Ways To Be A Happier Mom

Whether you are a mom, a stepmom with or without your own children, being happy is not just a necessity, but crucial.  Some of us tend to create impressions that we are truly happy to satisfy the emotional well-being of our children and husbands but fooling ourselves at the same time.

As I have written in prior posts, I feel that the number one reason we dont allow ourselves to be happy is because we have conjured up this notion that we are not allowed to nurture ourselves.  We refuse to “let go” of being the “be all and do all” for everyone except ourselves.  This is really a crime to our mental and emotional well-beings.  Key words…”being all and doing all” for ourselves, FIRST, doesn’t limt our happiness.

When we are only happy within limits, we are accomplishing nothing except giving ourselves self-satisfaction in exchange for a ruinous path.  By doing this, we cannot submit our grievances to our partners if we are not prepared to change this bad habit at the same time.  By limiting your own personal happiness, later in life, you will be remorseful for not paying attention to yourself.

Throughout my 20’s and 30’s, I lived this way myself, mostly unhappy and neglected;  not because I couldn’t be happy, but because I chose to put everyone ahead of me!  Because I was a single mom for most of those years, I didn’t think I had the time, nor did I feel it was proper to put myself before my children.  Boy, was I wrong!   As I have stated before, it’s like when you first board the airplane;  the stewardess teaches you to always put the oxygen mask on yourself before your children.  Why, because if you aren’t healthy and able-bodied how can you help anyone else?  The same goes for taking care of ourselves as single parents, moms and stepmoms.   It wasn’t until recently, in  my early 40’s did I really begin to see those effects and how by incorporating a few simple changes I could make my life better.  It really was an epiphany to me.  Now, I yearn each day to see what other ways I can find to incorporate more happiness.  By doing this, I have become a way better mother and stepmother.

Here are a few simple tips for nurturing that you can apply in your life as well:

• Take time to focus on your personal spiritual growth.
• Splurge on yourself once in a while — you work hard — you deserve it!
• Take 1 hour a day to yourself and focus on YOU!
• Surround yourself with good people who are uplifting.
• Take time for friendships.
• Take a class or focus on a hobby that brings you joy.

Another important value of finding happiness is “weeding out your obstacles.”  Keep in mind that just as weeds can take over a garden or a flower bed, they can take over your thoughts, perceptions and attitudes to the detriment of your own well-being.  Even healthy plants, if they aren’t cultivated properly, get sick.  As women, we run ourselves down at the drop of a hat; even dropping everything at a moments notice when our children, step-children or husbands need something.  Often times, it becomes overwhelming and feels like you are fighting against a never-ending current, all of which makes us uneven and out of balance.

Moving our obstacles out of the way of our true happiness allows us to take a stand for what is crucial to preserve…and that is living not just happily but abundantly.  Our children and step-children will grow up and move on and we need to have our own happiness.  As I stated in the preamble of this post, this not only applies to moms, but equally importantly to step-moms.  There is a preconceived notion that it’s okay for moms to need a break from the monotony of every day life and motherhood, but if a stepmom expresses such, she is being weak, unloving and mean.  What husbands and ex-wives forget is that a stepmom deals with the same, if not more, issues and stresses any other parent in the blended family.  Think about it, she has her own children, her stepchildren, constantly changing routines to fit everyone, and most of the time, she is overlooked in the appreciation department.  Even still, she also deserves to find happiness and to take time for herself as well. 

So get on board ladies!!  Don’t be afraid to move and weed out those obstacles!  I promise you, you will be a better person and mother for it!

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Easily Transition Your Summer Wear to Fall

It’s almost September and time to start switching your closets from summer to fall. If you’re a fashionista on a budget like me then you’ll be happy to know that a lot of your summer items can make an easy transition into your fall wear. How so? Glad you asked!  You can take those cute skirts you loved during the summer, pair them with cute tights, a blazer and boots or pumps then presto change, you’ve got yourself a new outfit. 

