Begin 2012 In Style!

Let’s start the New Year off right when it comes to preparing you to be “on trend” with your style. Color is always important but it is even more important to wear what looks best on you (always trumps a trend – always!) but it is also good to know what is going on around you when it comes to trends and how to adapt them to fit you and your own personal style.

PANTONE (here comes the legal jargon directly quoted from their web site) is the world-renowned authority on color and provider of color systems and leading technology for the selection and accurate communication of color across a variety of industries. The PANTONE® name is known worldwide as the standard language for color communication from designer to manufacturer to retailer to customer. They have chosen “the it” color of 2012 – drum roll please . . . 17-1463 Tangerine Tango!!! For most, this means a subsidiary of orange. For the fashion community we wait with baited breath like we are waiting to hear the award for best picture at the Oscars each and every year – then cheer with glee when it is finally revealed. After that the race is on to find things in our own closets (and those close to us) that are in this hot new shade. If none prevail then it’s a shopping we must go.

I know you are thinking “oh goodness I don’t look good in anything orange”. I did too! What I did cheerfully find was that I did like this Tangerine Tango color and that I didn’t look half bad in it either. There are so many ways to incorporate this latest “it” color into your wardrobe without having to wear it from head to toe. Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize!

1.   Skinny belt – the perfect way to add a splash of color to the LBD (Little Black Dress) or to any neutral without going overboard. Plus a skinny belt is “in” right now in itself.

2.   Statement Jewelry.  Adding statement jewelry in the latest color to spruce up any outfit and, again, look like you have known for days what the hottest color of the year is.

3.   Scarves.  There are endless ways to wear scarves – which leads me to my next point. Find a scarf with the color incorporated in it and pair it (in your hair, around your waist, in a feminine bow around your neck) with a white T, jeans, and a hot hot shoe. Or find a scarf that is entirely one color and add it around the strap of your handbag for a “pop” of color with any ensemble.

4.   Shoes.  My very favorite piece of fashion fame is the shoe. Oh how I adore shoes —but I must digress. Grab a shoe with the “it” color in it or go bold and get a shoe that IS the “it” color and use it to jazz up a monochromatic look – all black, all white, all grey, all beige, – you get the point. My preference is a 6” platform but flats are a great way to stay comfy and in style at the same time.

5.   Handbags.  Don’t forget the clutch! Pick up an adorable clutch handbag and you will find out fast that not only are you so chic but you don’t need as much in your purse as you thought – new year new outlook.

6.   Cosmetics.  Go crazy and try this shade in a new lip gloss or lip stick. Make-Up is one of the greatest accessories and it comes off if you don’t like it – no harm no foul right?

Fashion and personal style is all about having fun above all. Remember to go with what feels right and what makes you happy. You are the one who has to wear it and you want items that make you feel amazing every time you put them on.

Julia Rutland
Aesthetic Design Style House

Julia Rutland is the Founder and Owner of Aesthetic Design Style House located in Indianapolis, Indiana.  For more information about Julia, her company and the services she has to offer, please visit her website at: www.aestheticdesignstyle.com.

Hollywood = Splitsville?

There’s no hiding the fact that it seems like every time we  turn around we are hearing about another Hollywood couple splitting.  Unfortunately, in late 2011, we heard about the break up of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.  This was particularly a disappointment for me because I found them to be one of of the coolest “blended family” marriages out there.  I loved they way they were able to incorporate such a great co-parenting relationship with Bruce Willis.  I’m sure you all have heard the rumors but supposedly, Demi and Ashton’s ”open marriage” arrangement ended up going sour.

Now, this week, we hear that it is splitsville for Russell Brand and Katy Perry.  When I initially heard this, my first response was “Darn it!”  I happen to adore this couple.  However, according to Mail Online, sources close to the couple have said the couple are splitting due to Katy’s desire to put her career before having children.  Being this is a personal choice, I will say I will remain mum on the subject because, at least, they didn’t have children and then decided to divorce.

