Preventing or Promoting Peace in Your Modern Family

Living in a nuclear/traditional family has its own ups, downs and issues.  So, one can only imagine that living in a modern/blended family will be challenging at best.  With that being said, I ask the question — Are you doing everything in your power to promote peace in your unit?  Or, are you preventing it?

The Proverbial Ex-Wife

With divorce comes a sense of loss.  Ex-wives often struggle with power, loyalty and control over issues involving their own emotions alongside having to deal with the loss their children are also facing.  In the beginning, the challenges they face are enormous.  At times, after the divorce, ex-wives find themselves not only overwhelmed due to issues like finance control, sharing the children at different locations, or suddenly being alone and raising children as a single parent (if she is awarded custody).  These emotions tend to intensify if her ex-spouse remarries and she then begins to mark her territory; expressing loudly her position that SHE is the mom.   These fears and real emotions can lead to feelings of hopelessness and frustration which in turn can get bottled up and present themselves in a way that prevents peace within her modern family.

The Proverbial Wife/Step-mom

Ah…the “new” wife!  You walk into a new marriage with instant children (if you have none of your own).  Sometimes, literally, you walk into the ex-wife’s old home, you sit on her furniture and you stare at her old 4 walls.  You have great expectations of going into your new life with hopes that your step-children will adore you and his ex-wife won’t have any reason to not appreciate you and your presence because you can get along with anyone, so why should your husband’s ex-wife be any different? — WRONG!  “New” wives often make the mistake of expecting too much too soon.  They step in and try to “be all and do all” for everyone with the expectation that everyone must feel the same way you do.  The proverbial new step-mom sometimes even pushes herself upon her step-children and into their lives full force.  At times, she even intervenes with problems that only her husband and his ex-wife should handle.  She expects the ex-wife to accept her but does not understand that this is an unrealistic approach and it doesn’t work.  Therefore, she then decides to stake her territory and, at times, can become destructive when it comes to issues that may arise in her new modern family. She makes these issues about “her” instead of consigning them to their rightful owner (i.e., the children, the ex-wife or her husband), and by doing so, she prevents peace within her unit.

Blending a family and maintaining happiness within it gives new definition to the word “modern.”  It takes patience, consideration, a certain level of  trust, realistic expectations on both sides of the fence and parents who are committed to continue to provide a healthy and happy family environment for their children.  Does this mean everything will always be “hunky dorey” all of the time and new issues will never arise?  Absolutely not!  However, being proactive in providing the best environment for your children should be one of the first items on your priority list.  Promoting peace is essential, but in order to do so,  the wife/step-mom  have to be patient in their new roles.  Don’t jump in “gun ho.”  If you are an ex-wife, allow yourself to deal with any unresolved conflicts and emotions you may be holding on to, learn to move past them and let them go.   What about the man in the middle some of you might ask?  Well, that subject alone will be an article all to itself.

Granted, there are those families where one party will make the decision to avoid promoting peace at all costs.  If that is the case, continue to integrate your own peace, in your own home.  I will admit, the transition from divorce is one of the toughest issues I personally have ever dealt with as a former ex-wife.  As hard as I ever tried to avoid the pitfalls  many ex-wives face, I still made my share of mistakes.  Now, in another chapter of my life, being a wife/step-mom, I had to explore a whole new facet of life altogether.  I have learned that I can do my part in promoting peace by doing my personal best to make a great impression on my step-daughter and my children.  How you promote or prevent peace, and what you accomplish during the process, is very important and will either have a negative or positive effect on your modern family.  Which one will you choose?

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Express Your Love Through Music

I love music! It is clearly one of the most powerful tools for expression. There’s just something about a great song that has the ability to touch my soul. It touches it in a way that makes me truly feel and relate to what the artist is trying to express. Some of my favorite artists are Rascal Flats, Bonnie Rait, Alicia Keys, Sam Cooke, Amel Larrieux, Michael Jackson and countless others.

Rascal Flats song, What Hurts the Most, reminds me that I never want to be in a position of regret with my husband. I never want to allow the drama to infiltrate our marriage in such a way that I neglect to say the things that I’ve wanted to say and that I know he needs to hear. Below is the course.

What hurts the most is being so close; having so much to say, but watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.

And Michael Jackson’s, Lady in my Life, is a song that reminds me of how I want to continue loving my husband.

Baby through the years even when we’re old and gray I will love you more each day cause you will always be the lady (man) in my life.

