Must Have Tool for a Peaceful Mind: Forgiveness!

June 5, 2012 By

“The greatest gift given to us by God is that of forgiveness.”

I don’t know about you readers, but to me, it seems as though many of our mindsets have gotten away from forgiveness.  Whether that forgiveness be in our relationships, our family units or our friendships, we have lost sight of simply trying to make things better for one another.  We don’t own up to keeping our friendships intact anymore.  Think about it.  We live in a world now where most of our interaction with our friends, family and sometimes our significant others is through social networks, text messages and cell phones.  Long gone are the days of making time for one another.  Long gone are the days of popping up to check in on our friends like we used to.  It has become the “norm” to check in using our Facebook status updates.

I have talked to many people who have found themselves in situations where they can’t seem to find it in their hearts to forgive someone who has hurt them in one way or another.  Albeit, I am a firm believer that if there is someone in your life that doesn’t make you a better person, or you are always on the giving end of your relationship and never receiving anything in return, sometimes it is just best to let that person go in order for you to move on to a healthier life.  However, there are those instances in our lives where we have found ourselves battling with someone for one reason or another (most of the time petty reasons) and we end up walking away from that particular relationship and becoming bitter toward that particular person.  We refuse to allow ourselves to see the differences for what they are and we see an apology on our part as a sign of weakness so we refuse to take that step forward toward forgiveness and healing.  We simply decide that it is easier to turn away from the friendship or relationship and deem it unfixable. We allow our stubbornness and our pride to play a role in taking away the “freedom” that forgiving provides to us.  As I have said in other posts, forgiveness is for you.  It is truly the link to freedom from the pain that keeps you stuck.

Its simple TMF readers, being able to apply forgiveness comes down to one simple word.  Interaction.  You might be asking “why would interaction be so important?”  The answer is easy.  Forgiveness comes down to interaction because 9 times out of 10, the person you are holding a grudge against isn’t the same person he/she used to be.  Without opening yourself to interaction with that person, you won’t know.  You can’t assume that they still feel the way they do.  You can’t go on not forgiving and acknowledging that both of you made mistakes and that you both need to be able to pass that forgiveness on to one another in order to free yourself from that pain that the past holds.

Below are some tips on getting to forgiveness and moving on:

  • Accept and let go of the past.  The past is not going to change.  Accept it.  As human beings, we are naturally geared toward accepting the negative over the positive.  Accept the pain that has been caused and let it go.  We cannot move forward while walking backward.  Process your emotions and get to the positive solutions.
  • Look for the lesson.  Every situation we experience is an opportunity for us to learn a lesson.  It allows us to see how far we have come in our healing and gives us the opportunity for further growth in our situations.
  • Decide.  Like in any relationship, you have to make a choice as to whether or not you are going to move forward or let it go.  Make sure your mind is clear when making these choices.  Make sure you have gone over your thoughts and emotions with a fine tooth comb and then make your choice.  There is no room for hasty decisions.
  • Apologize.  Own your part of the breakdown.  Your part may not be significant in your eyes, but remember that we all see ourselves through rose colored glasses.  It is very hard to self-analyze without coming out on top.  Apologizing is good for the soul.  It is biologically important.  It heals.

If this post doesn’t give you anything at all, I want you to know this….forgiveness is only a conversation away.  Go and get that interaction!  Just as removing toxic people out of your life is healthy, forgiving people for past hurts is healthy.  Remember, you don’t have to subject or open yourself up to more pain by forgiving someone for hurting you, you just allow yourself to move forward.

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

Share
Filed Under: Renew You Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Video Games: Friend or Foe?

August 18, 2011 By Leave a Comment

TMF Readers, we received the following letter from a concerned reader regarding video game addiction. In the past 10 years, video game addiction has become a mainstay in our society and abroad. Unfortunately, there are some parents who are also addicted which sets the bar in the opposite direction for their children.  We at Today’s Modern Family would love to have your thoughts on this fiery debate.  Feel free to chime in and offer our reader some of your tips or tools on how you helped to conquer this addiction with your own child(ren).

Dear Advisory Board,

We are concerned about the possible signs of Video Game Addiction in one of our pre-teens.

I have read some things online but hard to know what is reliable. The signs we are seeing are:

- Inordinate fixation with a particular multi-dimensional game.

- Immediate return to the game when there is even a moment free.

