“Change is the Law of Life.  Those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

John F. Kennedy

Definition of Self:  Yourself.

Definition of Esteem:  A fancy word for thinking that someone or something is important.

Self-esteem is a basic human need.  It is an essential contribution to the life process.  So, let’s face it, change, even within ourselves is hard, especially when our self-esteem is damaged.  Self-esteem is a topic being discussed on almost every self-help website, on numerous talk shows and in discussion forums of the like and is a subject of importance.  Most issues that damage a person’s self-esteem are due to their personal life experiences and actually can fluctuate on a daily basis.  Some examples may include how a husband or boyfriend may treat you, down to how your employer or friend may treat you.  Even within the blended family, having a bout of “hard times” can have a huge impact on your self-esteem.

Research has shown that low self-esteem is one of the main contributing factors in depression in young teens, girls and boys alike.  99% of the time, our childhood experiences shape our self-esteem.  In children, the experience of divorce can play a major role in low self-esteem.  Another factor in good or low self-esteem in children is how they are treated by their teachers, coaches, parents and peers.   Everyone knows someone that has had a teacher or coach or member of their immediate family say something to them that has always stuck with them; not knowing that one statement can affect their self-worth for the rest of their lives.

Self-esteem is not just a concept of our personality but an essential main ingredient to our own self-worth.  In order for it to grow and flourish, we have to have balance in our lives.   Part of maintaining that balance is change.  Whether that means changing our daily routines or changing the way we think altogether.  Having a healthy life and self-esteem is based on our ability to accurately know ourselves.   Part of knowing ourselves is also being able to accept who we are and to value ourselves regardless of our flaws.   Accepting who we are and changing that way of thinking in turn allows a person to value their worth without conditions or reservations.

Changing the way you think will challenge the negative messages that those with low self-esteem deal with.  Here are some suggestions:

1.  Be reassuring with yourself (i.e., instead of criticizing your project say “I’m proud of myself for working that hard and I really like it”) or (instead of being sore about a bad grade on a test, think “Ok, I didn’t do well this time, but I will study harder next time to make a better grade.”)

2.  Be objective!

3.  Challenge unrealistic situations.  Don’t assume.

4.  Practice Self-Nurturing

(a)  Get enough sleep
(b)  Exercise
(c)  Eat healthy

5.  Remind yourself of  your strengths and do not focus so much on your weaknesses.

6.  Forgive yourself.

7.  Ask your husband, wife or friend to remind you that they love you.

8.  Ask for lots of hugs.

9.  Believe in yourself.

“Believe it until you can achieve it!”   You deserve the best, treat yourself that way and you will believe in yourself.

Life happens around us so fast that we forget to nurture ourselves.  It’s almost as if we live transparent lives.  Don’t forget to take time to live, build and change because after all, as President Kennedy so eloquently stated, Change is the Law of Life.

Peace and Blessings,
Di