As I like to say, choice, especially in our relationships is one of the key components to making any relationship last.  If we cannot see the difference between our choices, whether good or bad, it will produce a consequence.  Unfortunately, in these two marriages, in my opinion, the stress of Hollywood made for some choices that weren’t too cohesive to their marital units.

Have a great 2012!

Diane

The Friends/Family Balance

This article was first published by Cynthia Hanson of Life and Beauty Weekly

The Beatles got it right: You can get by with a little help from your friends. Trouble is it’s tough to get their support if you don’t see them! So what to do when you haven’t had a girls’ night out in ages or your job leaves you feeling like you don’t have energy for your loved ones? Make a plan to get your life in a balance that includes both friends and family.

“Research shows that maintaining friendships increases longevity and boosts the immune system,” says Andrea Bonior, a licensed clinical psychologist in Washington, D.C., and author of The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing, Losing and Keeping up With Your Friends. “But it’s hard for many women to prioritize friendships because they don’t seem as crucial as our families, jobs and responsibilities.” Follow this stress-less plan to strike a better balance and stay connected with all the important people in your life.

1. Don’t settle for Facebook newsfeeds.

“Me” time is vital to self-care — and self-care is crucial to staying in balance and having the energy you need for your family. “Give yourself permission to talk on the phone with a friend or do something fun together — even if you have to plan it four weeks in advance,” says Bonior. “You may feel like you keep up with friends over Facebook, but you’re not getting the same emotional connection when you’re clicking and commenting on links. You need more sustained, face-to-face contact or voice contact.”

2. Keep family time separate.

Does your friend always call when you’re getting your preschooler ready for bed? Or when you and your husband are trying to relax after dinner? Solution: Be assertive and set boundaries.

“It’s OK to screen your calls and tell friends that your evenings are family time,” says Joyce Marter, a psychotherapist and owner of Urban Balance LLC, a multisite counseling practice in Chicago. Let friends know when you’re free to dish — perhaps on your lunch hour or before you leave work. That way you won’t miss their latest news or your game of Monopoly with the kids.

3. Set a standing date.

It’s hard to coordinate a meet-up with a friend when your kids’ activities keep you hopping and chores keep you busy on weekends. Choose a day and time that fit your lifestyles and workloads — perhaps coffee at 3 p.m. on Wednesday, or brunch on the third Sunday of every month. Then stick to it, just as you would stick to a spinning class.

“Standing dates are also a good way to get a group of three or four friends together,” says Bonior. “It gets drilled into your brain that it’s something you want to do and should do.” Plus, by having it on your calendar, you’ll avoid all the back-and-forth “When are you free?” texts.

4. Be flexible.

Not big on breakfast, but 8:00 a.m. is the only time your friend is free? Take one for the team and nibble a bagel anyway. What counts is getting together — and it’s a guaranteed mood-booster. “When you connect and laugh with a friend, you know you’re not alone in dealing with life’s challenges,” says Marter.

5. Think small.

Back in the day, you lingered together over martinis and escaped to luxury spas. But those gal-pal outings aren’t realistic right now when you’re busy with family matters. So settle for close encounters of the quick kind. It’s better to squeeze in 45-minute lunch dates between client meetings than to have no F2F time at all!

Be Attitudes for Living a Happy Life

“Hap­pi­ness is a spir­i­tual path. The more you learn about true hap­pi­ness, the more you dis­cover the truth of who you are, what is impor­tant, and what your life is for.” — Robert Holden, Author of Be Happy!

Hap­pi­ness used to be one of those top­ics that not only I shied away from, but also believed that it just wasn’t going to be a part of my jour­ney. Thank­fully those self-fulfilling days of despair are over and I now know that happiness—just like any­thing else in life—is a mal­leable state of mind that can be learned.

Although some of us are born into the world smil­ing, oth­ers like myself have had to learn (and unlearn) cer­tain tech­niques and habits so that hap­pi­ness can be a part of our nat­ural lives. As I under­stand more about my Self and dis­cover who I really am I also rec­og­nize that hap­pi­ness is mine for the choosing.

