The Blended Family Survival Guide – Part I
March 15, 2011 by Diane Greene
Filed under Stepfamilies
“Brandi Mitchell just gets it!”
TMF Readers, I have had the honor and pleasure of reading Brandi Mitchell’s “The Blended Family Survival Guide” and to simply put it, not only was I impressed with her work but I was enamored with her uncanny ability to use her own personal experience as a stepping stone to help others who may be in the midst of their own blended family firestorm. The Blended Family Survival Guide is not just a guide for all of us blended family members offering tips, tools, advice, legal research, etc., but packs a serious powerhouse punch to the issues all blended families face. I encourage all of you readers to go directly to Brandi’s site www.theblendedfamilysurvivalguide.com to get your copy of this amazing book! I promise, you won’t be disappointed. Below is a snippet of what you will get from this fabulous book!
“When Prince Charming found me, glass slipper in hand, we vowed our love to each other for eternity, as he whisked me off to Blendedville to live happily ever after. What I didnt expect, on the way to my not-so-new castle, was that we would pick up two, little adorable travelers that would go on the journey with us! Oh, and by the way, did I mention that my carriage had to stop to pick up my little travelers at two different houses? Now, a young princess in my new blended world, I had no map or compass to guide me through the blended journey, nor had I realized the true effect my ready-made family would have on my own marriage and future children.”
Stay tuned readers for Part II of this post where I will be interviewing the fabulous Ms. Brandi Mitchell herself! You will not want to miss this one!
Peace & Blessings,
Diane
Six Things in the Remarried Co-Parent’s Survival Toolbox
March 1, 2011 by Kela Price
Filed under Stepfamilies
The first thing the remarried co-parent should have is a detailed, mutually agreed upon, co-parenting plan. He or she should have one within their household and with their former spouse. Remarried couples and divorced co-parents need to stop making it up as they go along and talk about it, prior to divorce or remarriage. Talk about how to handle discipline, visitation, phone calls, birthday parties, etc. because when you are suddenly confronted with these decisions and emotions are high, those emotions usually dictate your decision making. As such, you end up making a decision based on how you feel instead of what’s best for everyone.
Family Mission Statement
Arm yourself with a good family mission statement, which all the members of your household are active participants in creating. Remember that especially because this family wasn’t organically made, some effort will need to go into building and maintaining it. Talk about how you want to connect as a family and make every member feel included in this process.
Stepfamily Coach
Be sure to have a good stepfamily coach/counselor on speed dial as it’s not always helpful to listen to those well-meaning family members and friends. Talking to someone who is experienced and knowledgeable on the issues that you will undoubtedly face will be helpful as you navigate through your remarried co-parenting journey.
Drama Free Date Night
Drama free date night, at least once per month, is a must! Stay connected to your spouse; remember that he or she is your biggest support system.
No Judgment Zone Problem/Solution Box
No judgment zone problem/solution box is a simple box that is placed in your house for everyone, including the children, to freely drop their concerns in to be addressed. Overall, everyone in the stepfamily just wants to be appreciated and respected and heard! One of the biggest problems that I have discovered with stepfamilies is that they don’t communicate, unless they are fighting about an issue. The stepmom does what she thinks is expected of her. The divorced dad is often the man caught in the middle as he tries to please both women (ex-wife and wife), and the kids feel like they have absolutely no say in what’s happening. Stepmoms don’t hold it in; voice your concerns. Divorced dads, tell your wives how you feel. Kids, we know this isn’t easy for you and we want you to know that we acknowledge how you feel. A problem/solution box gives everyone a voice and shows that you are working to find a solution that mostly works for everyone. More importantly, it allows the children to feel a part of the unit instead of feeling caught in the middle. It also shows them that the success of the family is also dependent upon their active participation.
Realistic Expectations
It is important to have realistic expectations when entering into a stepfamily. Remember, that stepfamilies do not and cannot operate as first families do and it will take time and a conscious effort to build and maintain your modern family. Relationships take time and effort to build, but not force. Establishing realistics expectations in the beginning will minimize hurt feelings and chaos.
