Simplifying the Holidays-Part II

Is there anything simple about the holidays?  For most of us, the holidays provide us with some of our most precious memories but along with that also some very stressful moments.  With that being said, I wanted to talk about stress, shortcuts and finally relief so that you can do exactly what you want this season and that is make those memories and simplify, simplify, simplify!

Let’s talk about some shortcuts that will lead us to that ever important relief.   One thing that really begins my stress is right after Thanksgiving, I am thinking about my Christmas card list.

Shortcut:  E-Cards.  Sending e-cards is an easy alternative to the stress of getting a holiday picture, writing out cards and not to mention the expense of mailing same.  Sending e-cards may not be as personal as some may like, but it is definitely less stressful and, in my opinion, that is reason enough to use this shortcut.  In fact, during this economic downturn, I am noticing more and more folks are using e-cards, including many businesses.

Another thing to take into consideration during the holidays is remembering not to do too much.  Moderation is the key word.  Try not to overdo your schedule.  Don’t pack too much into your day.

Shortcut:  To Do List.  Too much of a good thing, whether it be the holidays or not, is not too good for you.  Drafting a “to-do list” and sticking to it will help you navigate your priorities during the season.   Incorporating the “to-do” list will relieve you from the feeling stressed and instead leave you feeling like you accomplished exactly what you set out to do.

As we all know, the holidays can become very commercialized.  The holiday season is meant to bring togetherness and love and sometimes we tend to forget how important it is not to focus on just what we “receive or give” but to remember why we are really celebrating.  Don’t overspend.  The price tag isn’t important.  What is important is how we create our memories.

Shortcut:  Set a Spending Limit.  This year, we decided to set and stick to a spending limit.  Obviously, your limit is entirely up to your individual financial situation.  Another great shortcut in this area is to give out homemade gifts.  I, myself, do this every year.  I change the recipients each year but for me, it feels extra-special to do something personal for someone.

Believe it or not, due to incorporating these shortcuts, I am pretty much done with all of my Christmas shopping and it’s not even Thanksgiving.  Granted, this took a lot of organization on my part this year, but instead of stressing all the way into the month of December, I wanted to make sure I was ahead of the game so that I could enjoy a stress-free season.

I hope that all of you will incorporate these stress relievers so that you can get outside, enjoy the season and all that it includes.  Get to the real fun and that is making memories with your children, decorating, baking and loving the holidays!

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

Simplifying The Holidays-Part I

The holiday season is my favorite time of the year.  However, trying to organize can be an uphill battle.  This year, I have decided to post a series called Simplifying the Holidays with this post being Part I.   Today, shopping has been heavy on my mind — well, it’s always on my mind, but holiday shopping is different.  As I was perusing one my very favorite websites www.mymerrychristmas.com, I came across a fabulous blog post by B. Francis Morlan on the subject of Black Friday where she gives 5 very good reasons why us saavy shoppers should avoid it.  I was amazed!  Yes, TMF Readers, in the past, I have been part of the thousands that hit the stores as early as 3:00 a.m. waiting in line for a good deal on the day after Thanksgiving.  However, after reading these five tips, I may just decide to forego this year and get my highly underrated sleep in!  I hope you enjoy the article as much as I did. 

To the savvy shopper we advise: stop. Sleep in. Forget about the so-called big deals.

Here are five reasons to avoid Black Friday:

1. The Big Deals Aren’t That Big a Deal – A 36-inch flat screen television for $300 might see like a mighty tempting deal. So too that $200 laptop. The deals even might seem crazy enough to cause you to camp out on concrete for 24-hours or more in sub-zero weather. Don’t buy into it. A cheap laptop is just that – cheap. Chances are it won’t last until next Thanksgiving. And if you’re going to make a purchase for a major appliance chances are you’ll find a better deal on what you really want in October, especially in electronics. That is when merchants want to really clear the shelves to make room for holiday merchandise.