Whether that emotion is pain, happiness, love or lust, music is a great form of communication. It allows couples to express themselves when they are at a loss for words and need to apologize for something. It also another great exercise for couples to use as yet another way to remind the other of their love for him or her. You can play the song that you first kissed to, the song that you first danced to at your wedding, or the song that just reminds you of how you feel for your spouse. All are great ways to remind your spouse just how much he or she means to you, are bound to bring back some sweet memories and even help create some new ones.

Additionally, music has the ability to allow couples who have lost the connection to reconnect or to strengthen an existing connection. As a matter of fact, a homework assignment that I give to my clients who are either stuck in the drama and need to be reminded to focus on them, or who just need to express the inexpressible, is a music exercise. They are instructed to choose a song that explains how they feel about their mate. Then they play the song for him or her and explain why they chose it. Couples often times get very emotional during this exercise because music evokes emotion in such a way that the person you’re expressing yourself to truly understands. If both parties are committed to the exercise, it is an excellent way to build couple strength.

So play your favorite love song for your hubby or wife. Get him or her in the mood with the Isley Brother’s song, In Between the Sheets, or let him or her know that You’ll Love Him Like You’ll Never See Him Again, by Alicia Keys. No matter what the reason or just for no reason at all, go and express yourself.

Life After Divorce

There is no easy answer to divorce.  Every family that experiences divorce experiences pain, grief, anger, fear, guilt and especially feelings of sheer sadness.

If you have suddenly been confronted with single parenthood as a result of a divorce, it is a crucial time for you to realize that you must accept change as best you can and move toward revitalization of you and your children’s lives.  However, that is always easier said than done.  An important factor to look for and to seek out during this crucial time is a good support system.  An example can be your church pastor or group, a private professional counselor trained to handle these issues, a good friend or even members of your own family.  You will need help getting acclimated to your new position and, at times, this can be relatively hard to handle alone while you are going through all the emotional changes divorce can bring.

Another important factor to apply is positivity.  Being positive will help during challenging times.  Again, you might say, “easier said than done.”  I agree.  However, focusing on the negative aspects of your situation gets you where?  Exactly….. absolutely no where!  Not to mention, constant negativity makes a child’s transition in divorce ten times as hard to trudge through.  First, they have to deal with what some have compared to a “death” blow to their entire existence with their parents divorcing so in fact, negativity (i.e., involving them in grown folks business or disparagement of your ex-spouse, etc.) during this time only causes them further pain.

If you are in a new remarriage and trying to reinvent and reinvigorate your family, it is so important to communicate with your children about the changes taking place in their lives.  Children are smart and know when things have gone awry in their lives.  They are still in a very fragile acceptance mode with a new remarriage and need stability and lots of care.  Predictability fosters security for children.  Not allowing their whole life to change because of your divorce is crucial.  Keep some sense of normalcy.  Keep them in the same activities, if you can.  Communicate with them about their feelings and the changes taking place around them.  By doing so, you are teaching them how to handle adversity and protecting and preparing them for further changes that may arise in the future.  We often think that if we alter our children’s reality that we are saving them from hurt and pain.  As I said above, children are very intuitive human beings. Not only that, but “protecting” them from reality is not properly preparing them for life.

As I mentioned above, the main component and most integral part of reinvigorating your family is support.  Co-parenting first and supporting your children together will help them accept the changes being made in a “positive” way.  As we often state here at Today’s Modern Family, there are never “ex-parents” only “ex-spouses.”  Another key component is committing to co-parenting with your ex-spouse on a healthy level so as to not interrupt your child’s relationship with the other parent.  In other words, the drama between the two of you shouldn’t have to be your child’s drama nor should he/she have to carry that load on their shoulders.  They want to love both parents and have the right to do so.  Again, this is where being positive plays a major role.  In other words, being good co-parents makes the road your children will have to travel a little less bumpy.

If you are living in a new step-family or are about to embark on the path of step-parenthood, keep in mind that your expectations must be in line with the reality of your new position and situation.  The children involved do not have to fall in love with you right away and probably won’t.  On the other hand, the same holds true for you and you are not a bad step-parent if you don’t love your step-child right away.  That relationship will build over time.  If you are a bio-parent, allow your child the opportunity to learn about his/her step-parent on their own terms.  Do not compete.  Do not force your opinions on your children.  Doing so,  will allow you to open the door for your children to make his/her own choices and form their own individual opinions.  That is what you would teach them otherwise if you were still married and in your nuclear family and what you would want in return from your ex-spouse, correct?  Your choices will have a direct effect on the positive or negative energy that your child brings into their new found life as a stepchild.