Below are a few of the atti­tudes and habits I’ve cul­ti­vated over the years that I believe are key to liv­ing a happy life.

Be Authen­tic

Being authen­tic is about being who we really are with oth­ers. Authen­tic­ity is what helps us live life to our fullest poten­tial. It is also an essen­tial ingre­di­ent to find­ing hap­pi­ness within ourselves.

Liv­ing an authen­tic life ulti­mately opens us up to being in har­mony with our true Self so that we can ulti­mately dis­cover who we really are. And, the more true you are to your­self, the hap­pier you will be.

Be Know­ing

Knowl­edge doesn’t have to always resem­ble books and infor­ma­tion. How­ever, when it comes to being happy, know­ing what makes you smile and light up is extremely important.

For me, being cre­ative, spend­ing qual­ity time with close loved ones, and shar­ing what I’m learn­ing with oth­ers makes me happy. What makes you happy could be some­thing entirely different.

Ulti­mately it’s about find­ing the joy within your­self. Accord­ing to hap­pi­ness expert Dr. Robert Holden, direc­tor of The Hap­pi­ness Project, you feel the hap­pi­est when you begin to know who you truly are. “The rea­son why we’re so inter­ested in hap­pi­ness is because we want to have an expe­ri­ence of our true self.”

Be Grate­ful

“We tend to for­get that hap­pi­ness doesn’t come as a result of get­ting some­thing we don’t have, but rather of rec­og­niz­ing and appre­ci­at­ing what we do have.”— Fred­er­ick Keonig, Co-inventor of the Print­ing Press

As sim­ple as it sounds, grat­i­tude breeds happiness.

Peo­ple who have an atti­tude of grat­i­tude lead hap­pier and health­ier lives than those who don’t because grat­i­tude forces us to over­come what psy­chol­o­gists call the “neg­a­tiv­ity bias”—the ten­dency to dwell on prob­lems, annoy­ances, and life’s lit­tle injustices.

By focussing on the good parts of life—the things that we are thank­ful for—we are con­di­tion­ing our­selves to fos­ter­ing a pos­i­tive atti­tude and a healthy sense of well-being which is what hap­pi­ness is all about.

Be Com­pas­sion­ate

Any­time I think about hap­pi­ness or com­pas­sion the first thought that comes to mind is the Dalai Lama.

Hav­ing had the chance to be taught by him while I was in Wis­con­sin a few years back and hear him speak on the impor­tance of prac­tic­ing com­pas­sion with our­selves and oth­ers, I was pro­foundly changed by the expe­ri­ence and have become more com­pas­sion­ate as a result. As the Dalai Lama teaches:

“The great­est degree of inner tran­quil­ity comes from the devel­op­ment of love and com­pas­sion. The more we care for the hap­pi­ness of oth­ers, the greater is our own sense of well-being.” — Ten­zin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

It is true that by car­ing for the well-being of oth­ers, you auto­mat­i­cally increase your own level of happiness.

Be For­giv­ing

“To for­give is the high­est, most beau­ti­ful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and hap­pi­ness.” — Robert Muller, World Peace and Hap­pi­ness Guru

While the tools, tech­niques, and “be atti­tudes” for hap­pi­ness are valu­able, the most impor­tant of these is for­give­ness. Con­tin­u­ally being in a state of prac­tic­ing for­give­ness allows you to move past resent­ment, hate, fear, and inad­e­quacy while step­ping into the mind-frame of love.

Happy peo­ple learn from their expe­ri­ences, pains, dis­ap­point­ments, and are able to fully expe­ri­ence all the joy life has to offer.

For­give­ness may not be an easy task—in fact, it’s one of the most dif­fi­cult ones to practice—nonetheless, it is a sim­ple one and one worth mastering.

Tips to Grow By

Hap­pi­ness isn’t a reward, it’s part of the jour­ney and it is com­pletely attain­able. Sci­en­tists and psy­chol­o­gists have even dis­cov­ered that our brains have a cer­tain level of plas­tic­ity which allow them to be com­pletely trans­formable and capa­ble of change if we so choose.