Diane’s Shepherd’s Pie
February 21, 2011 by Diane Greene
Filed under Lifestyle and Fashion, The Modern Kitchen
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TMF Readers, today, for some reason, I have been doing a lot of reflecting. Reflecting on my childhood and my grandparents and for some odd reason, one thing I could not stop thinking about was the food that I remember being prepared in my mom’s kitchen. My mom was a single mother from the time I was 10 until the time I was out of high school. She worked long, hard hours and didn’t make much money. We lived on a strict budget but us kids never missed a meal. She cooked the best she knew how and today, I want to share my “kicked up” version of her Shepherd’s Pie. I changed it around a bit in order to spruce it up a bit and I actually prepared it tonight for my mom. By the way, she loved it and so did my children and husband. I hope you enjoy!
Ingredients:
12 potatoes peeled and cut into quarters
3 large cloves of garlic
1-1/2 pounds of ground beef
2 Tbsp. flour
2 Tbsp. Ketchup
3/4 cup of beef broth
3 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed
1 cup of sour cream
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
Instructions:
Boil potatoes and garlic in boiling water until tender. Brown ground beef, stir in flour and cook 1 minute. Add mixed vegetables, broth and ketchup. Cook 10 minutes, stirring frequently.
Heat oven to 350 degrees; drain potatoes, return to pan. Add sour cream; mash until potatoes are smooth and mixture is well blended.
Put meat mixture into a 10×13 inch glass pan; cover with potatoes. Bake for 15 minute sand then top with remaining cheese and bake until cheese is melted.
Enjoy!
No One Can Grow In The Shade!
February 19, 2011 by Diane Greene
Filed under Single Parent Families, Stepfamilies
“YOU HAVE GOT TO DISCOVER YOU, WHAT YOU DO, AND TRUST IT!” BARBARA STREISAND
With divorce comes a vast variety of emotions. Unbeknownst to many of us, our lives have been shaken to it’s core and we are totally unprepared for the challenges that come along with the big bad enemy we call D-I-V-O-R-C-E! To be quite honest, it sucks! However, as we all know, after every rain shower, there is a rainbow. The same holds true for life after divorce. Problem is, we tend to hide from life after divorce. We tend to decide that we can no longer shine. We tend to accept what our temporary emotions are telling us and instead of making lemonade out of lemons, we stay stuck.
TMF Readers, can we talk? Albeit, divorce and remarriage both have many pitfalls. If you go to any library in your community you will find many books on the subject. However, no one book can prepare you for the injury you feel when divorce happens. With that, today, I want to give you a few tips on learning how to nurture your emotional and personal growth after divorce. As the title of this post reads, No One Can Grow In the Shade! What do I mean by this you might ask? Well, it’s simple. Staying stuck holds you down. It keeps you in the dark and forces you to keep assigning blame to yourself instead of truly evaluating the whole big picture. It keeps you from accepting what has happened and it keeps you from moving on. It keeps you from discovering the new person that you are and what personal gifts you have been blessed with.
Here are some tips for you to use in your journey:
- Reflect — but do not dwell. During my divorce, I kept a journal. Write down your feelings and leave them there. Capture what you think went wrong and learn from it. Using a journal to express yourself keeps you from making the huge mistake of being over-emotional around your children, etc. It is a form of release.
- Rebuild. Divorce can literally suck the life out of you — IF YOU ALLOW IT TO. Find things you enjoy (i.e., hobbies, personal time, vacations, etc.) and focus on yourself. In order to rebuild your life, you have to have inner strength and a main component of inner strength is taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. Find what you like to do and DO IT! Take time for the pleasures in life that give you peace.
- Eliminate and reduce stress/anxiety. This may be hard to swallow, but you are divorced. Yes, it’s over but your life is not. Worrying about what could have been or what should have been done or what you could have done differently isn’t going to change the fact that you are divorced. Take time to meditate on you. Get a massage, hit the gym, find a space in your house that is all yours and relax. Reduce your stress by writing down your feelings and then decide to move on. Part of your learning process means you don’t have to make the same mistakes again — that in itself will lessen your anxiety.
- Fight your fears. After divorce, people are so afraid to be alone that they, at times, jump from the frying pan to the fryer. Patience is key. Being alone doesn’t have to be the big ”fear” everyone makes it out to be. It is important to have time to redefine yourself. It is important to have time to rediscover what it is about you that makes you happy. It is important to reflect on how you can grow from this situation. You cannot do all of these very important things while at the same time jumping into a new relationship. It doesn’t and won’t work. Being alone and giving yourself your own undivided attention will build your self-esteem and self-worth.
