Negative Influences on Your Marriage

Ask yourself this question…”Do you allow outside friends, family members or even ex-partners/spouses influence your marriage or relationship?  At times during any relationship, we all have weak moments where we allow drama to dictate the trials in our lives. Unfortunately, during those same times, outside influences will always try to wedge themselves between our relationships with, at times, shady advice and cloudy guidance.

In some relationships, one of the biggest problems with outside influences can be a person’s own family.  Usually our parents and family feel that because they believe they always have our best interests at heart, they get the right to have an all access pass into our lives.  Often times, they push themselves too far into our personal relationships with our mates and with our children, even to the extent of trying to raise our children.  They want a say in every situation and every decision.  I have even heard of family members who have actually advised their loved one that it’s time to end their relationship or marriage.

With all that being said, however, one might ask where does the real fault lie in this situation?  My answer is simple.  If you allow these outside influences to be the deal breaker in your relationship then you, as an individual, are completely at fault.  If you personally allow an outside influence to become the demise of your relationship and you know for example that this particular person has their own personal issues and storms going on in their lives and further, you even know that they don’t really know what’s best for your family, then you have to personally take ownership for the stress this causes in your relationship.

One tip I like to give is to pay attention to the advice you get and who you get it from.  Always ask yourself…”Is the person from whom I am seeking advice telling me the truth, or simply what I want to hear?”  Also, just because a couple or person has been married for 25 years or in a steady relationship for a long period of time, doesn’t mean they are truly happy.  For example, do not allow your parents’ relationship to be an indicator as to how you should handle your marriage, children or relationship.  If someone really is committed to helping you, they wont enable you just because they love you.  They will let you handle your own personal problems and relationship.

Here are some tips to keep outside influences out of your relationships:

• Instead of communicating about your problems with others, rely on each other and communicate together.
• Only take advice from couples or people you personally know have a strong, successful relationship.  Or, in the alternative, seek a private counselor or pastor.
• Compromise until you find a solution.  Try to find a happy medium when conflicts arise.  It can’t always be your way or the highway.
• Surround yourselves with positive influences.
• Distance yourself from negative influences which cause conflict in your partnership.
• Understand your union.  There will always be challenging times in any relationship.  Communicating concerns, respecting and honoring your differences will allow you and your partner or spouse to understand one another, completely.

The most important people in your relationship are you and your partner.  Eliminating negative outside influences will not only rid you of unnecessary stress, it will strengthen the bond within your relationship by leaps and bounds.

Peace & Blessings,
Di