Let’s be honest, after divorce, for men and women alike, it’s extremely difficult not to become bitter. I know, I myself, after my divorce was extremely bitter. Bitter toward an ex-husband whom I felt didnt’ deserve to be happy. Bitter toward myself as well and expected that I wouldn’t be happy again. However, when life hands you lemons….make lemonade. We can’t control the cards we are dealt. We just have to live with them, move past them and get to a better place in our lives where we can continue to be productive parents, individuals and yes, even happy.
It has been my experience through listening to clients, co-workers and friends tell their stories, a lot of people, instead of doing their best to move past their pain of their former lives, insist upon holding on to grudges and dwelling on how they will make their ex-spouse pay for their pain.
Moreover, when we are going through these types of struggles, we don’t realize that just by living well, moving on and living our best lives, we are getting the ultimate “revenge” in the form of true happiness. When someone tries to steal your joy, you yourself will get more out of your life if you choose to do your best to keep on keepin on by living well. Let me reiterate, living well is the best revenge. Do not settle for less. By holding unnecessary grudges, you are doing yourself and your children a disservice.
Keep your heads up ladies and gentlemen. Divorce, separation, remarriage parenting and co-parenting can be tough and we don’t always see eye to eye as parents, step-parents and co-parents and sometimes we create more problems by not being able to let go of the past as we have experienced it. However, if we lift our heads out of the clouds, do our best to move on and live well all at the same time, we don’t have to be bogged down with the stress and pressure of feeling revengeful and holding grudges.
Peace & Blessings,