2. Biggest Bait-n-Switch Day of the Year – Every ad is going to say “limited to quantities on hand”. Often, especially for the more attractively priced stuff, those quantities are very limited. 50 laptops for a line of 1000 people are not going to last long. Retailers love getting people in with a low price – and then showing them alternatives after selling out on the hot stuff within minutes. With crowds anxious for a deal the percentages are in their favor that a shopper looking for a bargain – any bargain – in the competitive rush of early morning shopping is going to drop money on something they didn’t intend to buy.

3. Great Price, No Rain Checks – For many retailers standing in that line in the near-winter weather means nothing. Yes, they’ve got great prices advertised. But once they are out they are out – and unlike ordinary everyday sales Black Friday sales offer no guarantee, no overstock and no rain checks.

4. Better Deals Online – Start shopping online the Monday before Thanksgiving. Online retailers want to cash in on Black Friday too and they work a lot harder during Thanksgiving week to get your attention and your money. Amazon in particular has refined the art of getting folks to stay in their jammies to shop – at all hours, too. And there’s no shoving online.

5. Holiday Return Policies Kick In – just as the deals on Black Friday are an exception so too are the holiday return policies. Some retailers will only let you return product at the sale price – regardless of whether or not you have a receipt. Others are charging now a “re-stocking fee”. Investigate the return policy before you spend – by law they have to post it.

The best way to avoid Black Friday is to do your shopping well in advance of the holiday shopping season. The deals are exceptional from just before Labor Day to Halloween. Retailers are clearing out early year models and marking down to drive sales traffic. They have to. Mid-September to mid-November is one of the weakest shopping periods of the year. And there are deals aplenty.

Black Friday is festive event, sure enough, and for many just spending time with family and friends amongst the chaos is fun in and of itself. And if that’s your thing, great – just leave the wallet and especially the credit cards at home.

Diane’s Easy & Scrumptious Pumpkin Pie

TMF Readers, with the holidays quickly approaching, I wanted to give you a few really quick recipes that will make your life in the kitchen so much easier. 

One of my great childhood memories is that of a good piece of pumpkin pie.  Needless to say, I have been indulging already by getting a jump start on my baking.  Below is my fool-proof pumpkin pie recipe.  It is lovely, quick and yummy.  Enjoy!

Ingredients:

1 frozen pie shell (or you can make your own crust if you dare venture)
1 – 16 oz can of pureed pumpkin
1 – 14 oz can of sweet & condensed milk
(you can also use evaporated milk plus 1 cup of sugar if you don’t want to use sweet & condensed milk, but I like my pie more luscious)
2 eggs
1 teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice (or, you can substitute with 1/4 teaspoon of ground cloves, 1/2 teaspoon of nutmeg, 1/2 teaspoon of ginger and 1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon).

Directions:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Beat eggs, add pumpkin, sweet & condensed milk and spices and beat until smooth.  Pour batter into pie shell and bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes.  Reduce the heat down to 350 degrees and cook for an additional 35-40 minutes.  Allow to completely cool on a baking rack and serve with whipped cream. 

Happy Holidays!

Personal Thanks to Our Readers!

Hi Readers!

I hope you all had  a very Happy Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving with my husband, children, brother, sister-in-law, nieces, nephews, mom and a host of cousins was absolutely wonderful. It was also my baby boy’s first Thanksgiving and I was happy that he could be surrounded by family. Incidentally, I want to share with you a little something that my firstborn said while riding in the car to see the downtown Christmas lights today. Often times, he just fires out these statements without any proding or prompting; just thoughts in his very mature, analytical head that come out just because.

  “You know what mom and dad (he calls my husband dad), I have A LOT of family! I have you two and your sides of the family, my other dad and other mom and their sides of the family and brothers and a sister and I love it,” he said.

To which we replied by telling him how absolutely fortunate he is to feel loved by and to give love to, so many people. It warmed my heart to know that this is what he thinks about, from time to time and shares for no reason at all. This is what he feels because of what we [his parents] are conveying to him, and I think to myself – gosh, we must be do something right. I’m not saying we’re perfect because we all have had our share of disagreements and strife, but we’ve done our best to work them out AND we’ve shielded him from any conflict that could have been damaging long-term. Instead, he sees a family that loves him and works together; and yes, a family that experiences conflict, from time to time. However, he also witnesses us (parents and co-parents) putting our heads together to work it out and for this, I am thankful for.