TMF Readers, you cannot grow in the shade! In order to be truly happy, we have to be able to acknowledge and find that WE, as individuals, can fulfill our own needs. Hence, we can move on with our lives and become a better partner in our future relationships.
Peace & Blessings,
Diane
THIS IS WHO I AM!
February 6, 2011 by Diane Greene
Filed under Modern "Me" Time
There are two primary choices in life:
1. To accept conditions as they exist; or
2. Accept the responsibility for changing them!
This holds true in our marriages, our co-parenting responsibilities and most importantly, our personal lives. Learning how to let go, moving on and rising to the occasion of what’s really important is key to being released and truly happy.
For years, I have to admit that I was such the people pleaser that I constantly worried about what people thought about me. I constantly felt I had to conquer all problems that one might ask me to help them with. I had to be the best wife, mom, stepmom and friend that walked the planet earth and I wanted everyone to know it. I wanted to be appreciated and liked by everyone. I wanted to be appreciated and liked by my children all the time. I wanted to be accepted and liked by my stepdaughter and her mother so that they would know that I was committed to my stepdaughter and to my family. I wanted to be the “fixer of all things” for my husband so I would go overboard with my friendship with my husband’s ex wife so that I could “fix” everything and be responsible for his issues that involved his daughter and ex-wife so that our family could work cohesively all the time — or so I thought. Through all of this however, I wasn’t being myself. No matter how much I tried to hide the big elephant in the room, I couldn’t – because the big elephant was ME!
What I was doing was not only unhealthy for me emotionally but also I was putting undue pressure on others in my life to fill the need that they always had to make me happy. As you can see, I have used the word “I” so many times above because “I” was making it all about “me.” Life isn’t always happy. Parenting and co-parenting isn’t always cohesive. Kids and parents aren’t always going to get along, wives and ex-wives aren’t always going to like one another all of the time, dads and step-dads might not always see eye-to-eye. I am not perfect and once I realized I didn’t have to be perfect in order for people to appreciate me, a huge weight and monkey was lifted off of my back. I don’t need approval from anyone but myself! I realized that I am who I am because God made me to be a beautiful, loving, caring, kind and yes, an imperfect individual person. Accepting the fact that I don’t have the responsibility to make everyone happy all of the time, opened the door for my relationships to get better. The realization that my children will be fine if I am not pleasing them all the time, that my husband can ”fix” his own issues, that my stepdaughter will know I love her and that I don’t need everyone’s approval was liberating. The fact that I didn’t have to go overboard with my friendship with my husband’s ex (not to mention the fact that it put her, at times, in an awkward position) just to prove to her that I love and am committed to my stepdaughter and our blended family was essential to my, my husband’s ex-wife and our blended family’s emotional health.
The mere fact that I am no longer worried about what people think about me, how they feel about me or what they say about me, whether they are my friends, my colleagues and even my family was absolutely life changing. With acceptance comes change and it is our own individual responsibility to make ourselves completely happy in our lives. No one person can make us well-rounded and happy if we are not happy first with ourselves.
That being said TMF Readers, my new mantra, love me or hate me….THIS IS WHO I AM!
Peace & Blessings,
Diane
10 Tips for Building a Strong (Re)Marriage
February 4, 2011 by Kela Price
Filed under Love and Marriage
It amazes me at how many couples take marriage for granted, especially the couples who enter the marriage with challenges, such as kids and ex-spouses. For some reason, most are convinced that love some how conquers all and once it gets difficult, it must mean that you just don’t love each other anymore. Perhaps it’s the reason that our divorce rate in America is so high and the divorce rate for second marriages is even higher. Listen closely because I am about to let you in on a little secret. Are you ready? Marriage is hard and remarriage is even harder. Both take continuous effort on both participants’ parts to build a strong union. Below are ten tips to help you build a strong (re)marriage.
Learn to Forgive
This is probably one of, if not the most important tip to maintaining a successful marriage. Forgiveness is essential to truly moving past any hurt that your spouse may have caused you. The truth is people hurt people all the time, be it intentionally or unintentionally; and because marriage involves two people, it is no different. Therefore, if you decide to stay married after the hurtful behavior then you have to make a decision to forgive and let it go. There is no room in your marriage for holding grudges.