- Strong reactions to when the game’s access is limited or removed.

- Inciting conflict with siblings playing the game or using the computer.

- Lethargy in other areas such as homework, personal care, household responsibilities where previously these were done more reliably.

- Sneaky/deceitful behaviour to get to the game.

The list does go on but I am sure you would agree that the signs are worthy of attention.

We are intervening and doing a lot of common-sense things like talking about it with the child, limiting access to a certain amount per day, giving other options for them to occupy their time with. We are seeking guidance locally as well.

We are just concerned we are at the thin edge of the wedge of a growing problem and welcome any input.

Much appreciated.

Share
Filed Under: Advisory Board Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

CHECK IN AND MOTIVATE YOURSELF!

May 11, 2011 By Leave a Comment

“People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates”

 We all talk the talk but a lot of the times we forget to walk the walk.  Men and women alike want to be more healthy, more motivated and more self-aware of where we are in our walk of life.  Add in all of the stresses that our societies are now experiencing and 9 times out of 10, “yourself” gets put on the back burner.  I saw a quote once that stuck with me.  It said “You are your own raw material.  When you know what you consist of and what you want to make of it, then you can invent yourself.”  I have discovered that my truth is when I want changes to occur in my life or I want to grow more or feel more bound to my relationships, I make sure that I first attend to myself and analyze where “I” truly am so that I can then open myself up more and also be more to others.

Checking in with myself has been an overall hard effort in the past for me.  Finding the self-motivation to put myself first and to get out of slumps is and was hard work.  Falling off the bandwagon is just like being addicted to nicotine.  You fall off the wagon and get back on again, which can end up being a disastrous cycle if you allow it to fester.  Continuously motivating ourselves and giving ourselves the time we deserve (mentally, physically and emotionally) is utterly important.  When I allow myself to breathe, spend time nuturing myself, I feel remarkable.  In my opinion, this happens to everyone who starts to think that they can do things when they believe in themselves first.

Another idea about checking in with ourselves and motivating ourselves is by sharing our knowledge with others.  Think about it….what if Maya Angelou never shared her magnificent poems with all of the world?  What if we never heard the story of Albert Einstein or Anne Frank?  What if Martin Luthur King, Jr. decided only to preach his message in the church and not take to the streets to spread his wisdom and God’s word?  In order to help people, we have to share what we know.  No one is successful by themselves.  There is always someone behind the scenes helping.  I know I would be absolutely no where without my fabulous business partner who supports me and whom has inspired me and shared her knowledge with me.  It’s about being unselfish and allowing our motivations to help others. Remember, we can do more and aim higher when we have supportive people around us.

Here are a few tips to get you more motivated:

  1. Stay Positive. Attitude, attitude, attitude.  It makes all the difference in the world.   You are the only one in charge of your attitude. 
  2. Reach Out.  Share your message with others.  By helping others, you will be more motivated to do even bigger things.
  3. Stay Organized.  Keeping track of where you are at on your goals is important.  Put pen to paper, even if it is in a journal. 
  4. Be Good To Yourself.  Take “me” time.  If your home life is busy all the time, treat yourself to a hotel room once in a while. 
  5. Take Action.  Stop with all the “talking” about what you want to do and just do it!
  6. Don’t Go Overboard.  You are only one person.  Take into consideration that you cannot do it all in one day, one week or one month and it’s OK. 
  7. Expectations.  Keep your expectations realisitc.  Maximize your strengths and work on your weaknesses, but keep them all in a realistic perspective.  You are not superman or superwoman!
  8. Complacency.  Do not get stuck incomplacency.   If you dream, dream big!   You can grow as high as you reach, you just have to believe in yourself.

TMF Readers, when we are in motivational mode, we have to remember that wanting something in our lives is not enough.  It’s like watching a soccer match that lasts 90 minutes and the score is 0-0.  It’s all about which team has more hunger.  Your dreams must inspire you.  However, dreams are just that…dreams….they are insufficient if they do not stretch your comfort zone at times. 

Mikhail Baryshnikov once said, “I do not try to dance better than anyone else, I only try to dance better than myself.”  This is my truth.  I just want to dance to my own music, I want to be successful by working at what makes me happy and by being inspired by my dreams.  Being motiviated and checking in with myself to make sure I am where I need to be is starting simple and that is the first step.