 Have a favorite t-shirt? Try pairing it with a cute blazer, jeans and heels and you’ve got an easy outfit that you can wear to the store, dinner or anywhere else. 

A simple sweater or cardigan with heels or flats will allow you to continue wearing your summer dresses. Some dresses you’ll need to leave in the summer like those halters but even your long maxi dress will be cute to wear this fall.

If you feel the need to buy something new this fall but don’t have a lot of money to spend, try updating your look with new accessories or buy a few staple pieces that you can mix and match with other items in your closet. Never be afraid to venture into a store like forever 21 or Charlotte Russe,  you may not like their clothes but you’ll be surprised at what you can find on the accessories table. Both stores have great accessories for even better prices. I believe you’re never too old to be fashionable. Play around with look until you love until you find something that works for you. It’s all about you and YOUR personal style! Check out these reasonable priced pieces (all under $100) that will instantly take your outfit from drab to fab!

Baker's necklace $14.00

Old Navy Blazer $29.50

Forever 21 Bracelet $8.80

Simple Black Dress from Target $24.99

Baker's Shoes $79.95

Pants from Newport News $19.00

Ta’Keisha Violet Ryan is currently the Assistant Director of Midwest Fashion Week and works side by side with some of the best designers in the Midwest. A love of fashion is what led her to create her blog Violet Meets Fashion where she encourages her readers to live life fabulously. Ta’Keisha is inspired by Kimora Lee Simmons but she attributes her sense of style to Sarah Jessica Parker/Carrie Bradshaw.

Secret Retreat Tucked Away in the City

I’ll spill the beans if you promise not to tell anyone…my back patio lol!! Ok, ok maybe not to the masses, but to me nestled on my outdoor love seat, sipping a cup of coffee (or lemonade as I’m frying an egg on the side table in this 90+ degree heat) it certainly is. I have lived here for years and ya know, I’ve never really and truly invested into this space before this year. It was always something that I put off, but I made up my mind that this would be the year that I actually enjoyed the space.

The furniture came from Target and Ikea over the last few years. They actually held up very well. I even left these out all winter and no rust! Don’t try this at home though. The green and blue rug is from Pier1, pillows and cushions from Home Goods and lanterns from Cost Plus World Market. Flowers, plants and trees I got from my local farmers market in Detroit, Eastern Market. I really love the experience there. You can negotiate, get some really great deals and talk to knowledgeable folks who can school you on which flowers to get depending on how much sunlight they’ll be in. They were a huge help to me. I’m almost 2 months in and flowers still holding up well!

Show me your outdoor hide-a-way!

Or do you have one that needs a little TLC?

Check out the before and after pics.

Before

After

After

Before

After

Raynée Crowe, TMF’s primary modern home contributor, is an interior decorating consultant who ironically never considered herself creative, and then one day the ‘ol proverbial light bulb went off.  Her love for mixing and matching colors, patterns and decorating had manifested itself into daydreaming of color swatches, textiles and room arrangements.  That passion and excitement grew and soon it was pure enjoyment as she worked with friends and clients to select color pallets, accessories, furniture and arrange spaces.  Finally she understood the saying “if you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life” and so in 2008 Color Vision LLC was born.  For more information, you can email Raynee at yourcolorvision@gmail.com.

For more great tips and ideas, check out her blog at www.yourcolorvision.wordpress.com.

Wall Therapy

Check out these great options for your walls

1. Modern Wallpaper

Photo: www.burkedecor.com

Prints are back! But this isn’t your grandmother’s wallpaper. Fussy floral designs and passé paisley prints-definitely out. These days you can find some seriously cool patterned paper to adorn your walls. Used strategically, wallpaper is like the icing on the cake for any space that needs to be kicked up a notch. Like window treatments, wallpaper can really finish a room. Check out www.burkdecor.com for more styles. I love this one! It’s perfect for a hallway or a wall in a home office.