I am also thankful for all of you! Thanks to all of my readers and supporters of Today’s Modern Family. Thank you for sharing your stories and allowing me to share mine. Thanks for venting your frustrations and allowing me to do the same. Thanks for listening and thanks for making others feel as if they are not alone on their respective journeys. More importantly, thanks for opening my mind to new perspectives. I enjoy learning from and I appreciate each and every one of you!

~Kela

CARAMEL-GLAZED APPLE CHUNK CAKE

This recipe is one of my personal favorite recipes for this beautiful time of year. It is perfect for Thanksgiving and Christmas (along with some good vanilla, cinnamon or butter pecan ice cream) or just because you like cake!

Enjoy and lots of Blessings!
Di

Ingredients:

Cake:
2-1/2 c., plus 1 T. flour
1-1/4 t. cinnamon
¼ t. freshly grated nutmeg*
1 t. each baking soda, salt
1 c. vegetable oil
2 c. sugar
3 large eggs
1-1/2 t. vanilla extract
3 T. orange juice
1-1/2 large Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and
cut into ½ inch chunks, about 3-1/2 cups
(any tart apple can be used)
1 cup chopped pecans

Glaze:
1 stick unsalted butter
1 c. packed light brown sugar
¼ c. heavy cream

Preheat oven to 350º. Generously grease a 12-cup capacity (10-inch) Bundt cake pan; lightly dust with fl our and set aside.  Sift flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking soda and salt.  Set aside.Beat oil, sugar, eggs, and vanilla for three minutes.  Add sifted ingredients and orange juice and mix until combined.  Toss apples and pecans with remaining tablespoon of flour and stir into batter.  Mixture will be very thick.  Add to pan and smooth surface.  Bake about one hour until toothpick comes out clean.

While cake is baking, bring all glaze ingredients to a simmer in a small saucepan for three minutes, uncovered.  When cake is done, let it rest on cooling rack for five minutes.  Invert onto a cooling rack placed over a sheet of foil or wax paper.  Brush warm cake with glaze, reapplying glaze as it drips onto the foil.

Note: If you do not want to make the glaze, you could drizzle a little store-bought caramel sauce over it or just top it with some sifted powdered confectioner’s sugar.

*If you have never used freshly grated nutmeg-try it!  The flavor is so much better than nutmeg in a jar and it is very easy to do.

Fabulous, Easy Cranberry Sauce

Don’t pick up that nasty canned cranberry sauce this year!  Try my never fail recipe this Thanksgiving and you will be hooked.

Diane’s Cranberry Sauce

Ingredients:

1 cup of sugar
1 (12 ounce) package fresh cranberries
1 cup of dried cranberries
1 cup of orange juice
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon of ground nutmeg

Directions:

In a medium saucepan, bring orange juice and sugar to a boil until sugar is completely dissolved.  Reduce heat to simmer and stir in package of cranberries, salt and spices.  Cover and simmer for 30 minutes until cranberries burst.  Add 1 cup of dried cranberries at the end.  Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature.

This is so yummy and WAY better than the canned stuff.  Simple, easy and homemade for your Holiday season.

Peace & Blessings,
Di

What Are You Thankful For?

During the holidays more than any other time of the year, we tend to reminisce of days gone by and we focus on what we are most thankful for.  Although I am thankful every single day for my family and friends, I am especially thankful for the woman pictured at left.  My Grandma Blackwell.  Well, actually, she is my husband’s Grandmother but she and I were divinely placed in one another’s lives as God knew I needed her so badly as both of my Grandmother’s have passed on and I miss them dearly.  Grandma is 86 years young and in my very biased opinion is the source for all things sweet.  Not just in my life but our entire family.  She is the mother of 6, the Grandmother of more than double figures and the Great-Grandmother to so many I can’t even count.  To this day, when we all gather together, Grandma still cooks, bakes and makes sure all the little ones have extra-special goodies and she never lets you leave her house without dipping in her special candy drawer.  Having survived times of deprivation, Grandma knows the importance of a little “sugar” in life and she makes it her mission that her grandchildren and now great-grandchildren never have to do without it.  Just today, while visiting her, she made me 4 bags of caramel corn all for myself and I am 43 years young!  It’s just that extra special love that she gives us that make us feel just as special to her.