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

Share
Filed Under: Renew You Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

REALITY TV CASTING FOR BLENDED FAMILIES

April 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Have you been told your blended family is so dynamic that you should have your own TV show?

NOW CASTING dynamic blended families for their own reality series!!

Major Cable Network is looking to cast Blended Families To Be or Newly Blended Families who want to share their lives with us. We are looking for outgoing, charismatic families to participate. If you are interested in finding out more about this possible opportunity, please email a brief bio on your family or family to be to cbcasts@yahoo.com

Share
Filed Under: Entertainment Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Drama Free Date Night

March 28, 2011 By 4 Comments

It is no surprise that with all the stress of family life, we as couples don’t take enough time out to nuture our marriages and relationships.  In order to grow together as a couple, we have to be able to enjoy one another’s company and we cannot do that with all the distractions that come along with our day-to-day lives.  Of course, our children are important to us but our marriages have to be more important.  That seems odd to think about for most people, but as husbands and wives, we have to accept that in order to be any good to our children as a couple, our marriages and remarriages have to be the first priority.  These times we share alone together not only allow us to grow, but they allow us to rekindle the reason why we fell in love in the first place.

We cannot let the spark die in our (re)marriages.  There is more to it than just “going out” and having time alone.  It’s about sharing your love and creating understanding and feeling the true companionship between the two of you.  For example, remember when you couldn’t wait for a date night with your mate before you got married?  Well, unfortunatley, when we get married, at times we fall into the trap of thinking that all of that has to end because we have a ring on our finger and a piece of paper confirming our status.  Having anticipation for one another doesn’t have to be lost in married life.  If money is an issue, even on a limited budget, you can have a fabulous drama-free date night with your spouse.  The lesson here is that as (re)married couples, we need to continue to courting one another as we did in the beginning in order to seize our marriages and make them all the more fulfilling.

Here are a few ideas to help you along the way:

  1. No kids allowed!  No excuses.  Make an arrangement with a babysitter, and older sibling, a friend or a grandparent.
  2. Catch a  movie or a matinee together. 
  3. Go shopping together!  Your lady will love this one!
  4. Get away for a  night to a hotel just the two of you. 
  5. Set a dinner date night twice a month.  (This can be either at home — after the kids go to bed or out to a restaurant – which would be my preference.

If you are financially strained, here are a few fun options:

  1. Have a date night at home.  Try to arrange the kids to be elsewhere and order pizza and a movie and have at it!
  2. Go for a drive.  My husband and I do this all the time. This may not seem like a date, but being this is semi-free (with the exception of gas), you may be able to splurge for a cheap hotel room for a few hours!  Who says married couples can’t be a bit naughty from time to time.
  3. Begin a project together.  This is another great one that I love.  Say you have been talking about painting that room for a year.  Well, get rid of the kiddos for the evening, buy that gallon of paint and the two of you get at it.  It’s not just something you can make romantic, but it is also improving on something the two of you share, your home.
  4. Cook together.  Decide upon what your menu should be and cook together.  Nothing is more romantic to me than sharing the kitchen and having your husband nuzzle up to your neck while you are both “trying” to concentrate on the menu at hand.
  5. Read a book together, look at old photos, etc.  You can even watch your favorite television programs together or play a board game after the children go to sleep.
  6. Wash the car.  This is very romantic if you make it that way!  Fun fun!
  7. Take a long walk together as often as you can.
  8. Put the music on and dance, dance, dance! 
  9. Go to an old fashioned drive-in movie. 
  10. Plan out your goals together. 

Remember, having a drama free date night is your way of keeping your romance and marriage alive.  Don’t be afraid to show your passion for one another.  It doesn’t take a lot of money, just a commitment to one another.  This commitment is what your children see and learn from.  It is what teaches them what to expect from a healthy marriage.   Reach back to when you first began together, a whole lot of money wasn’t needed to have a fun, romantic and special time together.  As Keith Sweat so eloquently sang…”Make it Last Forever!”

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

Share
Filed Under: Love and Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Listening is an Act of Love

March 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Every marriage and remarriage suffers and struggles to find and learn how to communicate effectively.  Most of us hear our spouses but the question that begs a true answer is this….”Do we truly listen to our spouse?”  Are we really, truly listening to them?  Honestly, every couple that I have ever met with struggles in this area.  We all do.  The reason behind this failure is because we are all a work in progress.  Our marriages and remarriages are constantly evolving and changing.  It’s hard to be on our toes at all times but did you know that listening to our spouses is really one of the most important acts of love?

