“Nearly 60% of the marriages in the United States end in divorce”

In focusing on the statistical data, one might say that the institute of marriage in our country is falling apart.  Most reasons for this include money, children, infidelity, lack of respect and the biggest of them all…non-communication.  It would seem that the odds are stacked against all of us who are currently married or remarried, especially for those who are newly divorced and hoping for remarriage one day.  Today, some folks are even making conscientious/constructive decisions not to get married at all.  The question I keep finding myself asking is this….How do we find unconditional love that conquers all?  Is this even obtainable?  Can love conquer all?  I believe the answer is: Yes, we can.

 Why were marriages of the past so successful?  Marriages of the past share the basic rules that we have today – only there is one difference.  That difference, to me, is unconditional love.  In our society today, we are molded around the idea that no matter what happens in our marriage, if we get the point that we can’t handle it – however simple the problem may be – we give up and allude to the fact that we can just “get divorced.”  It’s too easy to get divorced in today’s society.  It’s obvious that I totally understand that we live in a different world than did our grandparents and great-grandparents time, and obviously, we don’t have the social pressures to stay with our mates through thick and thin as they did back then, not to mention the fact that our society is always evolving and ever changing, but back then (at least from the stories told to me by my grandmothers) husbands and wives just had a lot more plain old mutual respect for one another.  They communicated, they shared meals together, they stuck by one another, they instilled family values in their children and they worked together at their marriages – they valued each other’s place in the family unit.  Sure, there were those bad apples around that spoiled the bunch, but mainly, marriage and family was first and foremost outside of religion for most people.

Albeit, let me put out my disclaimer that I am not (actually far from) an expert in marital counseling or in the institute of marriage itself, but in my opinion, in any union, the conviction that you have for your mate (whether in a traditional or non-traditional relationship) that he or she is valued and worthy of being loved by you is so important.  It is important that you do your best to make them feel admired and cherished by you.  My husband always makes me feel important to him.  This is one of his best qualities.  What he gives me is something that I never had in any other past relationship.  Now, I wonder why I ever allowed myself to settle for less in the past.  It is so rewarding to have the feeling of admiration and appreciation.  No marriage is perfect by far, but problems can be surmountable.  They can be overcome with plenty of love, patience, positivity, communication and conviction toward resolve. 

 To me, the difference between a good marriage and a GREAT marriage is conviction.  My principle passion is to have a happy home, family and life.  Is it hard sometimes? Of course!  Are there days where I think to myself….”Good Golly Miss Molly – What on Earth have I gotten myself into?”  Absolutely!  We all have these moments when we are frustrated in our marriages.  But, I have an assured belief that God has me and my husband right where he wants us to be and that is TOGETHER.  We put up with one another through thick and thin.  Couples that are able to dig deep enough to weather the storms together end up building marriages that stand the test of time in the long run.  They are unbreakable.  They overcome!  This is unconditional love.  Be blessed BFSO readers and let me know what tips you use to keep your marriage healthy, strong and happy.  I’d love to hear from you.

 Peace and blessings,
Di