Grandma Blackwell lived through some of the most important times in our history and when she tells me her stories about life back in the 1930′s, 40′s, 50′s and 60′s, I am in complete awe.  She lived through the depression, the civil rights movement and has out-lived 4 of her 6 children.  I listen to her like I am reading a extraordinary book that I cannot put down.  Our usual sit-downs consist of me sitting at the kitchen table, talking with her about current events and/or whatever might be bothering me that day.  I can always count on her for solutions, old-school style.  As we talk, I watch her beautifully wrinkled hands create a meal out of scratch, of course, and as I sit in awe I only hope that I can be the inspiration one day to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren that she is to all of us.

Grandma has taught me so much about love, life, struggle and joy.  Did I mention that our family is very much a blended one.  We have step-grandchildren and adopted from birth grandchildren and Grandma gives her awe-inspiring love to every single one of us.  When she is done telling a us a story, even if the ending isn’t always happy, she finds a way to bring a positive message.  I can only pray that I turn out to be half the woman she is.  To me, she is the source of all things sweet in my life and she is one of the most important people that I am thankful  for.

TMF Readers, what are you most thankful for?  Tis the Season for joy, peace and thankfulness.  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Peace & Blessings,
Di

Step-Mom’s Guide To A Stress-Free Holiday Season

Never fear….Holiday stress and anxiety is here! As the holidays quickly approach, some of you stepmoms may be feeling  stress not just over the usual holiday cooking and baking rituals, shopping, gift-giving, etc., but also over issues that usually come along within the blended family during the holidays. Coordinating schedules, decorating, colliding traditions, step-sibling rivalry and separation anxiety that some children feel having to be away from one bio parent or the other during the holidays can make an already stressful season even more stressful.  At times, this can cause stress within your direct unit because your spouse may also get bent around the axle in dealing with these same issues.

During the holidays some of you may feel like crawling into a hole because of the chaos even though it is supposed to be the happiest time of the year.  Stepmoms especially have to remember to try to adopt stress-free holiday strategies not just to avoid that stress and chaos, but to enjoy this special time with family.  Here are a few stress buster ideas for you step-moms:

Create Your Own Traditions and Keep Some Old One’s Too.  As we know as stepmothers, we are often looked past during special occasions.  Sometimes we even feel like we are outsiders at certain family events.  I say, create your own traditions.  Make your own memories.  Trying to live up to all of the old traditions your step kids may have had before you were in the picture will only make you feel more lonely and uncomfortable.  However, totally eliminating them altogether is equivalent to throwing out all that is familiar to your step-children.

You Won’t Please Everyone.  This is an impossible task and not worth the effort during the holidays or any other time.  Trying to do this will only stack the stress higher.

Create a Checklist.  Pre-planning is essential in order to stay sane during the holiday season, especially if you are charged with hosting one of the important events such as Christmas Eve dinner.  Creating and using your checklist will alleviate stress and allow you to be more accommodating.  I do know from the clients I have personally coached, that the one real stress factor on children during the holidays is where they will spend Christmas.  Encourage your spouse to pre-plan ahead with his ex-spouse.  Encouragement, however, doesn’t mean taking on that particular issue yourself.  Let the bio-parents work it out.

Have Realistic Expectations.  If you are a new to the blended family, I’ll be honest, there will be disappointments during the holidays.  However, the unexpected also brings the expected as well,  happiness, joy and cheer.  Accept that things won’t be perfect and don’t overdo yourself.  This in and of itself will lessen your load and allow you to strive for grace and will alleviate stress.