Children need to feel that they are a part of each of their parents and that means their parents’ families.  Accepting that your own feelings and views about your ex-spouse  or his/her new partner are just that…YOUR feelings and views.  Not forcing them and making them issues for your children only benefit them.  It allows them the freedom of expressing their own feelings and emotions, and allows them to feel validated.

By nurturing not only your children but yourself as well, during this time, you will be setting a clear example of what it means to effectively co-parent and to reinvent and reinvigorate your new life.

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Finding Your Passion: Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal!

The Amazing Paula Deen

Have you ever thought about what would happen if you could end up living your dreams and fulfilling your true passion in life?  Finding your individual purpose in life is really about searching for what gives you meaning.  Sure, our children, family and spouses give us an exemplified meaning, but often times, as individuals, we find ourselves not being in tune with our true beings, with who we really are.  We feel like a part of our very existence hasn’t come to fruition or full-circle.  With that being said, I ask you readers…”What are you waiting for?”

One of the biggest reasons people do not step out and explore their passion in life is out of fear of failure of the unknown.   My answer to that is this:  “Expect nothing and look forward to everything!” Allowing fear to shut you down will force you to leave behind your true passions.  Step out on faith!  Do not allow yourself to continue to make excuses for not following your dream in life.  There will never be enough time or you will never have enough money if you wait on these things to arrive on your doorstep.

One inspirational story that always reacquaints me with my own personal passion is that of Food Network star Paula Deen.  Paula is one of my silent heroes.  After being newly divorced after a 20 something year marriage, she started her own small business at the age of 40.  She had no money in the bank, $200 her ex-husband handed her and at that point she decided to put her talents to work.  She enlisted her resources (her sons and their girlfriends and her love of cooking) and the rest is history.  She became a full-blown success.  Oh, and did I mention that she also had full-blown agoraphobia to overcome as well during all of this?  What an example of following life’s passion and making it a dream come true despite your fears!

The most important part of finding your passion and living life to the fullest is the path and journey the search takes you on.  As my good friend, author and life coach, Doreen Rainey, often says…”Life is not a dress rehearsal.”  Find good people who support you.  No one person wants to live their passion alone.  Sharing your passion and the journey will take you toward endless possibilities.  What about the unknown you ask?  Let’s face it, every person lives with a little fear in life.  It’s perfectly normal.  The answer is how we move past those fears, accept them for what they are and decide  not to spend excess time stagnating the process by allowing those fears to paralyze us. It is then that we can successfully achieve our life’s passion.

If you knew your life could be transformed would you go for it?  When you find your life passion, what some would think of as work, to you, is the best investment you will ever make.  Your staying up late, working through your lunch hours, getting up extra early in the morning to work on things and devoting numerous leisure hours to your dream and realizing your achievement is no longer a possibility but a probability, is when you will find a unique fulfillment like no other.  Your dress rehearsal has become, “Lights, Camera and ACTION.”

Remember, if you never put in the effort to find your true passion and you allow fear to disseminate your imagination, you will not only stagnate your dreams, but also your life.   Curtain closed.

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Creating the Illusion of an Hourglass Shape by Karen Boggs

Creating the illusion of an hourglass shape is the biggest step you can take in obtaining your most attractive look. This is achieved by keeping your top and bottom in proportion and having clothes cinched in, at least slightly, at the waist. Rather than wearing loose, shapeless clothes, look for tops and blouses with seams, darts or pin tucks that will provide you with some shape. Do not assume these styles will be uncomfortable. As long as they are not too tight, they should work well even for the most active woman.  An easy suggestion – hold your top or blouse up on the hanger – if it is perfectly square, it is not going to provide your most flattering look. However, a top with some shape built in, will be a great choice!  A small amount of lycra or spandex in the material provides structure, which can be a plus. Avoid thin material, as it tends to be clingy and can emphasize those places you don’t want noticed.

If you want to appear thinner, consider wearing clothes which will elongate the neckline.  These include tops and dresses that show some skin at the neck; for instance, V-necks, scooped out necklines and blouses with several of the top buttons left open. Avoid turtlenecks and tops that come up close to the neckline -these tend to cut the neck in half and can make you appear heavier than you are. Also, to elongate the neckline, avoid short and choker style necklaces -opt for ones with a little more length.