Sharing what is in our hearts with our spouses is so important.  It’s extra easy to share all of our day-to-day frustrations and what is on the top of our minds, but truly sitting down and sharing what is important to us as spouses seems to be something that we don’t do enough as life partners.  For example, one of the biggest issues I see with couples I meet with is that when they are communicating, one partner might reject the “feelings” of their spouse instead of truly listening and hearing them out.  When this occurs, what your spouse takes from this is that you are basically rejecting them and judging them based on their “feelings.”  Feelings in communication are neither right or wrong.  What you do with your feelings is what creates those right or wrong situations.  There are many advantages to mastering the art of listening in your relationship.  Here are a few advantages:

  • You will achieve a deeper intimacy with your spouse;
  • You will learn the difference between thoughts and emotions and how to respectively deal with both;
  • You will learn to accept that feelings come and go and change quickly;
  • You will learn not to make decisions based on feelings;
  • You gain trust , acceptance, honesty and acceptance from your partner.

Finding the right words is also a very important tool to have in your communication toolbox.  Use words to describe your feelings so that you don’t leave your partner guessing what you are going through.  For example:

  • Abandoned, accepted, alive, aone, aloof, appreciative, attacked, bad, belittled, bitter, closed,  cheated, cheerful, concerned, contempt, controlled, deceived, defensive, doubtful….etc.

While giving you the right words to say, I would be remiss if I didn’t give you the words not to say.  Here are a few examples:

  • WHATEVER.  This is the worst word you can use to effectuate communication.  What you are saying to your spouse when you use the word “whatever” is that you don’t care at all what your spouse is saying.  Essentially, you are saying “you are not important enough to me for me to listen to you.”
  • I DON’T CARE.  This is self-explanatory and just plain rude.  And, if you truly feel this way, you shouldn’t be married or in a relationship where you are required to have communication.
  • DUMB.  Using the word “dumb” is awful.  Basically, you are negating everything your partner is saying by using such a degenerative word.

Talking about your feelings to your partner will improve your overall communication by leaps and bounds.  Marriage is not a guessing game.  Finding the right words and using as many of them as possible to paint a picture for your spouse allows them to see things more clearly and to understand with more clarity exactly how you are feeling.  Remember, the purpose of exploring your partners feelings is to help you to better understand him/her, not to change how they feel.  Accepting how they feel, agreeing to disagree instead of manipulating them to feel as you do only strengthens what you are building.  Listening to one another intently builds trust and longevity.  It is extremely important to remember that in good marriages, both partners continually negotiate and re-negotiate.  Truly listening helps you to accept your partner for who they are and helps you to identify when you need to get on the path of renegotiation.  It helps you to appreciate the person you fell in love with and is a true act of love.

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

Share
Filed Under: Love and Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Finding Value In Your Blended Family

March 19, 2011 By 5 Comments

 ”Our family hit some bumpy roads on this path of life.  It took us a while to get where we are today…I’m sure glad we all took the effort to walk together” Christy Borgeld, Founder of National Stepfamily Day

Bringing two families together with different values and of which are still dealing with feelings of loss is no walk in the park.  To many, the problems that come along with the blended/step family prove to be too much and unfortunately these such examples definitely do not have the makings for prime time television as did the Brady Bunch back in the 70′s. 

Currently, in the United States, the blended family has become some what of the norm.  As divorce rates continue to rise, blended families become more common.  In fact, blended families seem to be the way of the future.  Research has shown that it is estimated that soon there will be more children in stepfamily situations than living with both of their biological parents.

With that, in my opinion, finding value in your stepfamily is essential.  Albeit I know the task at hand can be one of the most challenging you might ever face, think about all of the factors that have to be weighed in the process.  As we all know, children do not ask for divorce or remarriage for that matter.  Usually, they are thrust into this situation, unbeknownst to them, and they just have to learn to live with it and deal with their extreme sense of loss.  I actually just had a long conversation with a very important person in my life, a woman who used to be my very own step-sister during my adolescent years, and she confided in me that one day, all of a sudden, they were just told that her and her two siblings were going on a road trip to a birthday party and they ended up thousands of miles away from their bio father and thrust into a live-in situation and eventual stepfamily.  I, being on the other end of that family, knew that my parents were getting divorced.  I cannot even imagine the feeling of that situation she was in.  With that being said, the losses that all members of the blended family face during these times can be a major contributing factor to the stresses that ensue afterward.  Mix in the ex-spouses and all the financial strain and you have a recipe for disaster.  Hence, anyone would have a hard time finding value in their respective blended families. 