Every woman who has the grand opportunity to be a stepmother knows that being a stepmom is not for the faint of heart, can be one of the most challenging opportunities you will face and can be an even harder job than being a mother.  However, for me, it has been one of the best things that has ever happened in my life and has been and will continue to be a journey that I would gladly do over again.  The holidays can be a huge adjustment for us stepmoms, but we can do it with grace, joy and a little eggnog!

Have a Happy Holiday Season,
Di

Thanksgiving Day Emergencies!

Call 911….or at least Mom or Grandma!  I know that every person responsible for the grand Thanksgiving Day meal has had their share of last-minute emergencies.  My own have been a variety to say the least.  I know Kela has had hers as well.  Last year, she took on the daunting task of going not so traditional and doing Lamb as her main course.  The lamb turned out great, but she was worried it wouldn’t be done in time.  My worst experience came when I cooked my first Thanksgiving meal.  I left the bag with the giblets, heart, etc. in the turkey and baked it right along with Mr. Tom Turkey….I had no idea there was  a bag in the turkey, why would I?  It was my first time cooking.

Many friends of mine have made the god awful mistake of not thawing the Turkey out in time, burning the Turkey and even running out of Turkey!  So, readers, let us in on your secrets.  What was your craziest 911 Thanksgiving emergency?  We’d love to hear them and might even have a few tips and tricks for you as well.

So, for all you cooks out there, I can’t wait to hear your funny stories.

Happy Gobbling!

Diane

Stress-Free Holiday Tips for the Modern Family

Just the word “Holidays” can cause stress in and of itself. Mix in the blended family and instead of having “Tis the Season,” you have “Tis the Stress.”

The holidays often causes chaos between ex-spouses because schedules and calendars clash, communication stalemates and overall frustrations become overwhelming not only for parents but especially for the children involved. Children tend to feel guilt for the parent that they do not get to spend the holidays with that year and they are often shifted and shuffled around traveling so much during this season due to so much hyper-calendaring, that they end up not actually enjoying their holiday time at all like they should.

With ex-spouses, just the question of where their child is to spend Christmas Eve and morning can cause major stress. Some non-custodial parents feel as if the custodial parent naturally assumes that he/she should always have the first right to those special dates and custodial parents often find it very hard to accept that their children will be away from them during the holidays because they are with them most of the year and it just seems un-natural to them.

There are several ways to avoid these stress filled situations during the holidays. Obviously, you have to set priorities on your childrens’ schedules to accommodate both parents and both parents need to take into consideration that they each love the child equally and want to spend quality holiday time as well with the child. Obviously, if your divorce decree or court order spells out your holiday visitation then that is the best way to handle discrepancies—stick to the order. If you and your ex-spouse have created your own sharing plan for the holidays and it works for the both of you and your child, then by all means, keep doing what works for all of you. But, if you are one of the many people who do not have a set holiday plan, here are a few tips to make things a bit easier:

1. Involve all parents/members in the calendaring events (i.e., church services, musical performances and plays, school events, etc.)

2. If you split the holidays with your ex-spouse, try to always remember that each one of you loves your child equally and wants to share equal time during this special time. Talk and communicate ahead of time. Do not wait until the last minute. Do your best not to argue about the other parent in the child’s presence.  Instead, go out of your way to let them know that he/she has 2 great parents that love them unconditionally and equally.

3.  Create traditions that include all members of your blended family within your household.  Traditions build bonds.

4.  Always have your step-children sign your family Christmas cards.  Never send them out without including their signature.

5.  Have realistic expectations.  Remember, money and gifts cannot buy love.  Having quality time builds bonds and strengthens love.  Not just during the holidays, but always.

6.  Incorporate your children and step-children’s ideas about new and old traditions and embrace their input.

7.  Find a good holiday routine and stick with it.  Children thrive on consistency.

No blended family is perfect and the holiday season, at times, can bring out the worst in people who are in traditional/nuclear families.  With that being said, it is understandable that the blended family will experience the same challenges and then some.  However, if you commit to having a “stress-free” holiday season while navigating through the same, I am certain you will find yourself more relaxed and better able to enjoy all of the peace and joy the holiday season brings us.

Happy Holidays,

Di

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