When putting together an outfit, concentrate on creating ONE focal point. Whatever the eye is drawn to will be a focal point – such as shiny material, bright colors, large print and even bold pieces of jewelry.  You do not want to put one of these focal points on your least favorite feature, for obvious reasons. Since a color change anywhere on your body will draw attention, do not have these changes meet at your largest area. A different colored top and bottom should meet either slightly above or below that point.

Too many focal points create a distraction and end up competing against one another. Keep this in mind when it comes to your accessories as well. If you are wearing a striking piece of jewelry, it is best to downplay the other pieces you are wearing.  Be sure and keep your accessories like belts, purses and jewelry in proportion with your size. A larger woman can carry off larger bags and bolder jewelry, whereas, a small framed, petite woman may look overwhelmed with accessories that are too large for her.

Remember, the lines, colors, textures and patterns of all your clothes create an illusion.  Strive to use these illusions to your best interest…sending out the impressions YOU choose to send!

About Karen Boggs

Helping women determine the best styles for their shape and size is the goal of style consultant, Karen Boggs.  Founder of Renew You, LLC, Boggs works with clients through one-on-one shopping sessions and closet consultations. Along with corporate training on professional dress in  the workplace, she enjoys speaking to various women’s groups. Boggs has contributed to a variety of publications including Indianapolis Woman and Enjoy! For more information please visit www.renewyoustyle.com.

Love Stories: Is Marriage Necessary?

One of our favorite writers and fellow stepmom, author of Stepmonster, Wednesday Martin, wrote an insightful article on Psychology Today about the necessity of marriage. This article provoked some stimulating conversation between my husband and I and we’d love to hear what you think regarding the question -  Is Marriage Necessary? Check out the article below and let us know what you think.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, some recent, highly-publicized non-fiction debuts are sure to get you in the mood for romance. Staying True, by Jenny Sanford, chronicles the very public breakdown of her marriage to South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, who wasn’t hiking on the Appalachian Trail after all. Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb (the subtitle of which–the Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, says it all) accuses you of being too picky and urges you to snap up that guy who’s an 8 rather than waiting for the 10. And The Politician, Andrew Young’s new, explosive tell-all about John Edwards, details his infidelity and exposes, for our lurid delectation, the operatic fights and the second family he started while his wife was struggling with cancer.

Granted, these books don’t describe the experiences of most of us. Hopefully our relationships are not all colored by messianic narcissism, bigamy, and profound cynicism about pairing off “before it’s too late.”Bottom of Form

But in their own dramatic and overblown ways, these books speak a quieter, less dramatic truth: marriage isn’t what we think it is, and it isn’t easy. Plenty of marriages aren’t doing well. While divorce rates for first marriages have settled from a high in the 1980s of around 50% to 43% according to the most recent Census, 43% is no cause for dancing in the streets. Especially when you consider that in remarriages with children, divorce rates divorce rates may be as high as 72%, according to E. Mavis Hetherington, the respected psychologist, family researcher, and author of the lauded 30-year Virginia Longitudinal Study.

Why? Much ink has been spilled and much breath has been spent and many workshop fees have been forked over in the interest of what’s wrong with marriages, and how to improve them, to make them more satisfying, equitable, sexually exciting, emotionally healthy, nurturing, and harmonious. Saving marriages is a multi-million dollar industry, and we know from first-hand experience, many of us, that it can work. Marriages, some of them, can be saved.

But Marriage probably cannot.

While marital and couples therapists tell us how to save our marriages, sociology, anthropology, and human behavioral ecology suggest that it isn’t so much married couples as Marriage itself, the institution, that’s in trouble. The problem with marriages is really the fundamental problem with Marriage: marriages are falling apart in large part because Marriage is no longer necessary. At least, not in the way it once was.

Sociologists and historians of marriage tell us that marriage was originally a business transaction of sorts, rather than an undertaking hinging on the attraction and love between two individuals. Historically in western culture, people from wealthy families were directed to marry in order to create bonds, alliances, and mutual obligations with other powerful families-or even between nations, in the case of royals. For the lower classes, marriage was a question of creating a labor force to run a farm or small business. Households were production-centered economies in which men’s and women’s labor were complementary, and kids they had together or brought together from previous unions (maternal mortality rates were high until the late 19^th century) pitched in. Marriage was necessary. And remarriage with children after the death of a spouse-a common occurrence until relatively recently-was considered the most civic-minded thing a man or woman could do. The household and by extension all of society depended on it, after all.

