Wedding Vows the 2nd Time Around

Lately, my husband and I have been talking about renewing our wedding vows next year.  When we got married, we did it Vegas Style!  Well, although the idea of a cheap, quickie wedding appealed to us at the time both time wise and financially, we have begun to regret the fact that we didn’t involve our children.  I have been reading up a bit about second time around wedding ceremonies and blended family wedding vows and thought that I would share a bit of the information I have discovered with our TMF readers.

If you are thinking about having a blended family ceremony, it is important to honor each other’s children.   Every situation is of course unique and delicate but these children will become an integral part of your new life and it is important to acknowledge and include them.   With that, also acknowledging to yourself that your spouse and his/her children were “one” before you came along and that your vows do not circumvent the relationship they have with their children will help you to understand and bond with your step-children.

Here are a few sample second time around wedding vows (courtesy of www.idotaketwo.com):

Bride & Groom

“God has given us a second chance at happiness.  I come today to give you my love, to give you my heart and my hope for our future together.  I promise to bring you joy, to be at home with your spirit and to learn to love you m ore each day, through all the days of our lives.   My love for you is endless and eternal.”

“I am proud to marry you this day.  I promise to wipe away your tears with my laughter and your pain with caring and compassion.  Together we will wipe clean the old canvases of our lives, and let God, with His amazing artistic talent, fill them with new color, harmony and beauty.  I give myself to you completely, and I promise to love you always, from this day forward.”

Vows Including Children

After the wedding vows are recited by the bride and groom, the children will now repeat “We do” after each of these questions:

“And now, (children’s names) do you promise to love and respect your parent’s new husband/wife?  Do you promise to support their marriage and new family?  Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them and support them in your new life together?”

Note:  Obviously, if the children are having are having a hard time accepting your new marriage or are showing signs of resistance, then I would not include them in the “vows” process.  Each individual family has a different set of dynamics going on.  But certainly, do not force them if they are uncomfortable.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these vows or if you would like to share vows that you have already taken, feel free to comment, we would love to hear from you.

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Bridal Planning Inspiration for Newlyweds and Newlyweds Becoming a Blended Family

It’s spring again, and as the flowers start to bloom, so will the season for wedded bliss.  As you look forward to what will be one of the happiest days of your life, here is some inspiration for you as you prepare for your fantasy come true.

Invitations - The first glance that your guests see of your wedding style is of your invitations.  Order your invitations at least 4 - 6 months before the wedding.  Individualize your invitations with a luxe look.  Luxurious Wedding Invitations offer lovely couture invitations to wow your guest list.  A bride-to-be can memorialize a loved one, represent and include her blended family, or pet by having a custom cameo brooch added to their wedding invitations.  The style is luxe.  The sentiment is priceless!

Bridal Shower Favors - Wrapped Kreations offer a unique way to personalize your bridal shower, or any special event.  These favors are custom made with your flavor, and are a treasure for your special moment.

Bouquets - Feathers add a couture touch to any bouquet.  A monochromatic bouquet in a bright and intense shade of your favorite color adds drama and intensity for the glam bride, or in all white for the traditional bride.  A Hand-tied bouquet of calla lilies, or one long stem of an orchid are an elegant way to express your signature style on your wedding day.  Colorful bouquets are a sheer elegant way for a bride-to-be with a blended family, or for any bride wanting to honor a lost loved one, to incorporate birth month colors of that family member(s).  With a monochromatic bouquet, you may consider using rhinestones or swarovski crystals placed on your flower petals, or decorating the stem of your hand-tied bouquet, in each birthstone color to welcome and include new family ties or old memories, while adding sparkle.  The style is unique.  The sentiment is unforgettable!