2. Stencils

Photo: http://www.etsy.com/listing/42930016/wall-stencil-anemone-grande-large-size

Wall stencils are a fresh alternative to framed wall art and a creative way to add an artistic flair to a drab space. You’ve seen them used in children’s rooms (think Winnie the Pooh, Tigger and the gang), but they’re not just for kids anymore. Check out some fun yet sophisticated options here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/CuttingEdgeStencils.

Another neat thing about stencils is that you can also use them to amp up your flooring!

3. Decals

Photo: www.ragingvinyl.com

How cool are wall decals?! With so many different designs to choose from, you’re sure to find one to suit your space. And because they peel off easily, you can change the look of your room on a whim without spending a lot of time or money.

4. Chalkboard Paint

Photo: www.remodelista.com

Mommy tip: Need to keep your children occupied while you’re washing dishes or cooking dinner? Paint a wall in your kitchen with chalkboard paint! Kids can write, draw and create where you can keep an eye on the little monsters. Easy to clean, it’s the perfect spot to leave fun messages or reminders for the family. It’s also a great place to hang the kids’ art work. Oh, and if you’re having a dinner party, try displaying your menu creatively on your handy kitchen chalkboard. ; )

Which one will you try?

Raynée Crowe, TMF’s primary modern home contributor, is an interior decorating consultant who ironically never considered herself creative, and then one day the ‘ol proverbial light bulb went off.  Her love for mixing and matching colors, patterns and decorating had manifested itself into daydreaming of color swatches, textiles and room arrangements.  That passion and excitement grew and soon it was pure enjoyment as she worked with friends and clients to select color pallets, accessories, furniture and arrange spaces.  Finally she understood the saying “if you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life” and so in 2008 Color Vision LLC was born.  For more information, you can email Raynee at yourcolorvision@gmail.com.

For more great tips and ideas, check out her blog at www.yourcolorvision.wordpress.com.

Wedding Vows the 2nd Time Around

Lately, my husband and I have been talking about renewing our wedding vows next year.  When we got married, we did it Vegas Style!  Well, although the idea of a cheap, quickie wedding appealed to us at the time both time wise and financially, we have begun to regret the fact that we didn’t involve our children.  I have been reading up a bit about second time around wedding ceremonies and blended family wedding vows and thought that I would share a bit of the information I have discovered with our TMF readers.

If you are thinking about having a blended family ceremony, it is important to honor each other’s children.   Every situation is of course unique and delicate but these children will become an integral part of your new life and it is important to acknowledge and include them.   With that, also acknowledging to yourself that your spouse and his/her children were “one” before you came along and that your vows do not circumvent the relationship they have with their children will help you to understand and bond with your step-children.

Here are a few sample second time around wedding vows (courtesy of www.idotaketwo.com):

Bride & Groom

“God has given us a second chance at happiness.  I come today to give you my love, to give you my heart and my hope for our future together.  I promise to bring you joy, to be at home with your spirit and to learn to love you m ore each day, through all the days of our lives.   My love for you is endless and eternal.”

“I am proud to marry you this day.  I promise to wipe away your tears with my laughter and your pain with caring and compassion.  Together we will wipe clean the old canvases of our lives, and let God, with His amazing artistic talent, fill them with new color, harmony and beauty.  I give myself to you completely, and I promise to love you always, from this day forward.”

Vows Including Children

After the wedding vows are recited by the bride and groom, the children will now repeat “We do” after each of these questions:

“And now, (children’s names) do you promise to love and respect your parent’s new husband/wife?  Do you promise to support their marriage and new family?  Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them and support them in your new life together?”

Note:  Obviously, if the children are having are having a hard time accepting your new marriage or are showing signs of resistance, then I would not include them in the “vows” process.  Each individual family has a different set of dynamics going on.  But certainly, do not force them if they are uncomfortable.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these vows or if you would like to share vows that you have already taken, feel free to comment, we would love to hear from you.