How­ever, choos­ing to be happy is more that just a choice, it’s a con­scious deci­sion that only you can make for your­self. By being authen­tic, grate­ful, for­giv­ing, and focus­ing on the pos­i­tive things in life, you will be lead to greater hap­pi­ness.

And as Abra­ham Lin­coln once said, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” So, make up your mind to be happy and start liv­ing a hap­pier life today.

About Aisha Quinece

“How am I making the world a better place?” is a question I ask myself almost on a daily basis. As a wife, mother, designer, writer, and teacher, actively enriching the lives of others is a responsibility that I take seriously. Supplying you with practical ways to “Create Your Life” is what my blog, www.AishaQuinece.com, is all about. So, check it out, visit me on Facebook, follow me Twitter, and get started creating your life today!

The 72 Hour Design Challenge

Who has a space they have absolutely no idea what to do with? How’s that living room looking? Bedroom need a little TLC? Bathroom kindof drab? What about your kitchen? Could it use a facelift? Whatever your design dilemma is let’s tackle it together!

Here’s how it works…subscribe to my blog at www.yourcolorvision.wordpress.com  (if you haven’t already), email me (click on TV to your top right) clear pictures of the space and what your design style is i.e. modern, traditional, rustic etc and I’ll respond within 72 hours with a design solution!

C’mon this will be fun! If you want to see an example, check out the ideas I came up with for my friend Jimmy’s Place below.

You have nothing to lose. Ready…Set…Send me those pics!

Be COLORful!

RHOBH Russell Armstrong Commits Suicide!

I am so very sad to be reporting the tragic death of Real Housewives of Beverly Hill’s Taylor Armstrong’s husband, Russell Armstrong. He was found dead at a friend’s house on Monday night after apparently hanging himself. He did not leave a note, but there have been rumors  that his strained marriage to Taylor and financial downfall may have had something to do with him taking his own life. Russell’s ex-wife, Barbara Fredrickson, with whom he shares a 14 year old son, blames Taylor for his death.

“She drove him into financial stress and it just ruined him. Now Aiden [their 14 year old son] must continue his life without his father,” said Fredrickson.

As of today, Taylor had  not revealed the devistating news to the 5 year old daughter that she shared with Russell. The TMF family sends prayers and hugs to Taylor, Kennedy, Barbara, Aiden and any other relative or friend who has been affected by this tragic loss. May God be with you during your time of mourning and need.

Living Your Best Life!

Hello There Everyone! I took a hiatus from writing for a few months because managing my business, being a wife and mother to a 14 year old and 14 month old was beginning to take its toll on me. I needed some serious down time; time to reflect; time to think; time to just be.  During that time I made a lot of decisions; one being the transformation of content on Today’s Modern Family. While a small part of the content will be focused on the struggles that modern famillies face, a large part will be geared toward looking at the brighter side of things. We’re going to talk more about self-care, good food, style, general parenting, home decor, love and topics that focus on living your best life.

While I was in church this past Sunday, my pastor said something that really hit home. He said that too many of us are spending the majority of our time fighting SOMEONE instead of fighting for SOMETHING. We get way to involved in the mess instead of enjoying the little miracles that we are blessed with every single day. And we spend way too much time trying to change to people who constantly deplete us emotionally, mentally and physically instead of the ones who add to our lives.  Yes we have to acknowledge and sometimes address certain issues in our lives, but it doesn’t mean we have spend the majority of our time focused on them. Living your best life doesn’t mean constantly dwelling on your problems; it actually means living your best life and that’s what we plan to continually emphasize here on Today’s Modern Family.

Happy Living,

~Kela

Step-Sibling Rivalry

“Parents often underestimate the extent  and the importance of the changes that children go through when they integrate into a new stepfamily.”

As parents and co-parents, the number one goal for our blended families is usually to make sure that our children are able to cohesively adapt to their newfound families.  Unfortunately, we often underestimate the feelings of grief and loss that our children feel and if there are other children within the family that are also being blended in and these childen end up becoming territorial and often times, that means war — not just for the children but also for the parents involved!