Do Things Together
A strong union requires that the two people actually spend time together and like it. Spend time with your spouse doing or learning about something that you enjoy doing together. Take a dance class together, or buy a cookbook and prepare a different dish together every month. Do things that require team work, touching and communicating but are fun as well. Learning something new together helps to build memories as a couple and strengthens your bond.
Relive Old Memories
When you’re stuck in a rut it’s hard to remember the good times, but doing so can often times bring you out of that rut. Every now and then, bring up an old funny story that involves you both. Talk about your honeymoon or your first kiss or the first time one of you did something silly in front of the other. These serve as little reminders that the person you fell in love with and married is still in there somewhere.
Talk – A LOT
When you ask your spouse how his or her day was, act like you really want to know the answer. By that same token, when you tell your spouse about your day, avoid the “it was good” answers. Instead briefly let each other into your respective worlds while you were away from each other. Tell that funny story about a co-worker. Talk about something interesting you heard or the news. Describe something cute that the baby did. Engaging in friendly conversation (not about bills or problems) is way of maintaining your connection.
Be Kind and Generous
This one seems kind of funny to mention, huh? Well, you’d be surprised at how many couples show kindness to people outside of their marriage, such as co-workers, soccer coaches or the Walmart cashier, but take their spouses for granted. Be kind, thoughtful and generous to each other. If you get a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, take one to your spouse too, without him or her asking. On your way home from work, pick up your spouse’s favorite candy bar or magazine – just because. Cherish and treat each other like the king and queen that you both are.
Focus on What You Like About Each Other
I often hear from couples that they each only notice and point out each other’s mistakes. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like having my mistakes constantly thrown up in my face. If all you do is remind your spouse of their mistakes and wrongdoings, they’ll begin to question why you even want to be with him or her in the first place. Instead, focus on what each of you do that you like and make it a point to verbalize that you to your spouse.
Laugh Together
The old saying, “laughter is the best medicine” is so true. Be silly and goofy with and around each other. The couple who can laugh together and actually be friends, holds the key to longevity.
Stick Together
In a (re)marriage, there is no room for divided loyalties! If your marriage is under attack by an ex-spouse, in-law or even your respective children, stick together during these stressful times. Decide how you’re going to handle the situation and then present a united front. During stressful times remember that you are both on the same team so stick together.
Learn to Say I’m Sorry
You’d be surprised at how impactful those three little words are. As a matter of fact sometimes the words, “I am sorry” are more meaningful and powerful than “I love you.” If you had a bad day and you know you just berated your spouse for no reason, make it a point to apologize. Admitting when you are wrong shows humility and can help to build trust in your relationship.
Write it Down
It is essential that you remain on the same page (or at least in the same book) with your spouse on all issues, especially those involving the kids. Discuss rules and consequences for the kids, including bedtimes, homework times, computer and video time and allowance and write it down. Writing it down and placing it in an area that is visible to you both helps to keep you on the same page.
Positive Co-Parenting Binder
January 31, 2011 by Kela Price
Filed under Good News
When co-parenting your children, it isn’t always realistic for some couples to meet over a cup of coffee to talk about the kids, or discuss the kids’ futures while at Christmas dinner. However, the need for effective communication is just as essential when trying to inflict minimal damage on the kids. They need for their parents to be on the same page and let’s face it, it can get rather confusing when trying to manage doctor’s appointments, education expenses, health care expenses and parenting time schedules between two households. Well, I’ve got the perfect solution! It’s called the Positive Co-Parenting binder, an communication and organizational tool created for co-parents, by April Zacher.
The Positive Co-Parenting binder includes a parenting time calendar, activity and school calendars, education and dependant and health care address cards (and holders for the cards), health care receipt folders, health care instruction sheets, document exchange folders, and there is even a place to record pertinent conversations! It’s the perfect way to keep co-parents on the same page and organized between both households; something kids desperately need in order to thrive post-divorce.
You can visit www.positivecoparents.com to order a binder for $39.95 or you can even get the pdf version for just $8.95.
I’m seriously thinking about given these away as gifts. In my opinion, it’s that essential that co-parents have one. Even if you get along great and communicate fairly well with your co-parent, it’s nearly impossible to keep all the important things organized between two households. The Positive Co-parenting Binder is a great tool for all co-parents! Order your binder today!
