Work-at-Home Moms

Whether you are a mom in a modern or biological/nuclear family, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a work-at-home mom, you have a tough balancing act to perform.  Balancing work life and family life separately is a daunting task, but for work-at-home moms  (and I personally know a few great women who make working at home a part of their daily lives) who walk a fine line daily in order to balance work and family life.  Let’s face it, us traditional working mothers are often times envious of the proverbial “stay-at-home” mom and we talk about how work-at-home moms have the best of both worlds and how it is so easy.  Granted, they do have the best of both worlds, but at a price.  Believe me, I have seen it first hand and quite honestly, although staying with my children and having the flexibility to work from home would be great, I’m not sure I could be as well organized as these women are.

Being a work-at-home mom is tough.  Trying to juggle day-to-day work activities and changing pampers at the same time isn’t always a conducive way to get things done.  However, these courageous moms find a way.  I have watched women conduct conference calls, take notes, schedule meetings,  nurse a baby, send a spreadsheet via email and put the baby down for a nap all in one afternoon.

Remember the “price” I spoke about above?  Albeit unfairly, most work-at-home moms will experience challenging pressures while walking that tightrope.  At times, husbands will take for granted the special skills their wives possess and at other times will confuse working at home with staying at home.   This especially holds true if maybe a wife was once a full-time working mom and stepped out on faith to become an entrepreneur.  During tough economic or stressful times, these women may be made to feel as if their contribution to the family has waned, which in turn causes resentment in both husband and wife. This is just one example of the ”price” some work-at-home moms pay to have the best of both worlds.  Another example is the pressures of finding balance of mixing work with family life.  Most of these women are up at the crack of dawn and don’t lie down until the wee hours of the morning in order to get work done just to start over again the next day.  Let’s not forget that nothing stops that toddler or infant from waking up in the middle of your conference call, the dishes still have to get done, the laundry folded and dinner prepared.  Granted, at the end of the day, some will say that these women “signed up” for their jobs so they should just handle the pressures that come along with it and be grateful that they can stay home with their children and make money at the same time.  Yes, they signed up for their jobs, but they also work their behinds off and deserve support from their family members and friends but especially from their spouses.

Research shows that in the past 10 years, there are more women entreprenuers (a lot of which are work-at-home moms) than ever before and the numbers are continuing to grow.  Women want to and can do both!  So, TMF husbands who have the blessing of having work-at-home wives, throw your support behind the great women you have in your lives.  I challenge you to walk that tightrope for one day and step in your wives shoes.  I can promise you will be simply amazed at their talents.  These women deserve kudos!  They are doing it all and their efforts should not go unnoticed.

Today’s Modern Family says “hats off” to all of you work-at-home moms who are doing it all.  Especially those who also balance the blended family as well.  Keep up the good work!

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Healthy Inner Living Part II: Befriending Yourself

“Where Am I when I need ME the MOST?………..Mugs Holifield”

There were so many good chapters in Sue Patton Thoele’s book, “The Courage to be a Step-Mom” that I had to share some more of her knowledge with our BFSO readers.

In reading this book, I realized through her writings that for women, true friendship is not something we just “want or desire” it is something we absolutely “need” and is necessary for our own healthy well-being.  Our girlfriends build us up when we are down, they catch us when we fall, they stand beside us and support our dreams, our needs and even our “silliness” as Ms. Thoele says.  They celebrate with us, mourn with us during times of grief and a lot of the times help to anchor us as women.

Ms. Thoele posed the following question in her book that had me really doing a lot of my own soul searching and exploring:  We have our “friends” but are we the same friend to ourselves? As she did, I ask you BFSO readers the following:

1. Are you encouraging rather than critical?
2. Do you matter-of-factly accept your mistakes as opportunities to learn valuable lessons from?
3. Are you gentle and kind to yourself?
4. Do you surround yourself with like-minded people?
5. Do you honor yourself for who and what you are?

These are just a few, but ask yourself these questions.  If your answers are in the affirmative, then you are being a true friend to yourself.  One of the most important things you can do is to be your OWN FRIEND FIRST – LOVE YOURSELF – and, then, and only then, will loving others be so much more rewarding for you.

In her book she also talks about “filling up our reservoirs.”  In our daily lives, if we do not “fill up” we run the risk of draining ourselves emotionally and physically.   I can relate as  my calendar is so packed at times, I feel like pulling my hair out — TIME TO TAKE  ME TIME!   Learn that YOU ARE NOT INDESPENSIBLE! You will be surprised at how well your children, your husbands and your family members can do without you for a day, an evening, or even a weekend!  You will have nothing left for anyone if you do not tend to your own needs and take care of yourself.  DO NOT LOSE YOUR SELF-IDENTITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS!

Lastly, being good to ourselves sets an awesome example for our children.  It teaches them to take care of themselves as well as teaching them self-confidence, self-esteem and SELF-WORTH!  As I previously stated, after reading this chapter, I re-read it again.  I have often allowed myself to become overwhelmed as a mother, wife, legal assistant to my boss…..the list goes on.  Most of us women/mothers have been guilty.  Stay strong and balanced.  The most important message we can send to our children is that it’s OKAY to VALUE  YOURSELF!   Stay strong ladies and gentlemen (this goes for you too!)

Peace and Blessings,
Di