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Something for Everyone - Spring 2010 Fashion Trends

By Guest Blogger: Karen Boggs

Something for everyone! is not just a cliché’ in describing fashion trends for Spring 2010.  Styles will be based on romantic, nautical, tribal and military themes.  A variety of colors will enhance these themes - subdued pastels in the romantic pieces will provide the essence of elegance and femininity, whereas, bright yellows with green undertones will be popular with the military and tribal offerings.

Turquoise, a favorite of many women, will make a come back this summer. Shade of pinks, from cotton candy to hot pink will be popular in clothes as well as jewelry and purses. The combination of white and black always provides a classic, timeless look that works for everyone.

Soft ruffles, lace, and draping fabric will be seen in the romantic pieces. Strategically placed see through material will add hints of sexiness to dresses and tops.  Prints, including patterned, floral and stripes will be prevalent in skirts and pants this spring.

“Boyfriend” blazers will continue to be popular through the warmer months. These are slightly oversized jackets with rolled up sleeves. Bright blazers, in colors such as turquoise and tangerine, can add punch to an existing outfit.  One-piece jumpsuits will provide a fun, playful alternative to a traditional pant/top outfit.  Pants, shorts, skirts and jeans will be offered with higher waists this season. Ripped, shredded and patched jeans will be making a comeback, whether a welcomed one, remains to be seen.

If you want to add several pieces of jewelry to update your look, think in terms of chunky chains, bangles and long, layered necklaces.  Metallics continue to play a big part in accessories this year. Brightly colored, bold bags will be major components in completing an outfit this spring. Quilted classics and tailored clutches will remain favorite styles for many.

Light and neutral colored shoes in tans and beiges will abound this season. If you prefer color, greens and blues will be good alternatives for you. Cork and rope covered heels will provide interesting accents to the popular wedge shoes. Heavier sandals, often including a thick ankle strap collar, will be the rage. However, keep in mind, these styles do not elongate the leg line and can make calves and ankles appear heavier. As you know, all trends are not for everyone. Real style is about finding clothes that fit and flatter your shape-stamping them with your individual flair and wearing them with confidence.

Happy Spring!

About Karen Boggs

Helping women determine the best styles for their shape and size is the goal of style consultant, Karen Boggs.  Founder of Renew You, LLC, Boggs works with clients through one-on-one shopping sessions and closet consultations. Along with corporate training on professional dress in  the workplace, she enjoys speaking to various women’s groups. Boggs has contributed to a variety of publications including Indianapolis Woman and Enjoy! For more information please visit www.renewyoustyle.com.

Scrumptious Peanut Butter Pie

I tried this pie the other day and I loved it!!!

Had to share with our readers so here you go!  Enjoy.

Peanut Butter Pie

Ingredients:

3/4 cup of peanut butter
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
1 carton (8 oz.) frozen whipped toopping, thawed
1 graham cracker crust (9 in.)

In a large bowl, beat the peanut butter, cream cheese and confectioners’ sugar until smooth.  Fold in whipped topping; pour into prepared crust.  Sprinkle with chocolate shavings or chopped peanuts if preferred.  Chill until serving.  Refrigerate leftovers.

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Bridal Planning Inspiration for Newlyweds and Newlyweds Becoming a Blended Family

It’s spring again, and as the flowers start to bloom, so will the season for wedded bliss.  As you look forward to what will be one of the happiest days of your life, here is some inspiration for you as you prepare for your fantasy come true.

Invitations - The first glance that your guests see of your wedding style is of your invitations.  Order your invitations at least 4 - 6 months before the wedding.  Individualize your invitations with a luxe look.  Luxurious Wedding Invitations offer lovely couture invitations to wow your guest list.  A bride-to-be can memorialize a loved one, represent and include her blended family, or pet by having a custom cameo brooch added to their wedding invitations.  The style is luxe.  The sentiment is priceless!