But by the early 20^th century, marriage historian Stephanie Coontz points out, with the notions of the individual, liberty, and equality well-established by the Enlightenment and French and American revolutions, and the subsequent rise of the love match, marriage had become a different animal entirely. Marriage morphed from institutional, in the famous formulation of sociologist Ernest Burgess, to companionate and now, something more individualistic. Marriage is now expected to nurture, satisfy and support the members of the couple in a dizzyingly comprehensive variety of ways-emotionally, sexually, psychologically.

Click here to read the rest of this story.

Live Happy iPhone App

Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor of psychology at UC Riverside and author of the book “The How of Happiness,” has teamed up with Signal Patterns, developers of psychology-based Web and mobile applications, to create the new “Live Happy” iPhone application.

This application is the first of its’ kind and will guide users through a set of daily activities to boost short and long-term happiness, including:

• Goal setting/evaluating/tracking
• Expressing gratitude directly
• Keeping a gratitude journal
• Replaying happy days
• Keeping a savoring photo album
• Envisioning your best possible self
• Nurturing relationships
• Remembering acts of kindness

Prompts in the application will also allow users to measure their happiness on a regular basis, and will help identify which happiness strategies are right for them.

The application builds on traditional happiness programs that previously had been only found in books. With the iPhone’s capabilities to e-mail and text message, write notes, and take photos, the “Live Happy” app provides a comprehensive program that engages users on an interactive platform whenever and wherever they go.

I am so excited about this application as many stepfamily members CHOOSE to get stuck by dwelling on their negative pasts instead of moving forward. Lyubomirsky’s research suggests that happiness is a choice and this new app is a perfect way to get people to make a deliberate effort to choose happiness.

The app is available on the Apple App Store for the iPhone and the iPod Touch. A free version, which supports a limited number of activities, is also available for download. The paid version includes unlimited activities and the “Ask Sonja” feature that allows people to send questions to Lyubomirsky.

Sonja Lyubomirsky

Lyubomirsky has extensively studied and written about the psychology of enduring emotions – specifically, happiness and depression. She explores how exceptionally happy people view themselves and their worlds, and how that enables them to stay upbeat and, most important, how less happy individuals can learn such happiness-enhancing habits.

This story was first published here.

Infidelity is No Longer Taboo

It’s all over the newspapers, ragmags and television.   The child of John Edwards’  mistress is his daughter.   Tiger Woods and his 14 “other women.”  We can’t seem to escape the subject of infidelity in today’s marriages.

If you have experienced infidelity in your personal relationship or marriage, you’re not alone.  Infidelity is one of the leading reasons for divorce, broken homes, domestic violence and disrupted children.

I recently read a fabulous book entitled “Why Men Cheat” written by Paul Blanchard.  In his book, the statistics concerning men in particular are stunning.  Most surveys taken put male infidelity at a figure above 60% with some studies showing that rate close to 75%.  These same statistics show that although women cheat as well, they are at least twice as faithful as their male counterparts.  Another stunning statistic is the rate among gay males.  It has been estimated that over 90% of gay males in long-term relationships cheat on their partners.

Although the after effects of infidelity often leads to divorce, some partners/spouses are able to muddle their way through to an end result of a stronger marital bond.  However, there are those instances where a partner or spouse learns to accept this type of behavior and the unfaithfulness continues.

According to Mr. Blanchard, only one out of every four men actually leave their wives for the other woman.  This is not surprising to me.  Most men do not cheat on their wives because they don’t love them.  It is usually because they are missing something emotionally.   Most people believe “men will be men” and that they will cheat because of their animalistic ways, but that is not true.  I have talked to several men who have experienced infidelity and almost all of them said they loved their wives but that she couldn’t connect with them emotionally.  This is definitely not a valid excuse, in my opinion;  however, it is something that women need to be made more aware of.  Mr. Blanchard goes on to say that the biggest myth believed by many is the idea that if a man is happily married, he will not cheat.  Wrong again!

As Mr. Blanchard so eloquently states, “love is not a rational feeling.  Sometimes it leads to pure happiness and other times it leads to pain.  It is such a powerful emotion that it changes lives and perspectives.”  My take from that is his reasoning for the above.  People make irrational mistakes that lead to pain in marriages and relationships in general.  It’s what we learn from those mistakes that matter in the end.  Unfortunately, we have to learn that divorce may be the consequence, and fortunately for some, that mistake may lead to a stronger relationship if the right help is asserted.