However, being in a blended family has lots of rewards.  Being able to find the value in your blended family is very important.  Here are a few ways to get you started looking in the right direction:

  • Pay attention to the communication skills being used within your family.  Being able to resolve conflict as it arises is essential.  Do your best to have wholesome, genuine communication.  Only focusing on negative communication is counter productive.
  • Make sure you always put your marriage first.  Remember, at the end of the day, the kids will be grown and gone, it will be just you and your spouse.  
  • Build on your differences and use them to make your family stronger. Each individual in the family may be different but will also bring something special to your unit.
  • Remember, first families have an automatic bond, take time to connect with your stepchildren.
  • Recognize that your stepchildren will feel closer to their mom or dad at different times in their developmental years.  This can be stressful to the bio parent and you are going to feel the need to step in.  However, recognize that you can’t fix this for anyone.  This is something that has to work itself out. 

Lastly, it is not an easy feat to build value and to find value in your blended family. However, if you are willing to make sacrifices now to have a strong, happy blended family, you will reap great reward in the long run.

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

Share
Filed Under: Stepfamilies Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Diane’s Shepherd’s Pie

February 21, 2011 By Leave a Comment

TMF Readers, today, for some reason, I have been doing a lot of reflecting.  Reflecting on my childhood and my grandparents and for some odd reason, one thing I could not stop thinking about was the food that I remember being prepared in my mom’s kitchen.  My mom was a single mother from the time I was 10 until the time I was out of high school.  She worked long, hard hours and didn’t make much  money.  We lived on a strict budget but us kids never missed a meal.  She cooked the best she knew how and today, I want to share my “kicked up” version of her Shepherd’s Pie.   I changed it around a bit in order to spruce it up a bit and I actually prepared it tonight for my  mom.   By the way, she loved it and so did my children and husband.  I hope you enjoy!

Ingredients:

12 potatoes peeled and cut into quarters
3 large cloves of garlic
1-1/2 pounds of ground beef
2 Tbsp. flour
2 Tbsp. Ketchup
3/4 cup of beef broth
3 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed
1 cup of sour cream
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Instructions:

Boil potatoes and garlic in boiling water until tender.  Brown ground beef, stir in flour and cook 1 minute.  Add mixed vegetables, broth and ketchup.  Cook 10 minutes, stirring frequently.

Heat oven to 350 degrees; drain potatoes, return to pan.  Add sour cream; mash until potatoes are smooth and mixture is well blended. 

Put meat mixture into a 10×13 inch glass pan; cover with potatoes.  Bake for 15 minute sand then top with remaining cheese and bake until cheese is melted. 

Enjoy!

Share
Filed Under: Renew You, The Modern Kitchen Tagged With: , , , , , ,

No One Can Grow In The Shade!

February 19, 2011 By 4 Comments

“YOU HAVE GOT TO DISCOVER YOU, WHAT YOU DO, AND TRUST IT!”    BARBARA STREISAND

With divorce comes a vast variety of emotions.  Unbeknownst to many of us, our lives have been shaken to it’s core and we are totally unprepared for the challenges that come along with the big  bad enemy we call  D-I-V-O-R-C-E!  To be quite honest, it sucks!  However, as we all know, after every rain shower, there is a rainbow.  The same holds true for life after divorce.  Problem is, we tend to hide from life after divorce.  We tend to decide that we can no longer shine.  We tend to accept what our temporary emotions are telling us and instead of making lemonade out of lemons, we stay stuck.  

TMF Readers, can we talk?  Albeit, divorce and remarriage both have many pitfalls.  If you go to any library in your community you will find many books on the subject.  However, no one book can prepare you for the injury you feel when divorce happens.  With that, today, I want to give you a few tips on learning how to nurture your emotional and personal growth after divorce.  As the title of this post reads, No One Can Grow In the Shade!  What do I mean by this you might ask?  Well, it’s simple.  Staying stuck holds you down.  It keeps you in the dark and forces you to keep assigning blame to yourself instead of truly evaluating the whole big picture.  It keeps you from accepting what has happened and it keeps you from moving on.  It keeps you from discovering the new person that you are and what personal gifts you have been blessed with.