Bridal Shower Favors - Wrapped Kreations offer a unique way to personalize your bridal shower, or any special event.  These favors are custom made with your flavor, and are a treasure for your special moment.

Bouquets - Feathers add a couture touch to any bouquet.  A monochromatic bouquet in a bright and intense shade of your favorite color adds drama and intensity for the glam bride, or in all white for the traditional bride.  A Hand-tied bouquet of calla lilies, or one long stem of an orchid are an elegant way to express your signature style on your wedding day.  Colorful bouquets are a sheer elegant way for a bride-to-be with a blended family, or for any bride wanting to honor a lost loved one, to incorporate birth month colors of that family member(s).  With a monochromatic bouquet, you may consider using rhinestones or swarovski crystals placed on your flower petals, or decorating the stem of your hand-tied bouquet, in each birthstone color to welcome and include new family ties or old memories, while adding sparkle.  The style is unique.  The sentiment is unforgettable!

Tablescapes - For the frugal, but chic, a wonderful way to dress the tables at your reception site is to place varying sizes of all white pillar candles in the center of the table.  Alternatively, the use of empty or water filled box or cylinder shaped vases simply topped with a beautiful floral arrangement surrounded by tea light candles on top of mirrored coasters adds sophistication to the ambience.  For the fabulous, elevated, or hanging (from the ceiling) floral or manzanita branch arrangements with or without feathers dripping with crystals or pearls definitely add flair and fabulousness.  For the dramatic and couture look, some tables for rent are made to allow for a tablescape of varying candles, flowers, manzanita branches, and even small fire pits containing treated glass to strategically be placed and safely secured inside the center of the table for a dramatic and couture look.

Custom Desserts and Signature Drinks - For a custom touch, ask your caterer or bar matron if they’d allow you to work with them to make up your own ice cream, gelato or signature drink.  Do this by combining individual favorite flavors of the wedding couple.  Try three different choices, and select the one you both love the best.  Or have them made in your wedding colors.  Have them name it after you.

Wishing you LIFE and LOVE,

Wanda Williamson

This post was written by guest blogger, Wanda Williamson, wife, stepmom, wedding planner (who specializes in second chance wedding celebrations) and owner of  Sheer Elegant Events.

Easy Ways to Spring Up Your Space

Ahh Spring is in the air…or at least upon us so says the calendar.  Either way it’s time to finally take down the holiday wreath and pack away the holiday greeting cards.  Sure there still may be some snow on the ground, but without a doubt we’re rounding the bend and headed for Spring!

Not sure how to change gears?  Not to worry.  Here are a few easy ways to Spring Up your space:

New welcome mat; new beginning

Your current welcome mat probably at this point isn’t making anyone feel too welcome.  If you’ve endured the brutal winter this season it’s probably safe to say that your welcome mat has too.  Switch it out for a new, fresh one.  Have fun with it.  Try one that reflects the ushering in of the new season.  Check these out at Cost Plus World Market.

New bathroom mat/shower curtain; new look

Changing these two things can change the entire look of your bathroom. Try it and see!  If you’re anything like me when you find something you like you tend to hang on to it, but take a look around this season at some of the latest designs.  You’re sure to find something that matches your taste and budget.  Take a look at Bed Bath & Beyond to get some ideas.

Add color; add style

Change up the pillows on your couch and bed.  Think bright colors like oranges and greens or more muted tones like pastel blues, purples and yellows depending upon your color scheme (3 should do the trick).  It’s a subtle change that can make a big difference in freshening up your space. Check out CB2 this season for some fresh and modern ideas.

Add flowers; add life

What better way to signal that Spring is here than with flowers.  The most common areas such as the dining room and kitchen table are obvious, but don’t forget the bathroom counter and your home office too.  Try calla lilies and tulips, Spring favorites.

