With the holidays fast approaching, I, like many of you readers, end up doing a lot of self-reflection of not just the past year that flew by, but about what I want to do differently next year, what I want to change about myself and remembering those special people that have gone from us too soon.
As I have stated many times, by the time I was 31, I was widowed with 3 children. I had lost my husband, older brother and grandfather all within a two year period. Of course, that was over 12 years ago now, but in my reflections, I have come realize how far I have actually come in my life since that stressful time. I am writing this post with The Joyful Mind Project on my heart with hopes to maybe spark some of you readers who may also be reflecting in your own way. Maybe you suffer from anxiety as I did after my experiences, maybe you suffer from depression or maybe you just are overworked and overwhelmed and you feel like your world is crashing around you. In my experience, getting through and getting to the point of reflection came first by way of acceptance. Just plain and simply accepting life as it is. Going thru this process can be nothing less than devastating but it is reality.
Accepting life right where you are, all of the bad, the ugly and the good is essential. It’s really about deciding to “surrender” what you “think” your life is or should be at that moment and choosing to accept and change. It has been written that…..”Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” The way we cope. What a powerful statement. Of course, the way we each individually cope is always going to be different, but for me, it took a good long time. I had a catch phrase that I told myself often and it was this…”If you can cope, you have hope.” Cliche, I know but it worked for me.
Once you begin to accept that you are right where you are supposed to be at this moment, your whole perspective will begin to change. You will decide at that moment to devise a different relationship with the problem at hand. I tell my coaching clients all of the time that if they focus only on what is wrong with their blended family then that will be their reality because at that point, they aren’t “choosing” to fix the problem. Their words have not become impeccable. They haven’t gotten to acceptance yet. Accept there is a problem, get help and do your best to fix it. See the problem differently instead of letting it debilitate you.
TMF Readers, when you are going thru acceptance, remember to not allow your emotions to consume you. You never have to follow or obey your emotions. You can choose to manage them. Don’t give all of your power away to your emotions because it is then that they can take over your life.
It is very empowering to accept that where you are right now doesn’t have to be your whole life. Your perspective can change as long as you don’t allow yourself to continually focus on the “wrong” and focus on what you can change to make it “right.” Choice is a powerful tool.
Peace & Blessings,