Be Attitudes for Living a Happy Life

“Hap­pi­ness is a spir­i­tual path. The more you learn about true hap­pi­ness, the more you dis­cover the truth of who you are, what is impor­tant, and what your life is for.” — Robert Holden, Author of Be Happy!

Hap­pi­ness used to be one of those top­ics that not only I shied away from, but also believed that it just wasn’t going to be a part of my jour­ney. Thank­fully those self-fulfilling days of despair are over and I now know that happiness—just like any­thing else in life—is a mal­leable state of mind that can be learned.

Although some of us are born into the world smil­ing, oth­ers like myself have had to learn (and unlearn) cer­tain tech­niques and habits so that hap­pi­ness can be a part of our nat­ural lives. As I under­stand more about my Self and dis­cover who I really am I also rec­og­nize that hap­pi­ness is mine for the choosing.

Below are a few of the atti­tudes and habits I’ve cul­ti­vated over the years that I believe are key to liv­ing a happy life.

Be Authen­tic

Being authen­tic is about being who we really are with oth­ers. Authen­tic­ity is what helps us live life to our fullest poten­tial. It is also an essen­tial ingre­di­ent to find­ing hap­pi­ness within ourselves.

Liv­ing an authen­tic life ulti­mately opens us up to being in har­mony with our true Self so that we can ulti­mately dis­cover who we really are. And, the more true you are to your­self, the hap­pier you will be.

Be Know­ing

Knowl­edge doesn’t have to always resem­ble books and infor­ma­tion. How­ever, when it comes to being happy, know­ing what makes you smile and light up is extremely important.

For me, being cre­ative, spend­ing qual­ity time with close loved ones, and shar­ing what I’m learn­ing with oth­ers makes me happy. What makes you happy could be some­thing entirely different.

Ulti­mately it’s about find­ing the joy within your­self. Accord­ing to hap­pi­ness expert Dr. Robert Holden, direc­tor of The Hap­pi­ness Project, you feel the hap­pi­est when you begin to know who you truly are. “The rea­son why we’re so inter­ested in hap­pi­ness is because we want to have an expe­ri­ence of our true self.”

Be Grate­ful

“We tend to for­get that hap­pi­ness doesn’t come as a result of get­ting some­thing we don’t have, but rather of rec­og­niz­ing and appre­ci­at­ing what we do have.”— Fred­er­ick Keonig, Co-inventor of the Print­ing Press

As sim­ple as it sounds, grat­i­tude breeds happiness.

Peo­ple who have an atti­tude of grat­i­tude lead hap­pier and health­ier lives than those who don’t because grat­i­tude forces us to over­come what psy­chol­o­gists call the “neg­a­tiv­ity bias”—the ten­dency to dwell on prob­lems, annoy­ances, and life’s lit­tle injustices.

By focussing on the good parts of life—the things that we are thank­ful for—we are con­di­tion­ing our­selves to fos­ter­ing a pos­i­tive atti­tude and a healthy sense of well-being which is what hap­pi­ness is all about.

Be Com­pas­sion­ate

Any­time I think about hap­pi­ness or com­pas­sion the first thought that comes to mind is the Dalai Lama.

Hav­ing had the chance to be taught by him while I was in Wis­con­sin a few years back and hear him speak on the impor­tance of prac­tic­ing com­pas­sion with our­selves and oth­ers, I was pro­foundly changed by the expe­ri­ence and have become more com­pas­sion­ate as a result. As the Dalai Lama teaches:

“The great­est degree of inner tran­quil­ity comes from the devel­op­ment of love and com­pas­sion. The more we care for the hap­pi­ness of oth­ers, the greater is our own sense of well-being.” — Ten­zin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

It is true that by car­ing for the well-being of oth­ers, you auto­mat­i­cally increase your own level of happiness.

Be For­giv­ing

“To for­give is the high­est, most beau­ti­ful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and hap­pi­ness.” — Robert Muller, World Peace and Hap­pi­ness Guru

While the tools, tech­niques, and “be atti­tudes” for hap­pi­ness are valu­able, the most impor­tant of these is for­give­ness. Con­tin­u­ally being in a state of prac­tic­ing for­give­ness allows you to move past resent­ment, hate, fear, and inad­e­quacy while step­ping into the mind-frame of love.

Happy peo­ple learn from their expe­ri­ences, pains, dis­ap­point­ments, and are able to fully expe­ri­ence all the joy life has to offer.

For­give­ness may not be an easy task—in fact, it’s one of the most dif­fi­cult ones to practice—nonetheless, it is a sim­ple one and one worth mastering.

Tips to Grow By

Hap­pi­ness isn’t a reward, it’s part of the jour­ney and it is com­pletely attain­able. Sci­en­tists and psy­chol­o­gists have even dis­cov­ered that our brains have a cer­tain level of plas­tic­ity which allow them to be com­pletely trans­formable and capa­ble of change if we so choose.

How­ever, choos­ing to be happy is more that just a choice, it’s a con­scious deci­sion that only you can make for your­self. By being authen­tic, grate­ful, for­giv­ing, and focus­ing on the pos­i­tive things in life, you will be lead to greater hap­pi­ness.

And as Abra­ham Lin­coln once said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” So, make up your mind to be happy and start liv­ing a hap­pier life today.

About Aisha Quinece

“How am I making the world a better place?” is a question I ask myself almost on a daily basis. As a wife, mother, designer, writer, and teacher, actively enriching the lives of others is a responsibility that I take seriously. Supplying you with practical ways to “Create Your Life” is what my blog, www.AishaQuinece.com, is all about. So, check it out, visit me on Facebook, follow me Twitter, and get started creating your life today!

Live Happy iPhone App

Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor of psychology at UC Riverside and author of the book “The How of Happiness,” has teamed up with Signal Patterns, developers of psychology-based Web and mobile applications, to create the new “Live Happy” iPhone application.

This application is the first of its’ kind and will guide users through a set of daily activities to boost short and long-term happiness, including:

• Goal setting/evaluating/tracking
• Expressing gratitude directly
• Keeping a gratitude journal
• Replaying happy days
• Keeping a savoring photo album
• Envisioning your best possible self
• Nurturing relationships
• Remembering acts of kindness

Prompts in the application will also allow users to measure their happiness on a regular basis, and will help identify which happiness strategies are right for them.

The application builds on traditional happiness programs that previously had been only found in books. With the iPhone’s capabilities to e-mail and text message, write notes, and take photos, the “Live Happy” app provides a comprehensive program that engages users on an interactive platform whenever and wherever they go.

I am so excited about this application as many stepfamily members CHOOSE to get stuck by dwelling on their negative pasts instead of moving forward. Lyubomirsky’s research suggests that happiness is a choice and this new app is a perfect way to get people to make a deliberate effort to choose happiness.

The app is available on the Apple App Store for the iPhone and the iPod Touch. A free version, which supports a limited number of activities, is also available for download. The paid version includes unlimited activities and the “Ask Sonja” feature that allows people to send questions to Lyubomirsky.

Sonja Lyubomirsky

Lyubomirsky has extensively studied and written about the psychology of enduring emotions – specifically, happiness and depression. She explores how exceptionally happy people view themselves and their worlds, and how that enables them to stay upbeat and, most important, how less happy individuals can learn such happiness-enhancing habits.

This story was first published here.