The old saying goes like this….”A friend in need is a friend indeed.” For a long time, I always thought that the meaning of true friendship was (1) someone who stands by your side no matter what, (2) someone who hurts when you hurt and (3) someone that tells you exactly what you want to hear when you need to hear it.
Well, in my more mature years, I have come to know that numbers 1 and 2 above are absolutely correct, but number 3 is more than a half truth. As friends, especially as women, we need true friends and true friends are not what Kela and I call co-signers. For example, there have been many times that I have needed advice and thought I was absolutely in the right in my thinking, in my feelings, my actions and my reactions. Albeit, I may be one of the luckiest women in the world to have a friend like Kela that will not just tell me the truth, she will downright tell me when I am in the wrong. Many times, I have had to be put in check and yes, it is hard to hear constructive criticism and it was far from what I really wanted to hear at the time, but was absolutely needed in order to move forward and in order to progress personally and professionally. With these lessons, Kela has made me a better friend to her and to others.
Ladies, we need each other. There are just things that our husbands don’t understand and our kids shouldn’t be privy to. There are times when we need a good listening ear of a girlfriend. However, that listening ear needs to be level for our own well-being. As friends, we need to be comfortable in our skin to tell one another the whole truth and nothing but the truth without feeling the need to cosign. Cosigning is not healthy for either party. In fact, it accomplishes nothing but short term gratification and the end result usually backfires on you.
TMF Readers, true friends see you from the inside out. They are by your side when we are not at our best. A true friend stands by you even when you take a stance on something they might not think will work because they believe in your ideas. They let you make your own mistakes so you can personally learn the lesson without them having to say “I told you so.” A true friend loves you for who you are, not what you can do for them. They stand beside you, they work with you. A true friend knows all of the good about you and all of the not so good but could care less.
A true friend never cosigns for the simple reason of making you feel better, they give you the truth and leave their opinions aside because they know that their opinion may be biased toward you.
True friends are difficult to find, hard to leave and impossible to forget and I am truly blessed to have you Kela. Thank you for allowing me to ride along on this journey with you. Thank you for believing in my ability as a coach and as your friend. I only hope that one day I can help you as much as you have helped me to be a better person.