissing isn’t what is causing their son emotional distress to the point that his hair is falling out. Mom and/or dad who act impulsively, put their kids in the middle of frivolous court battles, and  apparently aren’t communicating like adults who want to cause as minimal damage as possible to their children, are the ones who are the cause of their childrens’ emotional and mental distress.

There’s no debate that divorce is hard, especially when it includes deceptive acts such as cheating, but what’s done is done. He cheated, he’s moved on, and though it may not be easy, you have to move on to. Don’t make a bad situation worse by throwing your children directly in the middle of a court battle. Instead, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and focus on you and your children.

Moving forward, I hope that they can work out their differences without causing further damage to their two beautiful children; they certainly don’t deserve this. I wish them all the very best as they try to work this out.

Super Sexy Single Mom - Catt Sadler

You know her as E Network’s entertainment reporter on the hit show Daily 10. I know her from my pageant days as a fellow Indy 500 Princess way back in 1995. Who is she? She is the super sexy, confident, newly single mom Catt Sadler. This recently divorced mother of two adorable boys is another example of one who is redefining herself post divorce and embracing what’s to come.

In an interview with Singular City, an online magazine for successful LA singles, Sadler opens up about her new life as an entertainment reporter, being a single mom and dating again.  She expressed that although she isn’t changing the world reporting on the biggest break ups and best dressed at the Oscars, that’s okay because her first and most important job is that of a mom. She also said that her divorce, which was final nearly 3 years ago, hasn’t soured her on marriage; however, she is cautiously entering the dating scene again.

“Dating as a single mom ain’t easy,” she says. “It’s a very delicate situation that I take seriously. The fact that I have kids hasn’t been a deterrent for guys, but determining if or when they get to meet my li’l dudes requires a lot of consideration,” said Catt.

This independent single mom said that she isn’t particularly jaded about men and is interested in completing her family again someday. But for right now she is learning a lot about herself and enjoying it. Way to go Catt! What a positive outlook on life and love post divorce.

For the full story first published on Singular City, click here.

Step-parenting and Separation

It’s all over the news.  Sandra Bullock hadn’t even had the chance to really enjoy her Oscar before being hit with the news of her husband, Jesse James’ extra-marital affair.   Sandra, who has taken on the role of Mom to James’ youngest daughter, Sunny, is very attached to her stepchildren (James and Bullock obtained custody of Sunny when her mother was incarcerated).  Sandra has taken on the role of stepmom whole-heartedly to James’ oldest daughter, Chandler as well.

The media reports have been relentless.  I am sure given the situation that it must be hard to be a step-parent, and in some cases, parent to someone elses’ children, love them unconditionally, take care of them unequivocally in the absence of their parent and then, when a conflict arises such as this,  you are forced (so to speak) to separate from not only your husband or wife but the children you love and are helping to raise.  Then comes the major blow…by separating, you pretty much have no rights to your stepchildren either.  This begs the question that People Magazine asked in it’s April issue “What happens to her stepkids?”

I found myself asking myself the same question.  Sandra Bullock seems to thoroughly enjoy her role as a stepmother and loves her stepchildren unconditionally.   Her stepchildren seem to love her as well.  She stated in 2007, “My love and my want for their future….is no less than if I’d had a child on my own.”  As a stepmother myself, I know the love that I have in my heart for my own stepdaughter.  I can’t imagine the thought of this happening in my life.  But, unfortunately, it is a hard true reality that we, as good step-parents, have to face upon divorce or separation.  For me, it hurts to even think about it.

It’s unfortunate that this situation had to occur, not just for Sandra Bullock, Jesse James and his children, but for the millions of step-families around the world that experience trouble in their marriages and end up in divorce.  Not only do the adults in the matter get hurt, but more importantly, the children experience pain and loss that more than likely they have already experienced when their bio parents divorced.  Some of these children, like Sandra’s stepchildren, have bonded with their step-parents only to lose out again and experience a second round of loss.

Hang in there Bullock/James family!

Peace & Blessings,
Di

85 Years of Marital Bliss!

I came across this fabulous article featured on www.msn.com and was astounded!  Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of New Bern, N.C. have been married 85 years and on their May 13th wedding anniversary, they will join the elite club of the world’s longest marriages on record.  Mr. Fisher is 104 and Mrs. Fisher is 101.   The article went on to say that in order to find other couples married 86 years and more, you have to go back more than 200 years.

The Fisher’s credit their marital success to faith in God, a loving family and a few big fusses over their long marriage.   What more can be said?

We here at Today’s Modern Family salute Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of New Bern, North Carolina.  Here’s to 86 years of marital success!

Peace & Blessings,
Kela and Diane

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