Tablescapes - For the frugal, but chic, a wonderful way to dress the tables at your reception site is to place varying sizes of all white pillar candles in the center of the table.  Alternatively, the use of empty or water filled box or cylinder shaped vases simply topped with a beautiful floral arrangement surrounded by tea light candles on top of mirrored coasters adds sophistication to the ambience.  For the fabulous, elevated, or hanging (from the ceiling) floral or manzanita branch arrangements with or without feathers dripping with crystals or pearls definitely add flair and fabulousness.  For the dramatic and couture look, some tables for rent are made to allow for a tablescape of varying candles, flowers, manzanita branches, and even small fire pits containing treated glass to strategically be placed and safely secured inside the center of the table for a dramatic and couture look.

Custom Desserts and Signature Drinks - For a custom touch, ask your caterer or bar matron if they’d allow you to work with them to make up your own ice cream, gelato or signature drink.  Do this by combining individual favorite flavors of the wedding couple.  Try three different choices, and select the one you both love the best.  Or have them made in your wedding colors.  Have them name it after you.

Wishing you LIFE and LOVE,

Wanda Williamson

This post was written by guest blogger, Wanda Williamson, wife, stepmom, wedding planner (who specializes in second chance wedding celebrations) and owner of  Sheer Elegant Events.

Getting the Word Out About Your Big Day!

Wedding Evite

Guest blogger and awesome event planner, Lynn Maxwell of XL Events, offers some great alternatives to traditional wedding invitations below.  Check them out!

You have already picked out this Spring and Summer’s most sought after wedding color combination and have found a great way to include your kids and your soon to be step-children in all of the wedding planning; what’s next?  Getting the word out about your big day.  Traditionally, couples will find awesomely fancy and expensive stationary to send out to their loved ones, but what if you have “been there done that” and do not want to go back?  What if you just want something simple, something easy, and something that is not going to take away from your wedding budget?  I have the answer.  With the Internet being the “it” way of communications nowadays, it is extremely simple to construct a fancy little email about the day of your nuptials; think about it you already have most of your contacts in your in your address book and most webhosting sites like Yahoo, AOL, Gmail, and MSN (or Hotmail) already have their own stationery built right into the email settings. Take a browse through what they have and you may find something suitable for your email invite or if you cannot find what you are looking for, you can always peruse “free email stationery” on Google.

Another fun little way to get the word out about your day is to grab one of those social networking websites like Facebook or Twitter and begin taking your friends, family and loved ones through your planning phase; they will be sure to appreciate the final results of your hard work once they arrive on your set date.

Lastly, and my personal favorite, you can set up a website to document everything if you don’t have the time to Facebook or Tweet everything you are doing?  OMG….a website?  No worries, it is not as hard to set one up than you think.  Many wedding sites like, The Knot, will help you set one up.  Want something original?  That is easy as well; sign up on places like webs.com, for free and they will walk you through the entire process of setting up your site.  After you are done, you will be able to load pictures, add content and even be able to have the visitors of your site RSVP to your invitation.  This will not only save money on stamps, time at the post office and time making sure the printer gets every single detail right on your invites, but you will also be going green.  You like the last idea, but you really do not have the time, creativity, or patience to do something of that caliber, no fear, XL Events, LLC can help.

Final Thoughts:  Keep everything as simple as you possibly can.  If you would like to incorporate more than one of the above ideas, then go for it. Your guests will be waiting as anxiously as you are for your magical day to roll around.

Happy Planning!

Lynn Maxwell

XL Events, LLC

xleventsllc@yahoo.com

Spring Into Your Wedding Colors for the Summer

So he’s popped the question and now the race is on to get everything done before that magical day of marital bliss; but wait where do you start?  There so much to do?  The first thing my girlfriends and I use to think of is, “What would be your colors?”  Do you choose his favorite color and your favorite color to collaborate?  What if his favorite color is orange and yours is magenta?  Well worry no more; I have some of the most popular color combinations for Spring / Summer 2010:

• Teal and Coral
• Vintage Purple and Sky Blue
• Emerald Green and Cream
• Mauve and Wine
• Lilac and Sky Blue
• Win and Blush Pink
• Sky Blue and Light Yellow
• Mocha and Blush Pink
• Warm Gray and any Pink, Coral, Blue or Purple
• Olive and Mauve
• Mint and Vintage Purple