Traditional families and stepfamilies alike have the problem of sibling rivalry, however, one major difference is that when a remarriage occurs, one set of children usually has to adapt to a different home, a whole new set of rules and the order of their lives has been turned upside down.  For the children that currently live in the home, they usually have it a bit easier considering they don’t have to change homes, but rather they most likely have the experience of their birth order becoming askewed.  For example, a youngest child may no longer be the baby of the family and the oldest child may find they he/she has older siblings now.

Another cause of sibiling rivalry is often us.  Parents themselves often tend to show favortism toward their own children.   Although most parents try their best and think they are being fair, at times, they really arent.  It’s a hard pill to swallow, but  for children dealing with this situation, it can be very emotionally distressing.   One way of alleviating this issue is to deal with the relationship you and your stepchild share.   Make sure your stepchild knows that you care for them as much as you care for your biological children.  This will help to allieveate some of their emotional stress.   Sibling rivalry is fairly common and can be addressed relatively easy and it is important to do so.  Here are a few ways to help you address some of the sensitive issues that come along with step-sibling rivalry:

• Use the children’s conflicts to teach them to recognize their emotions.
• Never lose sight of your goals as a parent which means you are responsbile for training them for relationships, character, etc.
• Don’t let any of the children wear your down.
• Use the particular rivalry to teach them that you as the parents are in control.
• Don’t rush to solve every problem for them — let them work things out on their own.  This teaches them to own their responsibility.
• Teach them to forgive.
• Reset your expectations.  Conflict is going to happen. 
• Teach them tolerance.  Make sure all children in the household know that their opinions matter and they are free to express them in healthy ways.
• Teach them respective communication.

Step-siblings usually fight with each other because they lack the social skills to work things out. They’re naturally self-centreed, so they don’t empathize with one another.  We have to teach them how to negotiate and to give and take.  TMF Readers, remember, our children did not ask to be thrust into a blended/step family.  It is our responsbility to make sure they have the right tools to navigate successfully.  If we don’t, we may well end up with a disaster on our hands.

Peace & Blessings,
Diane

REALITY TV CASTING FOR BLENDED FAMILIES

Have you been told your blended family is so dynamic that you should have your own TV show?

NOW CASTING dynamic blended families for their own reality series!!

Major Cable Network is looking to cast Blended Families To Be or Newly Blended Families who want to share their lives with us. We are looking for outgoing, charismatic families to participate. If you are interested in finding out more about this possible opportunity, please email a brief bio on your family or family to be to cbcasts@yahoo.com

JACKIE CHRISTIE “KNOWS BEST”

TMF Readers, let me introduce you to the fabulous Jackie Christie, wife of NBA Superstar Doug Christie, fashion entrepreneur, CEO of her own Record Label, 4 time best selling author and a woman that was just named the National Association of Professional Women’s 2011 Woman of the Year!

Jackie, welcome to Today’s Modern Family. Let me start this interview by saying to you that I am in complete awe of you. You are doing big things and I admire you for your passion and how far you have come not just for yourself and your family but for all women! Congratulations on being named the National Association of Professional Women’s 2011 Woman of the Year. What an accomplishment! You are certainly an inspiration to me and to lots of young women out there who aspire to have more so thank you for allowing Today’s Modern Family to have this opportunity to interview you.

TMF:  You are a wife, mother of three, fashion designer, model, producer, CEO of a record company and best-selling author. How do you balance being a wife, mother and entrepreneur?

JC: Balancing them all is definitely not easy. I had to learn how to prioritize. If what you really wants is to be the best wife, mother, friend and daughter you can be then everything outside of that has no place in your life. For me, I like to set goals and make lists of things I want to get done and accomplish everyday and I work hard to complete my goals. I always put my family first and insure they are all getting everything they need from me; this allows me the clarity to continue my life’s journey of navigating my businesses, writing my books, designing my lines, running my label, etc. It truly is rewarding at the end of the day when I know I helped someone realize their dreams, made my kids smile or completed my to do list; It feels really good and It helps me feel balanced.

