Lately, my husband and I have been talking about renewing our wedding vows next year.  When we got married, we did it Vegas Style!  Well, although the idea of a cheap, quickie wedding appealed to us at the time both time wise and financially, we have begun to regret the fact that we didn’t involve our children.  I have been reading up a bit about second time around wedding ceremonies and blended family wedding vows and thought that I would share a bit of the information I have discovered with our TMF readers.

If you are thinking about having a blended family ceremony, it is important to honor each other’s children.   Every situation is of course unique and delicate but these children will become an integral part of your new life and it is important to acknowledge and include them.   With that, also acknowledging to yourself that your spouse and his/her children were “one” before you came along and that your vows do not circumvent the relationship they have with their children will help you to understand and bond with your step-children.

Here are a few sample second time around wedding vows (courtesy of www.idotaketwo.com):

Bride & Groom

“God has given us a second chance at happiness.  I come today to give you my love, to give you my heart and my hope for our future together.  I promise to bring you joy, to be at home with your spirit and to learn to love you m ore each day, through all the days of our lives.   My love for you is endless and eternal.”

“I am proud to marry you this day.  I promise to wipe away your tears with my laughter and your pain with caring and compassion.  Together we will wipe clean the old canvases of our lives, and let God, with His amazing artistic talent, fill them with new color, harmony and beauty.  I give myself to you completely, and I promise to love you always, from this day forward.”

Vows Including Children

After the wedding vows are recited by the bride and groom, the children will now repeat “We do” after each of these questions:

“And now, (children’s names) do you promise to love and respect your parent’s new husband/wife?  Do you promise to support their marriage and new family?  Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them and support them in your new life together?”

Note:  Obviously, if the children are having are having a hard time accepting your new marriage or are showing signs of resistance, then I would not include them in the “vows” process.  Each individual family has a different set of dynamics going on.  But certainly, do not force them if they are uncomfortable.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these vows or if you would like to share vows that you have already taken, feel free to comment, we would love to hear from you.

Peace & Blessings,
Di