Although these are some of the most popular colors for the early part of our new decade, it is important to incorporate a personal style that is shared with both of your new families so why not get the children involved. Consider the fact that this is likely a difficult time for the children and whenever possible, get them involved in the wedding plans to make them feel part of the celebration. My suggestion, make a game of it.  When everyone is together, grab the top three color combination from the list above (please feel free to add or take away from the list), make sure the colors are separate from each other -making it six colors–, put the different options in a hat or basket and have the children draw until empty, and stand next to each other with their different colors.  Mix and match the children and the colors until a combination is decided.  It’s fun for the children, makes them feel like their opinion matters and makes them feel as if they won’t be left out because mom or dad is getting married.

Additionally, it’s important to realize that there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to planning a second chance wedding. If you and your fiancé have daughters that are relatively the same age and you’re having a difficult time deciding who will be the flower girl, just have two flower girls. The same holds true for the ring bearer. Allow one son to carry one ring and the other son to carry the other. Create your own rituals so that everyone feels part of the wedding celebration and start your life out with an effort to be a cohesive unit. Finally, keep in mind the final decision is yours, but the kids will enjoy and appreciate that you have thought enough of them to include them in on this important decision.

Happy Planning!

Lynn Maxwell

XL Events, LLC

Lynn Maxwell, a single mother of one, is the Event Director of XL Events, LLC; an event planning company located in the Indianapolis area. She has expertise in planning spectacular events, including wedding receptions, concerts, poetry events and more. She XL’s in making your events happen! For more information, please send an email to xleventsllc@yahoo.com.

Before You Say I Do - Take Two

You are on cloud 9 because the man that you’ve been dating for quite some time now has just popped the question, and you said yes! Being that this may be the second time around for either you or your partner or both, deciding on a date, location, the perfect dress and the guest list are only a few of your first steps. Below are some tips on what you should do right after you say yes to the man of your dreams.

Schedule an appointment with a stepfamily counselor

Falling in love is the easy part. What you and your fiance need to learn is how to stay that way. No matter how much in love you are, if you don’t adequately prepare for the second time around, your marriage and family will likely fail. A stepfamily counselor will help you work on things like co-parenting plans, communication, couple strength and more. And trust me, you’ll need some guidance as a stepfamily marriage comes equipped with different challenges than a first marriage. Discuss these things AHEAD of time and give your marriage a better chance at survival.

Discuss your parenting styles

Because one or both of you are entering into the marriage with kids, it is crucial that you talk about parenting styles, including discipline. For example, one of you might be completely opposed to the kids eating in their rooms, but the other might not have a problem with it. How will you resolve such issues before being confronted with them? It is much easier to discuss these things before they happen as opposed to doing so in the heat of the moment.

Talk about finances

Every couple should discuss finances before saying I do, but it is especially important for the remarried coupled with children. Why? Because outside obligations will undoubtedly affect your household. Will you keep your finances separate or join forces? How will you handle it when an ex-spouse requests something extra outside of child support?

Tell the kids

Sit down with the kids and explain to them what’s going on. Express how much you want them to be part of the wedding festivities and the newly formed family. Explain ahead of time that there will be some changes. For example, stepmom or stepdad will be moving in with us after the wedding. You’ll also want to sit down with your respective children individually to explain what the marriage will mean for them.

Hire a wedding planner!!!

Clearly you already have so much to do and think about before you even get to the wedding planning stage. As such, I cannot stress enough how much hiring a wedding planner will help. Trust me, while you’re worrying about the complicated guest list, how your kids and/or his kids will behave, whether or not you should invite the ex…your wedding planner will be concentrating on the intimate details of YOUR day! She will minimize the stress so you are actually able to enjoy your timeless affair.

Overall, you are entering into what can be a very exciting and rewarding time in your lives if handled properly. Remember a remarriage is not like a first marriage and discussing the unique challenges that remarried couples face, ahead of time, will give your marriage the best chance at succeeding.