In addition, for you expecting mommies out there that have more to consider than just the common areas in your home; here’s a helpful site to assist in preparing your baby’s room this Spring.  Think “green” and not just pink and blue as you welcome your new little addition.  Click here for some great ideas.

Need ideas on how to style your baby’s room?

These days, you can find very hip and stylish bedding and accessories.  The pinks and blues are old staples that will always be available, but don’t be afraid to get a little creative with your baby’s room.  Baby accessories have come a long way.  If you don’t see what you like in the various retailers, check online to broaden your options.  Visit babysinstyle.com for some creative ideas.

Whether you’re sprucing up your space with a few of the ideas above or preparing a new room for baby, have fun with it.  Develop your own personal decorating style and search for what you really want.  With store front retailers and the internet there’s no need to settle for home decor that you don’t love. Remember, this is your home; your haven.  Love it!

Bonus Tip: Have a favorite holiday greeting card that includes a picture of your family or friends?  Cut around the picture and frame it.  That way you can enjoy it all year long!

Happy Spring!

Color Vision

Raynée Crowe, an interior decorating consultant, ironically never considered herself creative and then one day the ‘ol proverbial light bulb went off.  Her love for mixing and matching colors, patterns and decorating had manifested itself into daydreaming of color swatches, textiles and room arrangements.  That passion and excitement grew and soon it was pure enjoyment as she worked with friends and clients to select color pallets, accessories, furniture and arrange spaces.  Finally she understood the saying “if you do what you love you’ll never work a day in your life” and so in 2008 Color Vision LLC was born.  For more information, you can email Raynee at yourcolorvision@gmail.com.

Getting the Word Out About Your Big Day!

Wedding Evite

Guest blogger and awesome event planner, Lynn Maxwell of XL Events, offers some great alternatives to traditional wedding invitations below.  Check them out!

You have already picked out this Spring and Summer’s most sought after wedding color combination and have found a great way to include your kids and your soon to be step-children in all of the wedding planning; what’s next?  Getting the word out about your big day.  Traditionally, couples will find awesomely fancy and expensive stationary to send out to their loved ones, but what if you have “been there done that” and do not want to go back?  What if you just want something simple, something easy, and something that is not going to take away from your wedding budget?  I have the answer.  With the Internet being the “it” way of communications nowadays, it is extremely simple to construct a fancy little email about the day of your nuptials; think about it you already have most of your contacts in your in your address book and most webhosting sites like Yahoo, AOL, Gmail, and MSN (or Hotmail) already have their own stationery built right into the email settings. Take a browse through what they have and you may find something suitable for your email invite or if you cannot find what you are looking for, you can always peruse “free email stationery” on Google.

Another fun little way to get the word out about your day is to grab one of those social networking websites like Facebook or Twitter and begin taking your friends, family and loved ones through your planning phase; they will be sure to appreciate the final results of your hard work once they arrive on your set date.

Lastly, and my personal favorite, you can set up a website to document everything if you don’t have the time to Facebook or Tweet everything you are doing?  OMG….a website?  No worries, it is not as hard to set one up than you think.  Many wedding sites like, The Knot, will help you set one up.  Want something original?  That is easy as well; sign up on places like webs.com, for free and they will walk you through the entire process of setting up your site.  After you are done, you will be able to load pictures, add content and even be able to have the visitors of your site RSVP to your invitation.  This will not only save money on stamps, time at the post office and time making sure the printer gets every single detail right on your invites, but you will also be going green.  You like the last idea, but you really do not have the time, creativity, or patience to do something of that caliber, no fear, XL Events, LLC can help.

Final Thoughts:  Keep everything as simple as you possibly can.  If you would like to incorporate more than one of the above ideas, then go for it. Your guests will be waiting as anxiously as you are for your magical day to roll around.

Happy Planning!

Lynn Maxwell

XL Events, LLC

xleventsllc@yahoo.com

Next Page »