TMF: Its no secret that being a basketball wife can be very difficult and you are known for stopping at nothing to protect your marriage. How do the two of you maintain such a strong relationship?

JC:  We love and respect each other to the fullest & put each other first. We communicate about everything no matter what and we are best friends. When you have all these things in your relationship it makes the intimacy even greater (smiles.)

TMF:  Let’s talk about your latest book titled “Sexual Relations, A His and Hers Guide to Greater Intimacy.” Obviously, the title speaks for itself and we here at Today’s Modern Family love to put emphasis on how important it is to continue to court our spouses in order to maintain the intimacy that is crucial to the survival of our relationships. So, I am dying to know what made you, personally, want to create a his/hers guide like this and when can we expect it to hit the shelves?

JC : My new book “Sexual Relations: A His and Her Guide To Greater Intimacy” Is a modern day sex bible. It will be the go to book for men and women to help them experience greater intimacy in their lives. I feel I have been extremely blessed with a strong libido and sexual desire which I feel is a big part of having a strong and committed relationship/marriage. I have been blessed with my husband Doug in that he loves me and desires me in the deepest possible way. We are always asked how we are still so much in love, so now in my new book I will share my secrets to having a long-lasting beautiful and fulfilling relationship as well as many other surprises.

TMF:  In 2009 you launched your Colored Girl fashion collection and in 2011 the Jackie Christie Black Collection both to rave reviews! Tell us where your inspiration in the world of fashion comes from.

JC: I draw inspiration from so many places, whether it’s reading a book, walking along the beach, meeting new people or having lunch in a nice restaurant. The love I have for fashion is un-measurable and I always design from my heart. When I designed my Colored Girl line, I was inspired by all the amazing beautiful women around the world from all sizes, nationalities and backgrounds. I feel like every woman on earth should feel beautiful, so when I design I do it with that in mind.

TMF:  Your latest project is an upcoming web series, “Jackie Christie Knows Best”. Tell us more about this and what inspired you to do the show?

JC: Maya Angelou once said “when you learn — teach”, and so I feel like I have a lot that I can teach men and women. My web series is going to be both entertaining and informative. I have a lot of really great celebrity interviews, special guest appearances and more. I don’t want to give away all the surprises so I encourage you all to tune in. (smiles)

TMF:  I also understand that through this web series, you will be raising funds for unemployed women and single mothers. Can you tell me more about this and why you chose unemployed women and single mothers?

JC: Yes, I wanted to reach out to single mothers and unemployed women because I know what it’s like to be in that situation. For a short time I was an unemployed mother and that’s when I decided I wanted to own my own business and I feel that there’s not that many programs geared toward helping women that are in these situations. I feel like through my web series I could bring attention to the growing issue of single mothers and unemployed women. I feel like its apart of my responsibility to help raise money and help erase their struggle by donating money, clothes, etc.

TMF:  Now for some fun questions…

What does the term modern mom mean to you?

JC: Wow! The term modern mom to me means a renaissance women and multi tasker! It also signifies [to me] a strong women that loves her family and herself and wants to be happy and fulfilled. When a person is happy within themselves it shows and radiates to their family , friends and everyone else.

What is your definition of a good marriage?

JC: True love, respect, commitment, intimacy, friendship and communication.

What is your notion of family?

JC: My notion of family is an unbreakable bond shared amongst a family; it is a gift from God that we must cherish always. Even in the closest of families there will be ups and downs but a family that respects, loves and cherishes each other and keeps God first can overcome any and all obstacles. To me, family is everything.

Well, Jackie, let me close by saying I have thoroughly enjoyed this interview. I am a big fan of you and Doug Christie and we here at Today’s Modern Family have been honored to have you with us. Please feel free to come by and visit with us anytime.

JC: Thank You so much! We definitely will. I would love for all of you to become my twitter pals and I’ll be yours. I’m at twitter.com/JackieChristie.

Next Page »