I am so proud of the huge strides that my blended family has made over the years. My ex and I and our spouses don’t always agree on everything, but we definitely co-parent well together. When disagreements arise, we either work together to reach some sort of compromise or we agree to disagree and move on. More importantly, we don’t stew over the disagreements and allow them to affect doing what’s best for our children. We have truly established what I like to call a synergistic foundation. We are separate parts of the whole who all work together for our children. We don’t intrude upon each others’ lives and have established a mutual respect for the roles that we respectively play in our son’s life.
Recently, we reached another milestone in our respective families; both my ex’s wife and I had beautiful babies who are only months apart. We have all always encouraged and fully supported the sibling relationships in our family. My ex and his wife have embraced my husband’s son (my son’s stepbrother) and my husband and I have embraced their son (my son’s half brother). And now, we have been super supportive of the newest additions to our blended family; a baby girl and a baby boy! To us, they are all just brothers and sister.
The most positive and beneficial result of all of this is the obvious joy that this has brought to my son. I’ve never wanted him to feel like he had to choose who he had to love, be it his parents or siblings and I am so grateful that he doesn’t have to. He truly loves us all and has a unique relationship with each of us. This is all because we have ALL worked together! No matter how difficult it gets at times (as I stated earlier, we don’t always agree), we clearly are all committed to making it work for our children. After all, when it’s all said and done and the parents leave this earth, our children will be left to spend Christmas, Thanksgiving and any other important occasion together. I am so glad that we’ve build a solid foundation for them to stand on in the future.
This is my personal testimony that it is possible to blend a family in a HEALTHY way! Stepmom doesn’t have to give up who she is, be anyone’s doormat or feel under appreciated. Ex-wife and stepmom don’t have to spend every waking moment together. Ex-wives don’t have to be territorial or intrusive. Ex-spouses don’t have to do weekly dinners or vacation together and no one has to hate each other or be manipulative. It is possible to have healthy remarriages AND co-parent well with both biological parents and step-parents. If you put the right ingredients into your family blender; respect, honesty, love, compromise (without totally compromising yourself) and acceptance, then your stepfamily can also evolve into a blended family. We are proof of that and I am so proud of us!