Here are some tips for you to use in your journey:

  • Reflect — but do not dwell.  During my divorce, I kept a journal.  Write down your feelings and leave them there.  Capture what you think went wrong and learn from it.  Using a journal to express yourself keeps you from making the huge mistake of being over-emotional around your children, etc.   It is a form of release. 
  • Rebuild. Divorce can literally suck the life out of you — IF YOU ALLOW IT TO.  Find things you enjoy (i.e., hobbies, personal time, vacations, etc.) and focus on yourself.  In order to rebuild your life, you have to have inner strength and a main component of inner strength is taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally.  Find what you like to do and DO IT!  Take time for the pleasures in life that give you peace. 
  • Eliminate and reduce stress/anxiety.  This may be hard to swallow, but you are divorced.  Yes, it’s over but your life is not.  Worrying about what could have been or what should have been done or what you could have done differently isn’t going to change the fact that you are divorced.  Take time to meditate on you.  Get a massage, hit the gym, find a space in your house that is all yours and relax.  Reduce your stress by writing down your feelings and then decide to move on.   Part of your learning process means you don’t have to make the same mistakes again — that in itself will lessen your anxiety.
  • Fight your fears.  After divorce, people are so afraid to be alone that they, at times, jump from the frying pan to the fryer.  Patience is key.  Being alone doesn’t have to be the big ”fear” everyone makes it out to be.  It is important to have time to redefine yourself.  It is important to have time to rediscover what it is about you that makes you happy.  It is important to reflect on how you can grow from this situation.  You cannot do all of these very important things while at the same time jumping into a new relationship.  It doesn’t and won’t work.  Being alone and giving yourself your own undivided attention will build your self-esteem and self-worth.

TMF Readers, you cannot grow in the shade!  In order to be truly happy, we have to be able to acknowledge and find that WE, as individuals, can fulfill our own needs.  Hence, we can move on with our lives and become a better partner in our future relationships.

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

Share
Filed Under: Single Parent Families, Stepfamilies Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Laughter: An Important Key To Your Relationship!

February 15, 2011 By Leave a Comment

“Laughter gives us distance.  It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on….Bob Newhart”

Isn’t there just something extra special and charming about a man or woman who can make you laugh.  My husband is definitely that man for me.  It’s one of the best traits he has.  Being able to laugh in your relationship adds a completely different and important dimension to your relationship.  It adds to your marriage and gives it that extra zing which comes in handy when tensions arise.

Milton Berle once said that “laughter is an instant vacation.”  Think about that statement and how it relates to our marriages and remarriages.  If we are able to remember that in the instance of an argument we can find something to laugh about then we literally “get away” from the stress and drama of what might be causing our tension.  Laughter is more than an efficient tool to have in our (re)marriage tool box, it is essential to the health and emotional state of same.

Laughter is play and good marriages are playful.  Couples who can laugh at themselves and together are actually much stronger when situations arise between them.  However, keep in mind it is important to have balance when it comes to laughter and joking.  There are lots of ways to bring healthy humor and laughter into your marriage.  Of course it’s important to remember that sometimes humor can hurt if it isn’t used properly so here are a few tips to guide you along the way:

  • Be more aware of humorous moments together
  • Be playful together; playing brings on laughter
  • Reflect back on the funny situations that have happened in the past with you and your partner
  • Keep your humor clean when it comes to your spouse.  Don’t offend.
  • Your humor should never be at your spouse’s expense (i.e., joking about weight and/or how they look in general.  That is hurtful.

My husband is not just my life partner, but my lover, my shoulder to cry on, my best friend and my security blanket.  If I have a bad day at work or with a friend, he always has a reason to make me laugh out of the situation.  He has an uncanny ability to make me smile even if I don’t feel like it — I really think it’s because he loves to see my big dimples when I smile (only because he tells me that all the time).  I guess I could have married a stuffy-shirted serious man but I don’t think I would have had near as much fun as I have with my husband. 

Life can be as funny as we make it out to be.  Look for laughter in your daily experiences and share them with your spouse and/or significant other.  Humor in our relationships builds trust and mutual respect.  Take it from me, the benefits are enormous.  Let’s get to more laughter TMF Readers.  Your relationship is worth it!

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

Share
Filed Under: Love and Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
«Older Posts