Rebuilding Trust in Your Marriage
January 30, 2011 by Kela Price
Filed under Love and Marriage
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Trust is the key component to a successful marriage and especially in a remarriage. You have to be able to trust each other in order to present a united front to your children. If you don’t trust your spouse, you won’t feel comfortable allowing him or her to be your co-parent with your children. You won’t feel comfortable allowing him or her to solely handle decision making with their ex-spouse and overall, you won’t be an effective team and life partners. That being said, remarried partners who bring children into the marriage, are also presented with more opportunities to break trust just due to the complex family dynamic. If you and your spouse are trying to rebuild or maintain trust in your marriage, consider the following helpful tips.
Do What You Say You’re Going to Do – When trust has been broken by one or both parties in the marriage, remember it’s the little things you do that will help to rebuild it. Think about it this way – when you are trying to build and maintain trust with your child of divorce, it’s important to be on time for visitation, keep communication open and honest, and overall, do what you say you’re going to do, right? Well, it’s no different when you’re trying to rebuild trust in your marriage. Do what you say you’re going to do; even regarding the simplest things such as bringing sugar home on your way from work. If you’re consistent over time, even when it comes to the little things, you will start to rebuild trust in your relationship.
Safe Communication – it’s important to feel safe enough to communicate in your relationship to rebuild trust. Pick a spot in your home and label it the no judgment zone. In this zone, you are both free to communicate how you feel without judgment. BUT, use “I” instead of “you” statements. “You did this, or always do that” are statements that put people on the defensive. Instead say “I feel this way when you do this.”
Don’t Continuously Bring Up the Past – Even when you are both working hard to rebuild trust, be advised that there are still times when you are going to disagree/fight/argue. When this happens, remember to fight fair. Don’t bring up old issues , if you have already resolved them.
Sticks and Stones Can Break Your Bones and Words CAN Hurt – Words that are spoken in the heat of the moment when you are both very angry can knock you three steps back when you are trying to build trust. So if you and your spouse are arguing and are boiling mad, take a breather. Step away from the discussion, collect yourself and remind yourself that you are having an argument WITH YOUR SPOUSE; not a co-worker or a stranger off the street – YOUR SPOUSE. Don’t say things that you might regret or that won’t be easily forgiven or forgotten.
No Instant Fix – You have to gradually rebuild trust over a period of time. Be patient with each other as you both work to regain that trust you lost and find happiness again.
How Often Do You Vacation Without the Kids?
January 24, 2011 by Kela Price
Filed under Advisory Board
Diane and I received a question from a reader last week regarding vacationing WITHOUT his kids or stepkids. His wife wanted to keep it from his children until the last minute because she didn’t want them to be upset. However, he didn’t/doesn’t understand why his wife’s stepkids feel as if they are entitled to go. His stepkids expressed that it was unfair that they weren’t included in the vacationing plans.
In my opinon, although I think it’s completely normal for kids to be disappointed that mom and dad are going on vacation without them, I don’t feel the need to beat around the bush, or figure out a way to tell them (as if to ask their permission), that the adults/parents are going on vacation without them. This holds true if the children are older – which his are. In my opinion, it just feeds into that sense of entitlement.
As I told the reader, vacationing WITHOUT the kids, from time to time, is a great way to get some extended time just focusing on you as a couple, instead of you as parents/co-parents/step parents. Couples NEED that in order to nurture their marriage and be better partners and parents.
Below is the reader’s story. What do you think? How often do you vacation without your kids/stepkids?
READER QUESTION:
Hi Kela and Diane…
Wanted to pose a question for the advisory board if I may…
My wife and I are going on a vacation in a couple of weeks. Hawaii specifically. My wife didn’t want to tell her kids (pre-teens) until just before we were flying out. I didn’t quite understand this because my ex and I had travelled a number of times when my kids were younger and there was no problem with them knowing.
A few days before the planned disclosure date to her kids, I accidentally let the cat out of the bag at the dinner table. My wife was shocked and a little disappointed but she took the opportunity to explain the context of the trip.
Kids reacted fine at first, but then became mopey and expressed that they thought it was unfair that we go without them. I had not seen that there was any precedent set that they come on all trips with us. However, this is the first major trip my wife and I have taken together where we are gone for more than a few days to such an appealing place.