The institute of marriage has been attacked by infidelity.  Marriage has become less of a commitment and divorce has become an all too easy option.  When we commit to our marriages and take our precious vows, we are supposed to be bound to our trust and to our loyalty to our unions.  As has been often stated, marriage is hard work! Although the path through infidelity is a hard one to take, I believe that one can find restoration and healing through a renewed commitment to yourself and to your marriage as well as  through communication and open counseling.

Let me put out my disclaimer to you readers that by all means, I am not encouraging anyone to stay in an unhealthy marriage.  However, marriage is extremely personal to each individual and where immediately heading to divorce court might be good for one couple, it may not be the answer for the next.

My question would be…”What is your marriage worth to you?”   TMF readers, I would love to hear your opinion on this very touchy subject.  I welcome your thoughts and opinions.

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Before You Say I Do – Take Two

You are on cloud 9 because the man that you’ve been dating for quite some time now has just popped the question, and you said yes! Being that this may be the second time around for either you or your partner or both, deciding on a date, location, the perfect dress and the guest list are only a few of your first steps. Below are some tips on what you should do right after you say yes to the man of your dreams.

Schedule an appointment with a stepfamily counselor

Falling in love is the easy part. What you and your fiance need to learn is how to stay that way. No matter how much in love you are, if you don’t adequately prepare for the second time around, your marriage and family will likely fail. A stepfamily counselor will help you work on things like co-parenting plans, communication, couple strength and more. And trust me, you’ll need some guidance as a stepfamily marriage comes equipped with different challenges than a first marriage. Discuss these things AHEAD of time and give your marriage a better chance at survival.

Discuss your parenting styles

Because one or both of you are entering into the marriage with kids, it is crucial that you talk about parenting styles, including discipline. For example, one of you might be completely opposed to the kids eating in their rooms, but the other might not have a problem with it. How will you resolve such issues before being confronted with them? It is much easier to discuss these things before they happen as opposed to doing so in the heat of the moment.

Talk about finances

Every couple should discuss finances before saying I do, but it is especially important for the remarried coupled with children. Why? Because outside obligations will undoubtedly affect your household. Will you keep your finances separate or join forces? How will you handle it when an ex-spouse requests something extra outside of child support?

Tell the kids

Sit down with the kids and explain to them what’s going on. Express how much you want them to be part of the wedding festivities and the newly formed family. Explain ahead of time that there will be some changes. For example, stepmom or stepdad will be moving in with us after the wedding. You’ll also want to sit down with your respective children individually to explain what the marriage will mean for them.

Hire a wedding planner!!!

Clearly you already have so much to do and think about before you even get to the wedding planning stage. As such, I cannot stress enough how much hiring a wedding planner will help. Trust me, while you’re worrying about the complicated guest list, how your kids and/or his kids will behave, whether or not you should invite the ex…your wedding planner will be concentrating on the intimate details of YOUR day! She will minimize the stress so you are actually able to enjoy your timeless affair.

Overall, you are entering into what can be a very exciting and rewarding time in your lives if handled properly. Remember a remarriage is not like a first marriage and discussing the unique challenges that remarried couples face, ahead of time, will give your marriage the best chance at succeeding.

A Superbowl Taco Bake

We are big on championship games in our house.  With the upcoming Superbowl just around the corner, I thought I would give you a recipe that is sure to please those hungry football fans attending your home party or even one that you can take tailgating!  It’s super simple and super delicious.  I originally tried this recipe from my super handy Taste of Home magazine.

Beef Taco Bake

Ingredients:

1 pound of ground beef
1 can (10 3/4 oz.) Campbell’s Condensed Tomato Soup
1 cup Pace Chunky Salsa or Pace Picante Sauce
1/2 cup of milk
6 flour tortillas (8-inch) or 8 corn tortillas (6 inch), cut into 1-inch pieces
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (4 oz. bag)

Directions:

Cook ground beef in skillet until no longer pink , stirring often.  Pour of any fat.  Stir in soup, salsa, milk, tortillas and half the cheese in the skillet.  Spoon the beef mixture into a 2-quart shallow baking dish and cover.  Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes or until the beef mixture is hot and bubbling.  Sprinkle with remaining cheese.  Yield: 4 servings.

You can also successfully double this recipe if you like.  I always have to.

Enjoy!
Di

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