They came up with some of the most amazing rationalizations as to why this wasn’t fair and that they deserved to go. None of which made sense to me or my wife. We had launched a new business this past year and agreed that we would not take any holidays other than long weekends due to the commitment it required. Glad to say the first year has been a success so this is somewhat a reward for much hard work. It is also a sort of deferred honeymoon for us.
I just don’t see where the “we deserve to go with you”, thing comes from. I don’t recall feeling that way as a kid, nor did I experience that with my own kids when I was in my first marriage. I’ve spoken to a few friends, and the responses are mixed, but the majority see no problem with parents vacationing on their own and few have experienced much resistance. None on the level we just went through.
In the end, one of my step kids admitted he was envious. The other still contends it is just not fair. We are going all the same. I am paying for it. Fabulous arrangements have been made for kids to stay with a wonderful friend in a wonderful setting.
So, I know there aren’t many do’s or dont’s on an issue like this. Wondering if you can provide any thoughts or experiences. I was just left quite puzzled and perhaps feel a little guilty and bothered that my wife and I can’t take a well-earned vacation after a very hard-working year without such resistance and commotion.
Stepparent Standards
January 23, 2011 by Diane Greene
Filed under Stepfamilies
Being a stepmom has been one of my greatest accomplishments. It has also been one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever undertaken. I say this not because I have a terrible stepkid that presses my nerves everytime she is with us, as a matter of fact, it’s exactly the opposite. I have a fabulous stepdaughter with whom I feel I share a great bond. Are there times when I know she doesn’t like what I have to say about a particular subject? Sure. Are there times where I am sure she has a slight attitude with me? Probably. However, for the most part, my life with my stepdaughter is great. She is one of the most important people in my life. She is my only daughter and I enjoy the time I share with her. At the same time, however, my “stepmom” life has had it’s ups and downs mainly due to the fact that I had to retrain my brain on my standards by accepting and learning from my mistakes, and understanding my role.
Think about this, approximately half of all Americans live in a step-family. Therefore, every single day there are stepparents out there, just like you and me, who are undauntedly taking on the task of step-parenthood and this job is one of the most difficult jobs there is. One of the main mistakes parents make when step-parenting is that they feel as if they have to be the “be all and do all” for their stepchildren. We feel we have to stop everything just to accommodate everyone, including our own children, our spouse, the exes or the family pet for that matter, all of which usually goes unappreciated. If you are guilty of this as I once was, STOP! Know this, everyone ends up resenting the martyr. Martyrs make people feel guilty and when guilt arises in any relationship, resentment builds. Having this attitude is an unrealistic expectation that you are setting for yourself and essentially for those around you.
Another unrealistic expectation that some stepparents have is that their stepchild is going to, or should automatically like or love them; they will surely want to call you “mom” or “dad” and that all of you will be one big happy, loving family. This idea is totally unrealistic. Eventually you might get there, but it takes understanding, effort, hard work, consistency, and most importantly, time. Remember readers, stepchildren experience a wide variety of conflict when a divorce creeps into their lives. They don’t need extra baggage.
Another issue I have seen with stepparents is they want so badly to be a “friend or confidant” with their stepchild that they go way too far. For example, they turn the clock back and try to relate as if they were the same age, they withhold information from the child’s parents, they want to be on their level in order to gain acceptance. You are a parent and it is your job to do just that — help to parent your stepchildren along with your husband and/or wife. I tell my clients all of the time, a child has a child’s place and so does a parent.
Lastly, I would like to impress upon you readers, and I know you have heard it all before, however it is worth rementioning. Never, ever ever bad-mouth the ex in front of the children. For example, don’t stand at the front door and mimic your husband/wife’s ex. Don’t use pet names for him/her in front of the children and never fight with your husband or wife about the ex in front of the children. This only adds fuel to an already grieving child. Private feelings about the ex should only be discussed in just that — private with your spouse. What this eventually causes with the child is resentment and coarse feelings for you and for your spouse. This even holds true when your stepchild is badmouthing his or her parent and/or other stepparent. Do not fall into the trap of agreeing with them. If your stepchild brings you a valid concern, take it to his/her parent.
As I always like to state, children live what they learn. If they see us handling our situations with anger, back and forth drama, they will do just that. Do not become a stepparent that expects gratitude, things will not always be “peachy keen,” but at the same time, remember, you are the grown-up and we need to handle our standards in that fashion.
Peace & Blessings,
Di


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